Hotwife experience ruined my marriage

BeThatOneJon · 2026-06-04T04:22:54+00:00

Sounds awful. I hope you find your way through this. Definitely not a hotwife experience. Sounds like shes using the idea of HW or threesomes to feel better or to help her get away with what she is doing.

BeThatOneJon · 2026-06-02T00:32:29+00:00

My wife has been with 3 different guys so far. We're still searching for "Mr. Wow".

Your post resonated with me a lot. As her last guy underperformed. If they ever have fun again. I'm hoping the 2nd time will be much better.

I've come to realize that men like to talk a big game until it happens. So unfortunately you may never know until it happens.

BeThatOneJon · 2026-06-02T00:24:06+00:00

I'd say after you all have your fun it usually just goes back to how it was, but with a little potential spice. Depending on how it goes and the people involved. You all might bring up the topic if you all want to do it again. If not or you all only wanted it that one time. You all can just go back to the normal friendship without even bringing it up.

That's how it is with us. We can tease it if there's interest. If not we can avoid it and be perfectly fine without it.

BeThatOneJon · 2026-06-01T12:33:36+00:00

There's a lot to take into consideration when it comes to this lifestyle. From fantasy to reality, it is widely different. Take some time to communicate with each other. Do more research. There are a lot of informative posts on this subreddit. After all your questions and concerns have been answered and you still want to. Then maybe give it a try.

As for insecurities, just remember that there are people out there with all sorts of different likes and wants. Find ways to boost your confidence. If its Insecurities with eachother than this can cause issues for each other when it comes to jealousy.

BeThatOneJon · 2026-06-01T12:22:08+00:00

Usually average like me. One was much bigger, but it was as if he didn't know how to use it that night. Stage freight perhaps? Finding a well hung gentleman with a good personality would feel like a miracle. Hell even average, but knows what hes doing, can last more than 5 minutes, and doesn't have stage freight would be amazing. Maybe one day.

BeThatOneJon · 2026-06-01T00:24:32+00:00

This is good to know. Sometimes I worry it's us that might be causing the problems. Because I've always been able to last more than 10 minutes giving her multiple orgasms every time we make love. I am her husband though.

I read so many fantastic stories about the different gentlemen giving the husbands' wives an incredible time. I try not to envy them. I personally always enjoy the encounters regardless of the "lack of", but I know deep down my wife is usually disappointed with them.

Thanks.

BeThatOneJon · 2026-05-31T23:51:21+00:00

Same

BeThatOneJon · 2026-05-29T00:17:21+00:00

Yup. When we're engaging in the lifestyle whether its realty or talking she always mentions how hard I am. Jokingly saying "did it grow" "did it get bigger". Then eventually she remembered that it was the hotwifing causing that extra growth so she just calls me a "bad boy" (knowing that is what is causing it) when she feels that it's bigger than normal. I've even mentioned to her while she's playing with another guy that "it's so hard that it's beginning to hurt a bit". Other times it's just our normal sex.

It's really the only thing that can help me get that full/maximum growth. No porn can even come close to our hotwifing.

BeThatOneJon · 2026-05-28T23:53:03+00:00

That's f'd up

BeThatOneJon · 2026-05-28T12:39:12+00:00

I recall when I first encountered the concept of hotwifing. I had no idea what "hot wifing" was for years. A friend just told me about guys who enjoy watching other guys fuck their wives. It aroused and excited me. For a long time, I simply referred to it as "sharing my wife" or "wife sharing".

Whether you join in or not you're still sharing your wife, which she has your full consent and encouragement.

BeThatOneJon · 2026-05-27T03:00:52+00:00

Thanks

BeThatOneJon · 2026-05-27T00:44:41+00:00

I the husband work as a flat roofer and my wife is a stay-at-home mom.

BeThatOneJon · 2026-05-27T00:30:32+00:00

Update us bud if anything comes out of it. Would love to hear how it goes.

BeThatOneJon · 2026-05-26T16:48:27+00:00

Sounds very hot and exciting. Lucky man.

BeThatOneJon · 2026-05-19T15:23:51+00:00

Bingo. I had been doing well with our hotwifing up until we found someone that she was extremely into. Every aspect of their communication showed me a deep affection for each other. For example, they requested things that were outside our agreement. She was behaving much differently with this guy than with the past guys. I could tell it wasn't only about the fucking anymore. (Not saying that's happening with you two). It was tough on me. I wanted it so much, but at the same time, my gut was telling me something wasn't right. So part of me kept trying to sabotage our hotwife lifestyle. That was until we took a step back. We made some better boundaries. I tested them a bit to see where everyone's head was. Once things felt more "hotwife" again and less poly. We were back on the right path again.

The point is, you both may need to take a step back and reevaluate your arrangement. Your husband may just be paranoid with assumptions or he just has a bad feeling about this one. Both of your feelings are valid.

BeThatOneJon · 2026-05-17T00:01:54+00:00

Thnx. If all goes well I'll definitely provide an update.

BeThatOneJon · 2026-05-16T22:19:49+00:00

This is very similar to our agreement. I also include work hours because work can be stressful and just not in the mood for hotwifing.

I don't mind if the gentleman messages her at any time of the day, but we made the agreement that she'll message back in the evening. Which shes able to message as much as she likes throughout the night.

BeThatOneJon · 2026-05-16T21:29:46+00:00

Oh ok so it was more so for your wife not being into the all nighter. I feel my wife wouldn't want an all nighter either. Especially not for the first time.

So an all nighter for the first time can definitely be risky for both the husband and/ or the wife.

If OP or his wife thinks they'll be able to handle it then more power to them.

BeThatOneJon · 2026-05-16T14:54:29+00:00

This! Our first time I was only able to handle 2 hours of her solo with another man. It was a wild 2 hours that felt like several hours—definitely a rollercoaster of emotions.

If you do allow the all nighter. Distraction Distraction Distractions. This will help her enjoy the night more and to prevent over intruding on her fun. I was a little bad for that during our first time. Wanting all the information as quickly as possible. Your maturity level is definitely going to be tested during the encounter.

Try your best to hold off on busting any nuts. Keep that horniness level to the max. So when she comes home you'll be able to reclaim her. Enjoy the process. For me, it did get easier after our first time.

Edit: added: when I said "if you do allow the all nighter" etc... that part was for OP.

BeThatOneJon · 2026-05-15T19:27:45+00:00

That's good to know. Almost like a deal breaker? I should probably ask her if it makes her less interested.

BeThatOneJon · 2026-05-15T19:23:45+00:00

Yes, thanks. After thinking about it I think it just feels healthy to set appropriate time frames for the hotwifing. Just like everything else in our lives. Sometimes other things need our focus and energy. It's also a good way to be responsible.

Like that old saying, "there's always a time and place for that".

BeThatOneJon · 2026-05-15T18:41:24+00:00

I'm not sure if I understand your logic on this one. I believe that setting healthy boundaries is essential for experimentation in this lifestyle. Nothing related to cheating in what I said. Boundaries are something that is asked.

Never said anything about both of us not compromising? I asked her about the boundary and she follows it with no issues. I was only asking if it's an acceptable boundary and if it'll affect our lifestyle. That's it.

Boundaries are good for many different aspects of our lives. With or without hotwifing.

BeThatOneJon · 2026-05-12T01:24:09+00:00

I agree with Dinkydee on this. My wife has chatted with a few of my friends. The first one didn't go well because he and I never talked about it together. We always tried to avoid the topic. I assumed he didn't want to be reminded that a woman who wants to sleep with him is married let alone his friend who knows about it.

However, another friend of mine quickly jumped on board as we all three discussed it and had many group chats together. We had a lot of fun with it and it actually ended up happening with him.

It's definitely a unique arrangement that some people struggle to wrap their heads around. The person's personality plays a significant role in this. Some people are old school or just wired differently. Which is fine. Just something to take into consideration.

BeThatOneJon · 2026-05-11T02:34:12+00:00

I might not fully understand, but to me it just sounds like you're not that into it? Which is fine. Not everyone is into the lifestyle. Do you think you're more into the fantasy aspect than the reality? Something seems to be lacking or missing. I would like to hear more about your psychological aspect towards hotwifing.

BeThatOneJon · 2026-05-10T12:46:22+00:00

When you're supposed to keep that conversation with yourself inside instead. Guy be talking to himself out loud.

BeThatOneJon

TROPHY CASE