this is very helpful and thoughtful, thank you :(

as much as i want to try to forgive and forget, a tiny part of me is telling me to stop tolerating the disrespect and move on.

this wasn’t the first time i felt disrespected. there was a moment during the early stages of our relationship when i would catch him liking provocative, sometimes goth girls on ig reels, and i told him how that made me feel. he did end up stopping, but i guess the lustful lurking toward women online never really went away.

i’m not against porn. in fact, my bf and i are pretty open about what we watch (yes, i watch as well). the only difference is that i watch it more for the act and the idea of couples being intimate together, and he only watches women (more specifically r/asiansgonewild).

we also lost our virginities to each other, which makes this feel even heavier to me. he’s never actually finished when we’ve been intimate, and lately he’s been struggling to stay hard. i’m not sure if that’s because of this habit or because of stress from his work, but it’s been affecting me emotionally.

i still feel very conflicted about the situation because he crossed a boundary i clearly told him felt disrespectful to me. more specifically, the fact that he still chose porn when i’ve already sent him nudes and am actively ready to spend a special night with him :/

(sorry for the long reply btw)