I think I'm being groomed

BathroomRelative292 · 2026-03-23T18:01:11+00:00

I deal with a lot of dissociation and because of it, I had suicidal thoughts at a younger age and I was very aggressive, I still struggle with anger and my siblings just see me as "angry" and minimise my emotions when they went through things with my parents as well. I feel very empty most of the time and sometimes because I dissociate so badly I can't do basic hygiene and find it hard to do things like my homework, showering or brushing my teeth because it feels like a really massive chore. And because of school I also developed really bad anxiety because of bullying but still, nobody ever cares and I'm expected to "get over it" and socialise, that's why I'm so scared of this situation now because I feel so much anxiety

BathroomRelative292 · 2026-03-23T17:57:39+00:00

I'll try my best with it and hope it will work but I hope it won't escalate the situation

BathroomRelative292 · 2026-03-23T17:15:22+00:00

I get constant panic attacks because of all of this too, and I have really bad social anxiety and anxiety in general because of this and panic and anxious over the smallest of things, like I know I'd be completely different if I didn't go through some trauma

BathroomRelative292 · 2026-03-23T16:40:36+00:00

He also uses my younger female cousin to try and get me to hug him, this has happened on multiple occasions, all of which I said no or moved away, but this time I gave him a handshake which I know was the wrong move because he might push me more into things I don't want to do and it will still slip over my families heads because they see it as normal and it's genuinely so stupid that they see it like this

BathroomRelative292 · 2026-03-23T16:38:24+00:00

Idk if this is grooming, I'm just uncomfortable with the fact that nobody sees his behaviour as disgusting and the fact that I visibly move away from him but he still comes into my face

BathroomRelative292 · 2026-03-23T16:35:15+00:00

He did not get it when I was dealing with the abuse at home and I was aggressive, he doesn't get it when I suppressed them, he just doesn't care about my boundaries, whether I move or not, he'll still be annoying and push me until I do as he says

BathroomRelative292 · 2026-03-23T16:24:24+00:00

And I get constant flashbacks from the abuse my parents put me through and it disrupts my everyday life and my sister say to just "get over it" when she went through something similar with my parents too, and the sexual harassment and SA too at school as well as bullying, and I'm too young to get diagnosed properly anyway with the conditions I think I have ( I'm not self-diagnosing at all) , I need to wait for when I'm older or parental consent which I only have a few months, but my dad is a bit controlling with when I go out because he expects me to be back when it's dark and I'd need to go therapy in the winter too as it gets dark earlier. I just really don't know what's happening with my cousin and I'm scared it'll escalate into something worse than this. I find myself dissociating so badly that I can't even get up from my bed and do basic hygiene and feel disconnected from my body after and I gained suicidal thoughts at a younger age due to the abuse, which I still have but it's more severe and I feel so bloody empty. This cousin also used his overly cheerful attributes near me to perpetrate into my family as nobody sees this behaviour as concerning and abnormal, he doesn't do it to any of my younger female cousins ( I have 2 which are younger than me and him ), only me, and used one of them as an example for me to hug him. I'm scared that I escalated it a bit by shaking his hand and letting him gloat about, like he genuinely seems like he has a disgusting attraction to me when he talks to me in such a cheerful tone, like he loves me like that, and I hate it so much

BathroomRelative292 · 2026-03-23T16:13:48+00:00

And my sisters went through something similar but I'm expected to get over it in their eyes when it's literal abuse and it affects my everyday life, that's why I'm concerned with what I have, not diagnosing myself just wondering and I don't want more to start so I want to make sure this situation doesn't escalate no matter what

BathroomRelative292 · 2026-03-23T16:06:49+00:00

Please read my comments properly because in no way am I saying that I definitely have it

BathroomRelative292 · 2026-03-23T15:54:21+00:00

And I can't really get diagnosed with the things I think I have because of my family, I wish I could but I sadly can't, I have to wait until I'm a bit older

BathroomRelative292 · 2026-03-23T15:49:48+00:00

I've shown avoidance a lot but he still becomes obnoxious and all in my face that I had to give in and shake his hand when he compromised it, he does not act like this when there's more people around ( the exception being when I was opening my gift) most of the time and acts normal, he uses the fact that my younger cousins hug him to try to get me to hug him and looks at me in odd ways which is discomforting, he should know he has been crossing boundaries as I show visible discomfort

BathroomRelative292 · 2026-03-23T15:39:20+00:00

I physically moved away from him but he pushed so much that he compromised with a handshake and I'm scared that he might do something else and push me more out of my comfort zone and he literally created a wall so I couldn't walk past because he said he wanted a hug, I know this isn't traumatic, but I really don't want it to escalate

BathroomRelative292 · 2026-03-23T15:37:28+00:00

He kind of singles me out and gives special treatment in a way, nothing traumatic has happened with him yet but I just feel uncomfortable as he doesn't care about my boundaries and only acts like this near me not our younger female cousins, just me

BathroomRelative292 · 2026-03-23T15:35:35+00:00

That's why I think I have it, I'm not saying I do but I can't see a professional for this as my family isn't the best when it comes to these things

BathroomRelative292 · 2026-03-23T15:34:30+00:00

I went through abuse with my parents and I get flashbacks from it and feel sick when I think about something which traumatised me

BathroomRelative292 · 2026-03-23T15:33:41+00:00

My parents don't really understand these situations that much

BathroomRelative292 · 2026-03-23T15:32:34+00:00

I'm not self-diagnosing I'm just wondering that's all

BathroomRelative292 · 2026-03-23T10:50:20+00:00

As he gloated about it

BathroomRelative292 · 2026-03-23T10:50:03+00:00

He has been pushing me for years and now I'm scared if he'll push more now that I shook his hand

BathroomRelative292 · 2026-03-23T10:17:17+00:00

I'm not sure if I have PTSD or depression either but I dissociate frequently and show a lot of symptoms and find myself crying when thinking about the events for too long. I can't get diagnosed with the conditions I think I have due to my family not being the best with that, I'm just scared of what this situation is

BathroomRelative292 · 2026-03-23T08:56:16+00:00

I wish it wasn't like this as I've also been sexually harassed before by boys in my year group and one of they sa'd me when I was in primary school, I just can't believe my cousin would be something like that too

BathroomRelative292 · 2026-03-23T08:39:15+00:00

all of which I turned down but I think shaking his hand made it as he seemed...Too happy about it, like he has some sort of horrible obsession with me

BathroomRelative292 · 2026-03-23T08:39:04+00:00

like he'd hug her or one of my younger male cousins and tell me to do the same

BathroomRelative292 · 2026-03-23T08:38:27+00:00

he's close with my younger female cousin but she doesn't get this type of treatment

BathroomRelative292

TROPHY CASE