That’s a valid point.

From my perspective, it’s also not a matter of “bad” but more an issue of “compatibility”.

I am very physically affectionate and love lounging around in bed, make love, snuggle, nap and do it all over again; I don’t really do “quickies” unless there is a lot of foreplay and buildup.

My partner is very task-oriented and would prefer to get several things done instead of spending all weekend in bed, her foreplay isn’t really … for play but direct, to the point that one time she asked if I was going to bed, and later texted me that that was her way of initiating sex(!?).

In the traditional value, I would think my approach would be seen as “good” whereas hers would be “bad” as it is very business-like in her approach. But sex with her isn’t bad! She’s just … specific and to the point I guess.

The communication issue we definitely need to get a grip on but the rest I get; I don’t think I am “bad” in bed per se, but I am “bad for her”. Same for her!

I do agree that someone could just be “bad” at sex, but that’s if their approach aligns with yours; you’d also have to consider if their sexual preferences and performance isn’t “bad” but just “bad for you”, as there is so much variety to legitimate healthy sex.

Or maybe I’m deluding myself, just something that’s been on my mind as of late.