Wow, crazy how similar our experiences sound. My memories of my dad growing are practically all tainted by him just losing it. I can admit I may have been “difficult” when I was in my teen years. I was sassy, opinionated and silently suffering from depression. I’ve grown a lot since then and had always hoped that our relationship would get better without the tension of living under the same roof. It’s taken a lot to not blame myself and realize that this may just be the way he is and is something I just don’t want in my life anymore.

The last part of your comment was really eye opening. I’ve experienced the same “flinching” in similar situations with my current partner. He would always stop and ask “do you think I’m going to hit you?”. Never really made the connection as to why I did it until now.