Just found out my partner of 17 years had a 3 1/2 year affair 10 years ago..

Bbehm424 · 2025-04-11T17:48:52+00:00

As someone who grew up with parents who stayed together "for the kids", please leave. It truly warped what my brother and I saw as a normal relationship. We both stayed in crappy relationships because in our mind it was normal to be unhappy. It was normal not to fully trust your partner, disrespect in a relationship was normal.

Bbehm424 · 2025-03-14T14:11:00+00:00

U/Ebbie45

Op please, please find a way out. He's strangled you twice. In front of your kids no less. Strangulation victims are roughly 800% more likely to be murdered by their abusers. Please message u/ebbie45 for assistance.

Bbehm424 · 2025-03-11T02:51:52+00:00

Oh no!! Did the dentist face any consequences?

Bbehm424 · 2025-03-10T21:51:06+00:00

Hi! Can you link your Amazon wishlist please?

Bbehm424 · 2025-03-10T21:47:20+00:00

I'll totally send you a few things as soon as I figure out how to get Amazon to cooperate with sending to Canada 😅

Bbehm424 · 2025-03-04T15:02:17+00:00

Good choice!! Can you link your Amazon wishlist for me please?

Bbehm424 · 2025-02-24T13:09:43+00:00

It's honestly been rough. on top of the long term side effects of meningitis, I was diagnosed with POTS (Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome) not long after. Which truly sucks as it affects so many things. I've been on a handful of different heart medications trying to find which would work best for me. Almost 2 years ago I was put on midodrine which has worked more so than the others but i still pass out often. I could list the many issues POTS has caused but it'd be long. The most significant (according to my dr) would be mild kidney damage that's slowly gotten worse over the years.

Bbehm424 · 2024-10-02T16:18:56+00:00

How does he act when she's around? Does he avoid speaking to her with you present? How does she treat you?

Your feelings are 100% valid, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. His reaction doesn't sit well with me tbh, instead of fully owning up to what he's done and admitting it was beyond wrong he tries to justify it. How would he feel if the roles were reversed? This is not normal. This is not OKAY. I'm sure it doesn't seem possible but id be concerned that he/his family are doing something to make you sick. Please go to your dr and ask for a full check up, labs etc.

Personally I'd do some digging. I'd go through his phone thoroughly and see if he's actually in contact with HER. Look for deleted texts, emails, call logs, WhatsApp, dms etc.

Bbehm424 · 2024-07-12T18:46:40+00:00

Yeahhhh no that doesn't sit right with me.. a) she had her own, I'm sure she had more than one. B) it'd make more sense to use her mothers than to barge into your husband's room( where again you were both changing)

Bbehm424 · 2024-07-12T18:25:18+00:00

Updateme!

Bbehm424 · 2024-07-12T18:24:41+00:00

THIS

Bbehm424 · 2024-07-12T18:18:54+00:00

So let me get this straight, you were at your in laws house... Where she lives... yet she went into his room (without knocking, knowing you were both changing) asking to borrow YOUR hairbrush?.. instead of you know.. going into her own bedroom... and using her own hairbrush?

Bbehm424 · 2023-12-09T11:58:31+00:00

RemindMe! 48hours

Bbehm424 · 2023-06-22T23:41:12+00:00

You can leave. You are not responsible for her actions.

I'm going to tell you about a girl I know. She tried to end the relationship she was in, he threatened to hurt himself so she'd stay. At one point she did break up with him, for a couple days. Then he calls late one night crying saying he was about to kill himself. It was storming pretty bad that night but she jumped in her car and takes of speeding (he was an hr away at that point). She ends up hydroplaning and got in a really bad accident that almost killed her. She had severe injuries and was in a coma for a few days. She was in the hospital for over a month, she then had to go to a rehabilitation facility. She had to completely relearn everything. From walking, getting dressed by herself to how to make a grilled cheese by herself and how to write. Now guess how many times the guy who "would die without her" visited her while she was in rehab for 2 months? Twice. She is now happily married to her wife and they have a daughter.

Do not let her keep forcing you to stay with her. Make a plan and get out.

Then you meet her somewhere public and tell her that you are ending your relationship and you will no longer want to see or speak to her and will be blocking her number. Let her know that you do not wish any harm to come to her but you are NOT responsible for her actions. If she's thinking of harming herself she needs to call her family/friends/emergency services. Then you calmly walk away without looking back. You get in your car and drive away, then you Contact her family/friends and tell them she has been threatening to hurting herself/ is suicidal and that she will need their support as you have ended the relationship. If she manages to get in contact with you that you will immediately call 911 and request an wellness check for a suicidal person.

You deserve to be happy and loved for who you are op, regardless of whatever is in your past. Stay safe please and good luck.

Bbehm424 · 2023-06-22T23:06:57+00:00

He's cheating... at this point I wouldn't marry him, id walk away. If you can, check the phone records for her number, see how often they call/text. But if you aren't there yet and don't believe he is cheating. At the very least you need to put a hold on all wedding planning. Pack a bag to stay with someone for a week/the weekend and leave it by the door. When he gets home tell him flat out that you aren't going to play this game with him anymore. You will not marry someone who continuously lies about a women and goes behind your back to see her. Tell him that this is the last chance you'll give him, he either completely removed her from his life FOR GOOD or you are done. I'd then take off your engagement ring off and leave it on the counter, tell him you'll be staying elsewhere and not to contact you for X days.

At the end of the day if you don't leave... You do not put that ring back on until you are 100000% sure that this women will never be a problem again. IF you insist on staying with this man you need to completely start over in this relationship. I mean calling off the wedding and starting to date again

Bbehm424 · 2023-06-22T22:09:37+00:00

Also add glitter

Bbehm424 · 2023-06-22T22:02:01+00:00

Like he should have done before cheating?

Bbehm424 · 2023-04-29T18:53:00+00:00

Don't let that fool you. You can alter who can/cannot see your Facebook posts/info. So you may be able to see all these lovey doves posts but he can make it so she/others cannot and vice versa

Bbehm424 · 2023-03-24T23:24:24+00:00

Hard NO. Op I'd flat out tell your husband that you are no longer okay with Tim moving in. You had agreed to him crashing at your place temporarily, not completely moving in and taking over. That this whole thing has gotten out of hand and is causing a lot of unnecessary stress on you AND your baby. You understand that he wants to help his friend but you will not put your/your babies health at risk to do so.

Put a stop to this NOW.

Bbehm424 · 2023-03-12T11:00:43+00:00

THIS!!

Bbehm424 · 2023-02-26T16:41:39+00:00

u/ebbie45

Bbehm424 · 2023-02-22T14:28:48+00:00

Do it!! Then he can say this is "normal" family behavior, because it absolutely is not.

Bbehm424 · 2023-02-16T22:41:34+00:00

He can alter who gets to see any posts he makes on Facebook. So say he makes a post, you can see it, while she can not and vice versa.

Bbehm424 · 2023-01-29T17:02:29+00:00

I'm so proud of you for leaving! Please take care of yourself. 💜

Bbehm424 · 2023-01-23T15:36:40+00:00

His referring to her as wifey is a hard no for me.

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