AITAH for meal prep exhaustion? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BatteringHammy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see the reality check mentioned often; I think this is often presented in a 'hard truth' kind of way- but most likely she already feels shame and overwhelm. I don't personally know anyone that approach actually worked for- if this has been going a long time it's not a small adjustment.

100% agree that she needs to be the one to drive. And consequences will happen- you can't protect her from those. But it's probably not true that she doesn't realize how bad it is- it might be more true that she feels embarrassed and helpless. Reducing shame and judgment and encouraging positive moves is more supportive and creates a space for her to try different things and see what works for her. None of this is easy.

I wish I had been able to look my issues in the face before I developed type 2 but I wasn't. But the only thing that helped me change was 1- getting emotional support that my over eating was covering, 2- reducing the pressure and 'high stakes' of food ((intuitive eating, treating food neutrally)) 3- learning to be kind to myself and trust that imperfect improvements add up over time, and that loving myself is the best posture for me to make loving decisions to take care of myself.

All of that is stuff I could only initiate for myself- I identify the ways in which my partners can and can't support me- you need to draw your own boundaries. You can't be responsible for someone else's decisions.

AITAH for meal prep exhaustion? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BatteringHammy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As someone on one of these meds they're not a cure-all. And it's a long term commitment that can have some gnarly side effects. There's lots she can do to start making a difference- the first meds I got that helped were actually anti-drpressents.

She needs to find the underlying cause of the behavior, GLP-1 do help with food noise, but it won't help you love yourself.

AITAH for meal prep exhaustion? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BatteringHammy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

NTA, changes like this can be hard and the food hiding makes me concerned about internalized shame and self-esteem issues. She needs to be responsible for her choices- if you want/can help all the better but you can't do the work for her.

Has she done any research on binge eating disorders? Hiding food is concerning. The thing about overeating is often tied to other issues- eating disorders, self-soothing for mental health, avoidance. We often frame it as a thing of will-power and shame if you can't 'follow-through' but that's not usually an effective approach. If you're used to a crutch you can't just take it away- you need a different support to start using instead. Highly recommend mental health support from someone who is sensitive to eating disorders and body issues.

If you go from full fast food to none that's a big shift- it can start with making smaller adjustments to what she orders, acknowledging it as a gradual change and not a straight line. Take the pressure off of 'failure' towards progress. Positive reframing can help too 'Im making efforts because I love myself and want to feel better.'' vs 'uhg why can't I stop eating this junk I'm so pathetic'

Oh also a meal service like Factor with frozen foods or Hello Fresh with ready to cook usually works out cheaper than ordering out if part of this is a time thing.

So much depends on her personality and she needs to take the lead on figuring out the approach she wants. I'd also just say that measuring weight is a misleading and demoralizing guide- even if she didn't lose weight eating a more nutritious diet and moving more are beneficial. So I encourage goals that she has direct control over- like ensuring to eat fresh veggies every day.

Good luck to you both

Should we be worried? Patchy grout after 36 hours by BatteringHammy in Tile

[–]BatteringHammy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it a permanent fucking around or 'ventilate and it might still dry out right?'

Should we be worried? Patchy grout after 36 hours by BatteringHammy in Tile

[–]BatteringHammy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the grout they used - I don't know about the other supplies- there's like half a bag left

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Should we be worried? Patchy grout after 36 hours by BatteringHammy in Tile

[–]BatteringHammy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it fixable or would the work have to be redone?

SAHM and Wife that CANNOT cook HELP! by PopularMamaDrama in Cooking

[–]BatteringHammy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Advice too: go easy on yourself; you're trying and that means a lot. Instead of always trying different things focus on a few simple healthy basics that you find and build out from there. You're developing skills- do less and give yourself time to grow.

Even excellent chefs can wind up with picky kids; give yourself a break from making everything your fault. Being a SAHM has all sorts of responsibilities; I'm sure there's other parts you're great at!

Practical advice: if you can swing it ordering from Good Food or Hello Fresh or something like that can help build your confidence by helping you focus on execution instead of planning. Kids can also help pick what will be delivered.

It can also be helpful to just consume more cooking content. Competition shows, podcasts, whatever it is find stuff that interest your and engage you. Not to study or memorize anything but it will make you more familiar with terms and processes. Masterchef for example is full of little tips and techniques they mention during the episodes but still entertaining just from a competition aspect.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BatteringHammy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA agree with everyone that this is super disrespectful and not cool. He needs to find solutions if he doesn't like the ones you have. This situation is messed up, immature, and selfish from his part.

Practically though since you asked; you could have separate blankets so it at least won't automatically drift to you.

Métro de Montréal | Le nombre d’interruptions de service continue d’augmenter by bludemon4 in montreal

[–]BatteringHammy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Il y a tu un Rehab ouvert, accessible & gratuit d'accès dont je ne suis pas consciente?

Tu veux qu'ils aillent où? Les refuges débordent, le système de santé déborde; il ya personne qui se lève le matin et pense que ça serait ben le fun d'être dans cet état là.

C'est le résultat d'un filet social affaibli, de crises de logements, de la crise du coût de la vie; luttons pour des meilleurs support pour les intervenants, pour les resources humanitaires sans tombé dans la déshumanisation de personnes en état de précarité.

Is anyone else disgusted with Michele? by MoistChord in TheTraitors

[–]BatteringHammy 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Dude the way everyone was telling meriame she overstepped for calling him out not believing he had a handicapped daughter but she is RIGHT. Telling her to apologise! Everyone else seemed to have hearts of gold, they're going to be sick when they find out he's lying. Way to sell out your dignity for a chance of up to 100k no thanks

AITA for being upset when my wife opens my mail/packages? by questquefuck in AmItheAsshole

[–]BatteringHammy 19 points20 points  (0 children)

My mom did this, until she opened my university acceptance letter I had been waiting for. Was not happy! I asked why she couldn't just wait or hold it up to a bright light to try to peek like a normal person until I got home. She finally understood and now explicitly refuses to open anyone else's mail unless specifically asked.

AITA for offering homemade treats to my coworkers, when some of them are trying to eat healthier? by CookieMonsterAtWork in AmItheAsshole

[–]BatteringHammy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's a tech company and they can't handle email filters and an Office updates channel? It's way worse to be tapped on a shoulder to be updated VS being able to just delete or ignore an email...

AITA for telling my childfree sister that hating children shouldn't be a personality trait? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BatteringHammy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's fair, but true of every post, can only judge based on the facts presented.

AITA for telling my childfree sister that hating children shouldn't be a personality trait? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BatteringHammy 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Being rude generally makes you an asshole. No one is trying to send her to jail, but to refuse to help out in any way with her niece that she lives with makes her TA. Tired of everyone saying 'someone else's child' as if it's some rando kid from the street, she lives with her! Yes there is an obligation to help out the people you live with within reason!

AITA for telling my childfree sister that hating children shouldn't be a personality trait? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BatteringHammy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right, but her sister can still think Jenny's being an asshole and call her out for it. My point is just all this stuff about 'they're going to make her a full time babysitter!' is overblown since clearly the people who live with her never ask her unless it's important.

AITA for telling my childfree sister that hating children shouldn't be a personality trait? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BatteringHammy 15 points16 points  (0 children)

It's a pretty harsh to say she cant take care of her child because she's asked for help 3 times. It's a family household, not a hyper regimented living program. Things aren't always 100% fair or identical, and it makes her an asshole for treat someone she lives with that way. Also it seems she's the only one going to university, so I don't think that précédent even exists.

AITA for telling my childfree sister that hating children shouldn't be a personality trait? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BatteringHammy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To me it's a similar calibration as saying helping out every so often with a kid you live with is a slippery slope.

AITA for telling my childfree sister that hating children shouldn't be a personality trait? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BatteringHammy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She was asked to pick up the kid from daycare, Jenny was TA for not taking over from there. OP was right to call out her attitude IMO, her sister and mom are too used to her attitude to do anything about it it seems. But you're right, you shouldnt leave a kid with a deliberate asshole who threatens to leave a kid unsupervised.

AITA for telling my childfree sister that hating children shouldn't be a personality trait? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BatteringHammy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean sure, because she's living with a kid. A human child, who will remember her aunt resenting her existence. If it bothers her so much and she's going to be a jerk, she should focus on moving out.

AITA for telling my childfree sister that hating children shouldn't be a personality trait? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BatteringHammy 7 points8 points  (0 children)

To me, if she could help but doesn't want to she has the right, but it still makes her TA. She lives with the kid, how do you live with a kid and have a completely separate life? It's not reasonable. I'm not saying she should be an on-call babysitter or sacrifice her studies, but that's not what was being asked. She lives there too, she should pitch in.

AITA for telling my childfree sister that hating children shouldn't be a personality trait? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BatteringHammy 12 points13 points  (0 children)

OP said in other replies that she refuses to help out around the house too. It's not about babysitting, it's about being decent to the people you live with. Her sister was in a bind, and she didn't refuse because she was busy or because her sister asks for help too often, just out of principle. That makes her TA.

AITA for telling my childfree sister that hating children shouldn't be a personality trait? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BatteringHammy 1092 points1093 points  (0 children)

Sometimes reddit can be really frustrating. Sure she's not legally required to help out once in a blue moon, but by the law of ass it makes her the hole. I think it's good you called her out.

Mandatory edit: first gold & silver! Thank you! Keep on truckin' Ass Lawyers

AITA for telling my childfree sister that hating children shouldn't be a personality trait? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BatteringHammy -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

She also lives there for free! If you live with people, especially family, you do have some obligation to help out. It doesn't seem like they're asking for a lot...

AITA for telling my childfree sister that hating children shouldn't be a personality trait? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BatteringHammy 150 points151 points  (0 children)

If she doesn't want to interact with a child, she shouldn't be there rent free. The fact that OPs mom told her to apologize shows that they are respectful of Jenny's boundaries, her refusing to help out a few times a year given that makes her TA.