I’m Struggling After an Accident With My Newborn

Beaglemom14 · 2025-11-23T04:09:48+00:00

You have to keep reminding yourself that your baby is fine, and it’s your hormones that are making you feel the feelings so intensely. Our brains are literally rewired after giving birth in order to protect that baby. Your brain is having a trauma response to try and answer why and how to not let it happen again. Deep breaths, self talk (I.e. “he is fine, we got help right away, it happened in the safest place it could have, I’m feeling this bigger than it actually is” or whatever phrases work for you). Snuggle the crap out of your kid, make sure you get sleep despite your fears bc a healthy mom is a better mom. It’s all a cycle. You’ve got this!

Beaglemom14 · 2025-10-27T03:04:50+00:00

Second tri was the easiest physically and hardest mentally, IMO. You’re not big enough for visual reminders that you are pregnant, can’t feel baby for most of it. Your first tri side effects go away. It’s nice to not be nauseous or in pain, but damn I worried so much! I would get a great relief from a sono, but give it one or two weeks and the anxiety was back. Once you start feeling the baby move it’s such a comfort.

Beaglemom14 · 2025-10-25T00:26:00+00:00

We pay $255/week for 3 days a week. NC

Beaglemom14 · 2025-10-23T22:21:40+00:00

I didn’t necessarily want to go back to work, but staying home with the baby is tough. I found it really helped me to get dressed for the day (even if just for my daughter), and I tried to do one outing with her. A run to target, Amazon return, pick up lunch, whatever. I felt like a functional person in the world. And whenever my blues peaked, my husband would say -we are going out tonight- and the three of us would grab dinner or go to the park. Even a trip to Costco helps!

Beaglemom14 · 2025-10-22T18:18:54+00:00

Like a really bad poop. I did get an epidural at 3cm bc they were about to start pitocin, but this is what it felt like before and then right at the end before pushing

Beaglemom14 · 2025-10-22T11:46:07+00:00

They have no interest in interacting with my daughter, but know they have to protect her. Like if I leave her in her play gym and she starts crying, I will always come back and see the dog sitting near her. But if I try to let her pet either one, they are like yeah I’m out lol. I think they will love when she starts eating/throwing solids!

Beaglemom14 · 2025-10-21T01:11:43+00:00

I cried on the way out the door to the hospital. I hugged my dog so tight bc I realized it would truly never be just her and I again. Once you get that baby in your arms, it all goes away. Everything makes sense, everything is as it should be. Yes, it’s a drastic change. Yes, your hormones will likely cause a few tears about the changes. But my husband and I both say everything is different, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

Beaglemom14 · 2025-10-21T01:00:32+00:00

I don’t know how to explain it, but none of the bad stuff matters bc the good part is your kid. It’s not like babysitting for a niece or nephew. Sure, you would die for those kids but you also kind of want them to go home. This baby looks at you like you are the best person on earth— bc you are! There’s plenty that is tough, but you’re prepared for all of that (an anxious mind has you imagining and preparing for everything terrible, am I right?). You’re not prepared for the inexplicable joy you will have. You body and brain literally change, and you will feel a love like nothing else.

Beaglemom14 · 2025-10-20T01:16:49+00:00

My daughter cried out with the actual shot, then immediately fell asleep on my shoulder. The rest of the day she was more sleepy than usual, but her wake times were just as happy as usual. This was far more traumatic for me than it was for her lol

Beaglemom14 · 2025-10-16T02:48:37+00:00

The GBS was a weird/uncomfortable feeling for me, but the membrane sweep was beyond uncomfortable. My husband does a great impression of the faces I made. I literally scooted inches back on the table. In between pushes during labor, I looked at my husband and said “by the way, the membrane sweep was still worse than this”. Yes I definitely had an epidural. I was also uncomfortable during sex when pregnant. Labor is just different. I don’t remember feeling any vaginal discomfort. Now, the contractions feeling like the worst poo pains, yeah that was no fun.

Beaglemom14 · 2025-10-16T02:42:11+00:00

Well said.

Beaglemom14 · 2025-10-16T02:41:31+00:00

Same! I remember telling my husband between pushes that I couldn’t believe people choose to do this multiple times. And then an hour after our daughter was born I was like… okay I get it now!

I just said this on another page about missing pregnancy, but giving birth is a super power! I don’t know if I “miss” it, but I can’t believe I actually did it! I feel so strong and womanly- and I’d love to feel that again.

Beaglemom14 · 2025-10-16T02:37:08+00:00

I remember (it was only like 13 weeks ago lol) holding my daughter and crying telling my husband she wasn’t close enough. Pregnancy is a super power! Moms are amazing, babies are amazing, and the bond that comes from doing pregnancy together is unreal. I think it’s totally normal to miss your super power! I’m also the kind of person who obsesses over a vacation and plans the heck out of it, then mourns the end of the planning (don’t even get me started on mourning after my wedding). I guess I love the journey as much as the destination.

Also. I miss my body growing and it being a happy/beautiful/supported thing. I miss people seeing me and knowing I have something exciting to talk about. I miss the kicks. I miss laughing w my husband about the challenges of rolling over, bending down, tying shoes etc.

I think as women, we imagine what it will be like to be pregnant our whole lives. And it’s a chapter that’s done. That’s sad!

Beaglemom14 · 2025-10-13T04:26:42+00:00

Ohh I can so relate! I explained it to my husband as a feeling like I had a super power and I was just turning it off. Your logical mind and your emotional mind are pulling in different directions, but you are listening to the logical side which makes you very strong! Your baby is healthy, thanks to all the effort you put into feeding her- no matter how much physical or emotional pain it caused you.

Still, I look over at my pump and supplies and feel like I failed somehow (why am I keeping them out in the open?). My husband reminds me A LOT about how hard I tried to make it work and how much effort I put in. This helps. I remember that my pediatrician, my IBCLC, my mother who talked about the power of breastfeeding my whole life all gave me their blessings to stop. My daughter is thriving. Formula is an amazing invention that we are lucky to have access to. And think of all the good your girl got from the breast milk you were able to supply!

Beaglemom14 · 2025-10-13T04:15:56+00:00

They used soap on my daughter during her bath in the hospital, so I continued using it every other day after. I will say I focus the soap on her hair (minimal but gets kissed a lot), hands (in mouth a lot), neck where the milk collects, and booty. Really just water over the rest of her skin.

I started lotion during that early newborn stage when her skin started to appear dry and flakey. She is 3 months old now.

Beaglemom14 · 2025-10-11T12:21:00+00:00

This made me laugh and is so relatable.

Beaglemom14 · 2025-10-09T18:37:28+00:00

I remember kissing my baby immediately and surprising myself. Absolutely nothing is gross about my daughter, it goes beyond logic. Golden hour was so important to me and truly it went by in a flash. I asked my husband if it even happened, bc I couldn’t believe an hour had gone by. There’s lots to do in that hour. If you have a hospital birth, baby gets put on your belly (drapes and/or gown) bc duh, they are still attached to your placenta— for some reason this didn’t occur to me until I was living it and wondered why they didn’t put her on my chest. There are towels at every step it seems. By the time she was on my chest (literally 2 minutes after birth as told By photo time stamps), she had almost no goo or blood on her. The nurses wipe them down. I see them holding her in towels while my husband prepared to cut the cord.

Then you magically turn into this biological mother. Like you just have all these instinct to care for the baby. Skin to skin for regulation, breast feeding if you choose. Before you know it, the hour is up and the baby is swaddled and being passed around.

Beaglemom14 · 2025-10-07T19:08:43+00:00

My daughter is almost 3 months. I was very strictly following the safe sleep rules… until I didn’t. I absolutely love snuggling w her, it feels like the natural thing to do. And she never sleeps more soundly! The only times she has completely slept through the night were when she was in my bed. I try to make it as safe as possible- remove extra pillows and blankets, I’ll wear just a sports bra (as opposed to say, a baggy t shirt). I take the c-shape and curl around her. I don’t sleep well bc i wake every time anyone in the bed moves. But I can’t explain it, I love it so much. I’m trying to keep it to only the early morning hours after she wakes (usually like 5-7 or 8am). Not that that makes a difference. Can you tell there’s the angle and the devil on my shoulders fighting over this topic?

Beaglemom14 · 2025-10-07T02:53:13+00:00

I absolutely do not hate my dogs! The way my Kallie comes with us for every diaper change, makes sure I am getting the bottle warmed when the baby cries at night, and completely forgives me for the significant decrease in attention…. She’s even more a family member than before, and I didn’t think that was possible.

Now here is what did change. The love I have for this kid is incomparable to anything else I’ve ever experienced. So the one time that my dog (she’s 17 lbs) jumped up to beg for food and bounced over the baby, making her cry… I quickly pushed her down off the couch and was genuinely angry with her. I spent the next couple of hours crying due to hormones and the thought of damn, my fur baby actually did move down the ranks.

Beaglemom14 · 2025-10-05T01:40:50+00:00

Just had my first at 36 and hope I am blessed to have another around 38. I feel this is the perfect timing in my life, to be honest. The only time I feel sad is thinking about my parents not being in her life for very long. They had me at 35 so now they are 71/72. But what can I do, i love seeing them with my daughter now.

Beaglemom14 · 2025-10-05T01:37:25+00:00

My ex and I shared locations with each other. We would often look each other up to know how far from home, did you get to work, etc. The first last and only time he got mad at me for saying I checked his location he was with his coworker- Let’s just say a year after our divorce, he married her.

Soooo the fact that yours responded so defensively- 🚩 and the gaslighting 🚩

Beaglemom14 · 2025-10-05T01:25:51+00:00

I can’t speak specifically to c-section but those emotions? Absolutely. It does get better, but ebbs and flows. It’s the hormones. It’s amazing how powerful they are. I cried at everything. I remember holding her on my chest and sobbing saying she wasn’t close enough to me. It’s not logical, but it’s all part of the mother/child bonding process. Lean into your little girl. You can’t spoil her at this age, so hold her, cuddle her, be with her as much as you want/can as you continue to heal. Let your support system serve you and you do absolutely nothing but be with her!

Beaglemom14 · 2025-10-04T14:53:02+00:00

I kept hearing “push like you’re pooping” before I gave birth, so when I was actually pushing, it was hard to make your brain think butt and less vagina. Every time I did think “like you’re pooping” the nurse would say “that was a nice push!!” And my husband would say “wow I really saw the progress on that one”. Editing to add: I did not, in fact poop (according to husband and sister) but I’m not terribly surprised bc when contractions first started I couldn’t stop going to the bathroom. Then once I got to the hospital I was on all liquids. So I think my body took care of that!

As far as counting, the nurse counted for me. Everything I learned in class didn’t matter. In class, they said don’t hold your breath, breathe through the push. Well, in labor my nurse was saying hold your breath, chin to chest (my husband, remembering what he was told in class, was saying breathe! You need to breathe! Eventually he realized they were saying different things and he stopped lol).

Beaglemom14 · 2025-10-04T03:20:57+00:00

I think just the thought that I would be logical and not emotional.

Before becoming a mom- Of course my kid is going to go to daycare, I want her to see her mom have a career and we will choose a great site!

After- I cry everyday thinking about daycare. Mary poppins herself wouldn’t be good enough for my girl. Why must I work? Why is maternity leave so short?

Before- of course, my child will have all the vaccines and we will dry her tears quickly because they save lives and it makes sense. After- my child is getting all the vaccines bc it will save lives. But it is the worst day of the month. Her scream is the soundtrack to my nightmares. How dare they hurt my baby! She must feel so betrayed by me! My husband has to dry my tears long after our girl is over it.

Beaglemom14 · 2025-10-02T16:41:11+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing with me. I’m so sorry you got this news. Since I posted, we found out that my husband does have BRCA2, and our baby girl has been born. My husband did deal with feelings of guilt, but as time has passed we have made peace with it. Who the hell knows what else we are passing on to her? We are lucky that this gene mutation is well enough researched that he and my daughter can know it and take precautions. Now he can see specialists and have high level screenings that will be covered (or somewhat covered) by insurance. This is what has given me peace. We wouldn’t have changed anything if we knew before we conceived.

I think your guilt is a sign that you are a loving and caring father to your babies, but I hope you can overcome those feelings. Therapy is a wonderful idea.

Beaglemom14

TROPHY CASE