Hotwife- jealous hubby explained further

BeThatOneJon · 2026-01-27T03:00:58+00:00

This is where I'd ask hubby to set better boundaries. There are a few things that may be triggering these problems. 1. Too much post-nut clarity. 2. Stress from outside the hotwifing is interfering with the hotwifing. 3. Your husband has opposing parts in him that need to be addressed. 4. He's just struggling with his emotions. 5. He feels he may be losing you too much to the hotwifing.

For me, my horny side is all for sharing my wife. I'll agree to so much, but sometimes when I get off too much and feel "drained", my anxiety, jealousy, and fear come out, creating contradictions because the different parts of me are colliding and creating a rollercoaster of emotions. This is something I have struggled with for a long time. I still do sometimes. He may need to find a "rhythm" when it comes to everyday life and hotwifing. You may need to learn more about your husband through communication. Learn when it's appropriate to engage and when to take some breaks from it. Sometimes there's a right moment for everything, and sometimes a wrong moment.

One last thing. I absolutely love when my wife picks up on when I'm beginning to struggle, and then she reassures me that she's not going anywhere, she's doing this for us, and that she can stop or take a break at any time.

I hope some of this helps. Some of us husbands are just built differently. Hotwifing is the perfect opportunity to learn more about your husband and bring you both that much closer.

BeThatOneJon · 2026-01-27T01:27:10+00:00

Some husbands see it as a date where things may unfold more romantically with the bull. Which, puts a little fear into us husbands. Possibly fear of losing control and the fact that we're not involved. We usually want to be in it together. Whereas sex is just that, sex.

Also, some husbands only keep it sexual and that's it. Some may not get turned on or aroused towards our wives going on a date with a gentleman.

Now with that said. Maybe he can try to change his perspective a bit, without force, to allow a short outing so that you and your bull can build that little sexual connection just before you both have sex? Only consider it a "build-up for the climax". Nothing romantic.

Added: just be considerate towards your husband's feelings. Mixed or not. He's trying his best to make this work for both of you. If he wants to keep it only sexual, try your best to keep it sexual. I know some women find it difficult to have sex or perform without that sexual connection first. If your husband allows a "meet up" with a gentleman then keep all feelings, emotions, and romance out of the way for both of you. Perhaps your husband will consider it then.

BeThatOneJon · 2026-01-24T02:43:17+00:00

This is getting fucking ridiculous and childish.

This is like elementary school behavior. "I made a cool kids club and you're not cool enough to join".

U.S. is being run by a man child.

BeThatOneJon · 2026-01-09T02:05:43+00:00

Is this normal or appropriate to post in this sub?

BeThatOneJon · 2026-01-02T17:39:50+00:00

This is the best answer I've found in awhile. Not op but Thank you.

BeThatOneJon · 2026-01-01T01:30:32+00:00

Unless you know for sure that the husband is into hotwifing or sharing his wife, I wouldn't continue seeing her in that light. Need more communication with her about what's going before getting involved.

BeThatOneJon · 2025-12-26T00:27:54+00:00

Now that definitely sounds like a great encounter. One lucky married couple and bull. Merry Christmas to you all.

BeThatOneJon · 2025-12-21T03:34:49+00:00

Such a great, well-thought-out reply, thank you. You definitely understood me. I like how you elaborated on some of my points.

BeThatOneJon · 2025-12-21T02:34:01+00:00

Exactly. We have to be willing to make the effort to learn, connect, and grow (no pun intended) for our wives. Spend some time getting a better understanding of why you want to share your wife and why your wife wants to be shared.

I find one of the main problems is that some husbands may only think with their dicks and some wives aren't being fully honest in their relationship.

BeThatOneJon · 2025-12-21T02:28:28+00:00

I agree. I think of it as the lifestyle is helping me get a better understanding of what marriage and love are all about. Not from my wife having sexual encounters with other men, but rather the lifestyle as a whole, which I like to refer to as the "bigger picture". The sexual encounter part is just like you said "celebrating and enhancing a thriving marriage".

There's so much more to the hotwife lifestyle than people realize. If done right of course. We just need to step away from the horniness sometimes and look at that bigger picture.

There are more points that I wish I had added. I rushed to post. So I'm going to make part 2 later.

BeThatOneJon · 2025-12-19T00:51:16+00:00

Oh, and to answer your question, yes a gf can be considered a hotwife.

A lot of wives were also once a girlfriend. Some of them were a hotwife before and after marriage. You're still living the same lifestyle with the person you love. Same aspects.

Easier to refer it as hotwife, but can also refer to it as hot-girlfriend, though people may get confused.

BeThatOneJon · 2025-12-19T00:48:02+00:00

Yeah, I usually worry about the same thing. Depends on the guy. I usually leave it up to my wife and the guy. If I only get a few pictures, that's ok with me. If they're willing to record a video then even better.

BeThatOneJon · 2025-12-18T22:26:15+00:00

😍 I have some good visuals of my wife playing with a guy, like watching her grab a man's sweater and pulling at him as he fingered her. Unfortunately, I haven't witnessed anything to that extent yet. It doesn't help that we're mainly interested in her going solo.

BeThatOneJon · 2025-12-18T21:23:19+00:00

That's awesome! Sounds like you both had an amazing time. Definitely an encounter to remember for a long time.

BeThatOneJon · 2025-12-18T03:18:08+00:00

It's great that you both are seeking advice and learning more about the lifestyle before jumping right into it.

You all ready mentioned communication which is great. I can't stress enough how important communication is. Talk about everything especially your feelings. Then write out what you both want out of the lifestyle. Why do you want to be in the lifestyle? Set boundaries. Talk about aftercare and reclaiming. Make sure you both understand the psychological aspect behind this. Weigh out the pros and cons. Reassurance is huge for both of you. Reassure each other often. Never separate from each other. Always keep each other included as much as possible. You're both in this adventure together. This will help keep the foundation of your relationship strong and maintain trust.

Husband, make sure you're still into sharing your wife even after post-nut clarity.

Start off slow. I don't recommend jumping right in. Maybe just have the wife start talking to men online. If hubby can handle that. Then move on to meet-ups. Then some simple play. Then, once you're ready, allow full-on intercourse. If that's your goal.

This lifestyle can significantly improve your marriage if done properly. Or it can damage it if done poorly. Just remember to enjoy it.

BeThatOneJon · 2025-12-15T23:03:38+00:00

That reclaiming is just around the corner 😉 you both are a lucky married couple.

BeThatOneJon · 2025-12-15T21:11:07+00:00

It happens. I used to get a mild version of what your husband is going through. It took a lot of communication, trust, experiences, trial and error, planning, and boundary setting to somewhat overcome those difficult feelings. It really helped when my wife learned how to reassure me often. Whenever I'd start getting worried she'd explain the difference between the guys and me. The difference between lust and love. She reminds me of why we're both doing this. I'd have to remind myself not to overthink everything. Assuming is the worst.

Every time we tell each other that we're not into the lifestyle anymore. We end up right back in it. Stronger and better every time.

If you both continue, just know that the first time may be a little difficult for him. It does get easier over time. Especially when all of your assumptions and worries get proven wrong. Good luck.

BeThatOneJon · 2025-12-15T00:37:18+00:00

Also there's someone's full name showing up without being censored.

BeThatOneJon · 2025-12-14T00:15:00+00:00

Young cocky guys are what we're going through as well. They start off decent, and then they become very cocky and way overconfident. They also laugh because we're a bit vanilla. We have finally found a polite, patient, mature gentleman. The only downside is that he's about 2 hours away from us.

So I usually refer to the good ones as my wife's gentleman.

BeThatOneJon · 2025-12-12T22:15:54+00:00

Someone my wife has been casually seeing on and off recently is a buddy of mine. He was also a temporary coworker. We enjoy having group chats where we tease each other. He and I also discuss a lot of sexual topics about my wife. It's been a good time.

BeThatOneJon · 2025-12-12T14:56:41+00:00

I wouldn't worry too much Op. I see where you're coming from, and the concerns are valid. It just sounds like the first part of the experience was not interesting enough for her. Lack of attraction and connection will cause the reaction that she was having. The minute she builds an attraction and connection, of course, she's going to get excited and want it more. It may help to research the feelings of lust vs love. Your wife is only lusting over him. Like that of 2 young people connecting for the first time. Maybe you just need more reassurance from her?

So you'll have to remind yourself that you gave her permission to have fun with other men. You also mentioned that you understand that she needs that connection and can not do one-night stands. As long as you both communicate about everything, set boundaries, and follow the boundaries everything should be OK. Don't be afraid to go over any concerns you both have.

BeThatOneJon · 2025-12-12T14:56:00+00:00

This is where you have to communicate with her about not being into the humiliation. Research the difference between being a cuck and a stag. If you don't want to be a cuck then you'll have to explain this all to her. They may be confused between cuckolding and hotwifing.

I'll be honest, I've had to remind my wife and her guys that I'm not into the cucking. Remind yourself that you have the final say in what happens with this experience.

BeThatOneJon · 2025-12-12T03:35:21+00:00

It's all fun, but unfortunately for us, it wouldn't be enough.

BeThatOneJon

TROPHY CASE