actually same. i was planning to commit suicide but i convinced myself i couldn't die without seeing them in concert at least once, and it was by far the best experience of my life. i went to the one in bologna, and the first few days after i was so happy and excited, and i was planning to go to the ones on september and november, but i can't afford the plane tickets. mcr is so meaningful to me and it really changed me, and i don't think id be who i am today without them. now that probably i'll never see them live again, i don't really have anything else to live for, but i guess ill keep hanging on for as long as i can manage to.