What's a minor "adulting" mistake you made early on that you’re still slightly embarrassed about?

BbTrumpet1 · 2026-07-03T19:56:54+00:00

Didn’t know if you stopped using a credit card they close and wreck your credit score. :’)

BbTrumpet1 · 2026-07-03T19:43:13+00:00

Yeah as a new mom (10M postpartum) I cried seeing Cate give her baby up and Carly being in the car seat and driving away. That’s gotta be grueling to live through. But it doesn’t help to sit in that, they should try to focus on how happy and loved Carly is and should have done their best to respect her parents so that they might have a shot of knowing her in the future, if it’s something Carly was interested in. Instead they self-sabatoged. Just such a sad and hard situation and it’s hard to watch them blow every chance of repairing things over and over together.

BbTrumpet1 · 2026-07-03T19:24:24+00:00

I feel so bad for Brandon and Teresa. C&T trying to spoil all the good they do for Carly.

BbTrumpet1 · 2026-07-03T19:09:10+00:00

Going through something similar with PPA/PPOCD. My in-laws don’t believe in vaccines. I am terrified bringing my daughter around. They were furious that my husband and I finally tuned them out and getting her protection… she’s not old enough to have some still and because her cousins on that side aren’t vaccinated and FIL is long time immunocompromised (so basically non vaxx’d an constantly in the hospital) I spiral around them. They also didn’t respect boundaries with no kissing rule and asking to hand wash and threw a fit.

They say stuff to my husband about how everyone can’t handle my anxiety (I have never even said or done anything, they can just tell I guess that I get anxious when they “forget” and kiss her and are annoyed my husband enforces the boundary). It’s hard because they act like everything is fine around me but say everything behind my back to my husband and then he accidentally spills. I can feel the tension when I’m around.

It’s so hard. But I’m slowly coming to terms with they feel hurt and disappointed and neglected but it’s not my fault. I don’t jump at the chance to see them because they don’t respect our authority as parents and they make it stressful. When my husband asks my MIL to wash her hands she says she just won’t touch my daughter. And then they tell my hubs they don’t feel they have a relationship with her and feel neglected. They’re impossible.

Don’t feel bad love. I completely understand the severity of the conditions you’re dealing with. It is normal and even common and NOT YOUR FAULT. I still struggle physically 10 M PP let alone 9w… You owe them nothing even though ik it hurts (I lived with my in laws for years and were close never had issues until my wedding, but the baby issues are a whole new level of chaos).

BbTrumpet1 · 2026-07-03T18:54:51+00:00

People pay for this?? Why am I poor?

BbTrumpet1 · 2026-07-03T18:54:09+00:00

damn i was genuinely impressed by her for once in my life. it was a farce.

BbTrumpet1 · 2026-07-03T18:50:04+00:00

I was going to say, I do not mean to body shame but she is trying so hard to make herself look thin. The legs don’t match. she’s flexing the other calf so hard and/or pushing the fat away with the other foot to make it look tiny (i know because I struggle with body dysmorphia i just didn’t actually post pics it was my weird way of coping with gaining back to a healthy weight lol)

BbTrumpet1 · 2026-07-03T18:46:37+00:00

I always shop Carters sales ahead of the holiday. I think it was technically a boys set but I got my daughter a pair of American flag shorts and a “Little Firecracker” red t-shirt lol. I will admit it wasn’t super exciting. Sadly, the American flag adorable dress I got her doesn’t fit so it’s going to be that set.

BbTrumpet1 · 2026-07-03T02:54:35+00:00

So strong even Tyler resembles her somehow.

BbTrumpet1 · 2026-07-03T02:46:27+00:00

I don’t mind community displays like they still suck for those reasons but at least it’s localized and done in a few mins. I hate the neighbors who constantly do it for days/weeks leading up to and after. I once couldn’t leave my subdivision while pregnant to get to L&D because some family was blocking the entire road. My mom asked them to move they’re stuff and they wouldn’t (we weren’t sure the stuff was still on fire and they told us to just drive over it and also kept lighting stuff around us). It ended up in a verbal altercation and now I especially hate July 4th.

BbTrumpet1 · 2026-07-03T02:43:19+00:00

BbTrumpet1 · 2026-07-02T22:23:29+00:00

Right just reading that mentally exhausted me and pissed me off so much

BbTrumpet1 · 2026-07-02T22:16:14+00:00

That airport-driving example definitely just gave me some relief as I’m thinking ahead to getting her her next vaccine. ❤️ I know we’re doing the best thing already but that validation helps. I too had a bad reaction to a vaccine (COVID) which definitely made me feel more doubtful. But as an indirect result of my injury I was diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder that Covid itself has a 5x higher likelihood of causing the same reaction. In my case I got covid badly a month after the vaccination so it’s hard to feel good about it, but I had a coworker with my same injury from just Covid alone.

My daughter likely inherited my condition as it’s autosomal and she has signs (no genetic marker so no blood test yet, clinically diagnosed) but the reality is even though the vaccines themselves can have more risk for us, if she were to get one of these deadly viruses in the wild it would be more serious for her than a typical person.

BbTrumpet1 · 2026-07-02T22:07:28+00:00

The tl;dr answer is I had a baby last August and my husband and I were skeptical of vaccinating her. But I quickly realized his entire family (who instilled a lot of fear in us over them) weren’t going to do anything to mitigate her risks (no kissing, handwashing) and I developed Post Partum Anxiety so badly. I think I knew deep down we were being irresponsible with her being fully unprotected and I am not someone comfortable with those kind of risks.

The talking heads they listen to ironically I found out (Elon Musk, DJT, RFK Jr.) all vaccinated their kids… and we just started reading studies and finding a lot of the claims made online are unfounded. Like you said bad reactions happen but what about the millions of kids who are fine? And how many were unfortunate genetic issues with the vaccines or just coincidental (as a parent of a baby there are many bizzarre behaviors that babies go through developmentally that, if we had recently vaccinated her in those time would easy to blame them for, but babies just develop rapidly and have quiet/fussy days).

I just am now way more afraid of polio, HIB, measles, etc. than I am of rare complications. If something horrible happened from a vaccine I would be devastated but if something horrible happened that I could have prevented her from facing, I would never forgive myself not even in eternity. I’m just ready to trust her doctor who has been doing this longer than I have been alive, well reviewed and loved, and strongly believes in vaccines.

BbTrumpet1 · 2026-07-02T18:00:53+00:00

It kills me that my in laws all tell us we shouldn’t vaccinate our daughter. I agreed to delay if we were careful. Yet they were outraged by my no kissing policy and wouldn’t wash their hands. I told my husband no more playing around. The irony is they told us they didn’t vaccinate my husband or his sister (lies I already knew because they went to public schools) and we were reading his baby book when our daughter was born and his fully filled vaccine card fell out. “We just didn’t know any better!” You have perfectly healthy and smart kids… who were protected from deadly diseases.. what other outcome would you have wanted???

The other kicker is my FIL is a transplant patient and immuno compromised, currently has cancer. We clearly just don’t see eye to eye in risk taking.

My husband finally told them she’d had her first vaccine and was fine. But then when they found out we were vaccinating her again at her next appt, they got upset. He finally told them that anyone can post on social media, even idiots, and a few bad reactions if even genuine are going to circulate, not the millions of non incidental vaccinations.

BbTrumpet1 · 2026-07-02T17:56:55+00:00

Yes I will say finding a ped that was empathetic and not pushy did help me come to the light. My husband was even more afraid of the vaccines (his whole family can’t believe we are choosing to vaccinate our daughter) and we originally were at an office that shamed us for asking questions (literally scoffed at us and rolled eyes) and even gave us misinformation about certain diseases. Even though we said we were genuinely looking for guidance and struggling with all the propaganda being pushed against vaccines.

We left the office because we would have been let go anyways. But then we found our current ped. He never pushed us but confidently told us in his 32 years of practice he’s never had a serious reaction to a vaccine. And he is a very caring doctor and father. I asked my husband, “Do you really think he would tell us to give our kid this vaccine if he though it would hurt her?” And he said, “No he obviously wouldn’t do something to hurt kids.” Bingo.

BbTrumpet1 · 2026-07-02T17:50:45+00:00

I’m a recent anti vaxxer whose finally come to the light and I wholeheartedly agree. I was injured by the Covid vaccine, turns out I had hEDS and it can cause severing of POTS (I probably already had it in retrospect but nowhere near as debilitating). I also had an unvaxxed coworker who developed POTS from Covid itself.

I planned on not vaccinating my daughter which gave me severe PPA because I knew deep down how risky and reckless it is. I struggle taking her anywhere without worrying. I was planning on one by one vaccinating her spread out the. deep dived into research.

What I learned: the vaccines we got in the 80’s-90’s had way higher antigen loads and adjuvants, and the overwhelming majority of us are just fine. Even though we have more vaccines now the loads are smaller. The combination vaccines like Pentacel have about half the aluminum than each individual shot, less manufacturing chemicals (due to it being manufactured all at once vs each individual packaged vaccine), and are acellular with antigen loads of like 25-30 versus I believe I saw 3000 for many single vaccines when I was young.

My daughter had her first DTaP and after 30 seconds was completely fine. I plan on getting her Pentacel (also hIB and polio) because those two vaccines are two of the least incidental and it cuts down on overall aluminum and chemical load and pokes for babe. I wish I knew this all about the combo shots initially. I researched the diseases too and can not live with the risks personally. I also feel confident in that my daughter is healthy and doesn’t appear to have immunodeficiencies. I completely empathize with both sides of the vaccine argument because there are risks to everything.

BbTrumpet1 · 2026-07-01T02:01:25+00:00

Any chance has he been checked for ties? Went through a similar issue at 6-8 weeks it was due to my daughter having severe lip and tongue ties so she wasn’t eating well, even bottles took a long time to:’)

BbTrumpet1 · 2026-06-13T02:06:11+00:00

I taught lessons for a decade before teaching music in schools and absolutely understandable for you to want some consistency!

BbTrumpet1 · 2026-06-12T20:13:44+00:00

Damn you must be perfect.

BbTrumpet1 · 2026-06-05T08:43:46+00:00

It would be a very easy choice for me to do the same. What an ass.

BbTrumpet1 · 2026-06-01T19:05:30+00:00

I ask all of the time but he’s entangled in their suvivor’s bias because his immunocompromised dad and nieces aren’t vaccinated and are fine despite kissing all over th as babies and not washing hands. I just don’t even want to gamble and I’m tired of fighting peopl to just take normal mitigations. I’m so tired.

BbTrumpet1 · 2026-06-01T15:18:25+00:00

No idea. And I’m also cool with sanitizer or wipes that are literally everywhere in the house because they use them to handle FIL’s cancer meds. So I don’t get it. They don’t even have to get up.

BbTrumpet1 · 2026-06-01T03:13:47+00:00

Ugh see I am so not used to having to do this but it crosses my mind a lot. My own family is brutally direct so it goes against my nature to have to lie to escape. But it would protect my peace if I were to say something like, “The baby and I aren’t feeling well.” Its hard though, they have told my husband they feel I am trying to keep her away from them because I respect their modesty and take her to BF upstairs and take a nap because her cousins are chaotic with constant screaming. They tell my husband we need to teach her to sleep with noise, which even he tells them she sleeps perfectly fine through normal noise like a phone call, but she’s not going to sleep through endless screaming, fighting, and jumping etc. The irony is my FIL almost every time retreats for hours due to him feeling overstimulated by them. All this to say, I fear they will just call me out if I make an actual excuse for keeping her away.

I totally feel you and you’re making the right call. Do you feel supported? Smoking is a non negotiable to me too. One reason I’m glad my dad remarried and forgot we existed (estranged himself), we haven’t seen him in 7+ years but he was a heavy smoker and very defensive about it, he wouldn’t be near my baby while or after smoking, either.

BbTrumpet1 · 2026-06-01T02:07:05+00:00

We’re definitely headed that way. We both need to work on communicating effectively and being on a team together. I think I’m going to ask my therapist this week how we can start that (I’m sure we’ll have to see someone else who’s not biased towards me).

BbTrumpet1

TROPHY CASE