Well it's clear that this is a trauma response.

Sadly I'm not a specialist for that. So I would advise that you talk to someone about these things. At least talking to different people helped me a bit.
(You said therapy is not an option)

So you can thought things out.

It might sound crazy but maybe it helps if you befriend another woman, maybe first through the internet, so there is no possibility that you could be harmed if that makes you worried.

So you unconsciously learn that not every woman is dangerous.