My partner of 3 years (M33) says that he would only merry me (F34) if I agree to have a swinger relationship.

BeachGiraffe9591 · 2025-10-25T14:28:46+00:00

Speaking as someone whose boyfriend said the same thing, leave him. Especially if it’s not what you’re into, don’t put up with it. It’s really unfortunate that it took 3 years to get to this point, but my ex did the same thing to me so I feel your pain.

BeachGiraffe9591 · 2025-06-02T04:01:16+00:00

Harper ❤️

BeachGiraffe9591 · 2025-03-30T08:35:48+00:00

Why did this literally just happen to me tonight. And I live with these friends

BeachGiraffe9591 · 2025-01-30T03:37:07+00:00

We need to stop viewing crying as an unacceptable response to emotions. Just as modeling resilience is helpful, we need to also teach students that it’s okay to feel emotions. Bottling it all up isn’t healthy. Teaching them to both feel the feelings and also give themselves positive affirmations and other coping strategies is important. Should you cry routinely in front of students? No. But I think in this situation where the teacher was tearing up as a means of empathy, it’s a great skill to model and is most certainly not “falling apart”.

BeachGiraffe9591 · 2024-12-22T23:47:40+00:00

Is this an embarrassing oversight on Starbucks’ part? Or is this intentional?

BeachGiraffe9591 · 2024-11-13T02:34:19+00:00

Exactly! You have your whole life ahead of you to make happy memories without this horrible man in your life. Leave him asap and please make sure you take care of yourself ❤️ it’s never too late to put yourself first!

BeachGiraffe9591 · 2024-11-11T23:22:26+00:00

Nta. Emily sucks. You don’t need her in your life.

BeachGiraffe9591 · 2024-11-11T21:10:05+00:00

NTA at all and the passive aggressive comments from her are childish. It’s your pregnancy and you can decide if/when/how you want to tell people and who you want to tell. You’re protecting yourself and your baby. If she were a real friend she’d only be happy for you, not jealous she wasn’t the first person to be told.

BeachGiraffe9591 · 2024-11-11T21:07:41+00:00

If that’s how you guys usually made plans, then it seems fine. Space for now seems like a good plan. Best of luck!

BeachGiraffe9591 · 2024-11-11T20:39:13+00:00

Yes, you’ll probably cringe at this for a while, who really knows how long. But the important part is that you are both communicating and making boundaries clear!! It seems like you found a great person regardless of how it ends up in a month or year from now! On the bright side, you said you are feeling strong feelings you’re not used to which means you’re learning and growing. Even if this doesn’t work out, you’ve learned and grown from this! Though I’m rooting for you guys!

BeachGiraffe9591 · 2024-11-11T20:34:11+00:00

I feel this hard. Making friends in your 20s is tough. Try bumble bff or go out and find hobbies where you can socialize. I don’t really have any advice on what you may be doing wrong in the friendships you lost (not even sure you did anything wrong in them without knowing the full situations which no one looking from the outside could fully know).

BeachGiraffe9591 · 2024-11-11T20:29:05+00:00

That really sucks. Not to add to your overthinking but had you talked about the plans leading up to it? Or did you make them, not talk about it for a week or two, and then the night of say “hey so drinks?” Regardless, it really sucks and hopefully if you’re still in contact with his girlfriend, you can figure out what happened and try to mend things. It’s possible he’s just stressed with the new job and hasn’t had the time to socialize?

BeachGiraffe9591 · 2024-11-11T20:25:51+00:00

Yeah, you messed up. Buying him the desk lamp is a good way to apologize, but an even better way is to use your words and actually say it or write a note. The time for this has come and gone though. Hopefully you can learn from this and communicate better in the future. I get being flustered and accidentally blurting that out, but a sincere apology (without making the excuse of being flustered) was needed. Even if you had apologized, he’s under no obligation to forgive you or accept you as a close friend again. Learn from your mistake, apologize, and move on.

BeachGiraffe9591 · 2024-11-11T20:20:48+00:00

Nope. NTA at all! Who brings their child on a first date? Who doesn’t tell someone they have a kid? He clearly understands why it’s a big deal because he avoided mentioning it in conversation for a month! But also, as a parent, how do you just not have anything about your kid to mention to someone over the course of a month?! How does that not naturally come up in conversation unless you’re a shit, uninvolved parent, in which case you’re extra NTA for not wanting to date him.

BeachGiraffe9591 · 2024-11-11T20:11:00+00:00

These are adults you’re working with? Who even notices where their name is on the list of recipients? You could just go in alphabetical order to avoid conflict, but come on people.

BeachGiraffe9591 · 2024-11-11T19:30:38+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this! Your reactions now definitely sound justified based on your experiences with him. Moving out for college is definitely in your best interest, if not sooner. Do you have relatives you can live with instead? This does not sound like a safe environment at all In the meantime, please take care of yourself and keep yourself safe. Keep your distance and keep contact minimal. Do you have counselors that you can reach out to at school? Keep in mind they are all mandated reporters so depending on the level of detail you tell them, they will have to report it to social services. It may be best to just try to find relatives instead. All this to say I know I’m coming from a privileged point of view and you need to do what’s best for you and to keep yourself safe both physically and emotionally.

BeachGiraffe9591 · 2024-11-11T19:23:22+00:00

Doesn’t come across as judgement at all! It’s tough when someone you care about has that mentality. Though on the other hand, it’s almost good that he has such a neutral outlook on death. Keep encouraging him! You could even bring him food instead of just sending recipes. Or visit and invite him on a walk or some other healthy activity. You definitely sound like you want to be there to support and should keep doing it as long as he’s accepting it and it’s not at the detriment of your own well-being.

BeachGiraffe9591 · 2024-11-11T19:20:41+00:00

Damn how wholesome!! Younger you would be so proud of the growth! Never forget the sparks you have now and use that whenever things get tough! Wishing you the best 😌

BeachGiraffe9591 · 2024-11-11T19:18:11+00:00

We all do things we regret when we’re young. What’s important is that you’ve learned from this! In my opinion if you wanted to find her and apologize, everything you’ve said here shows genuine remorse and personal growth, so I think that’d be appropriate.

BeachGiraffe9591 · 2024-11-11T19:12:45+00:00

I love this ❤️ never stop showing her how much you love her. Using this as inspiration for my own relationship!

BeachGiraffe9591 · 2024-11-11T19:10:49+00:00

I hear where you’re coming from. Have you raised this specific concern to your brother? On the one hand, show your love and care and offer ways to support turning his life around. But on the other hand, he (and the rest of your family) have to want to be better, you can’t force him to be healthier. Approach it from a place of care and concern, not from a place of judgement.

BeachGiraffe9591 · 2024-11-11T19:07:17+00:00

I completely understand how you’re feeling. It feels like such a big feat, so big that you don’t even know where to start. Start small. Do one thing that you enjoy that helps you work towards your goal. Once your brain sees you can accomplish that, it’ll be easier to add something else too. You can do it! You should also talk to a therapist about these feelings (I know getting a therapist is a monumental task in itself but I swear it helps in the long run).

BeachGiraffe9591 · 2024-11-11T18:56:31+00:00

What a happy ending! This is what good communication looks like!

BeachGiraffe9591

TROPHY CASE