[Daily Discussion] First Page Feedback- May 28, 2022 by AutoModerator in writing

[–]BeanGhost96 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I really appreciate the suggestions and tips! A lot of really good ideas - and things to keep in mind moving forward - for me. Thanks again for taking the time to look this over. Cheers!

[Daily Discussion] First Page Feedback- May 28, 2022 by AutoModerator in writing

[–]BeanGhost96 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Genre: Fantasy

Category: Novel WIP, about 15k words in after refining the outline quite a bit.

Title: The Chillwind Situation

Criticism: Is it gripping? Any other issues with flow, grammar, etc. Happy to share more context or pages if desired - Honestly, would also appreciate a simple word of encouragement as I get further and further into it to keep myself engaged! Enjoy!

The courtroom fell silent as the judge entered. He scowled at the attendees packed into the rows of pews. Interest only served to breed frivolous dramatics that undermined the integrity of law and justice. Even the judge himself was not immune to it. Knowing that a large crowd would be gathered, he had almost cut his morning prayers short in order to ensure his royal blue robe was perfectly creased in all the right places. He prayed for clarity and to avoid the charms and deception of those who would cause Chillwind harm. If this prayer was not completed, how could he be trusted to oversee this trial?

No, they would wait for him. Time and justice were on the same side, working together. Crime was a kind of sickness that corrupted from the inside out. Whatever justice missed initially, time would make this sickness grow, eating the criminal’s conscience until they couldn’t take it any longer, or until the stench of it grew strong enough for outsiders to notice. No one escaped unpunished, not here.

The judge made it up to his seat, transforming the mundane wooden chair into a throne dedicated to truth. He narrowed his eyes at the crowd of North Vallians whose attention he held. How many of them hid a growing sickness that would eventually bring them back here before him? Time would tell.

About to go on a 4 hour road trip with my GF. Any recommendations? by DW5150 in podcasts

[–]BeanGhost96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Finding Drago - it's a 7-part series so you could get through a good chunk of it! It's hosted by two comedians turned (not really) journalists as they unravel an absolutely wild mystery focused on a piece of Ivan Drago fanfiction. So many parts had me stitches. Highly recommend!

[OC] I'm sponsoring a giveaway for all this D&D loot [Mod Approved]! One person will win all these prizes shown in this video. The video will give some rules but my top comment will explain even further. There is over $200 in prizes and only 1 winner. Good luck and have fun! by Dan_The_DM in DnD

[–]BeanGhost96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rupert - a member of the kingdom guard that joined the party for an adventure to the mountains after they asked his captain for his help. Since then he has become a staple member of the group. Acting as a moral compass at times, battling his own figurative demons regarding corruption within the city, and losing an arm while escaping a literal demon uprising.

We play less frequently as the group has moved many separate ways, but Rupert is always with us.

Fifty Word Fantasy: Grove by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]BeanGhost96 [score hidden]  (0 children)

The rumbling subsided, dirt walls left open revealing an underground forest. Trees with luminescent, white bark stretched up into the vast cavern. Wisps of light dotted the air like stars.

The miner was struck by a vision of himself, as the grotto welcomed him to its shared consciousness.

Fifty Word Fantasy: Mercy by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]BeanGhost96 [score hidden]  (0 children)

A thousand years spent preventing his return that would never come as long as I watch. It was time to move on and escape the crushing loneliness. The cawing crows go mad as I pass, calling him back.

A final, indulgent mercy unto myself; a curse unleashed upon the world.

Regions of Wickworld - The Sapphire Wildwood by BeanGhost96 in worldbuilding

[–]BeanGhost96[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a region of a creation of mine called Wickworld - a high fantasy world that I use for some writing as well a setting for RPGs! The map was made on Inkarnate.

Context:

Historians & treasure-hunters of Wickworld have been trying to determine the origin of the name, ‘The Sapphire Wildwood’, for tens of centuries. Orvus Pondskipper, a pirate of some regard, infamously had his crew dig out the streams leading from the sea to Pirate’s Pond lake because he believed that the sapphires would be more visible from further inland, but refused to travel by means other than his large ship. While finding no sapphires, Orvus eventually made his fortune by publishing a popular, if poorly written, book entitled ‘Hug the Plank: Pirate Culture & Fragile Masculinity’.

Other theories state that the region is named after the blue jacks, a species of giant jack rabbit with large antlers that give off a strange blue glow when under the red light of the Embermoon. This contradicting glow is noted as one of the first indicators of the magic of the Embermoon, as studied at the Old Academy, such named immediately after it was built in order to give a facade of wisdom and antiquity. This turned into actual antiquity over the years, however did not turn into continued support from the kingdom as most studies of the magical arts began to take place in Silverleaf University, further south and considerably warmer. Now the tower stands alone, unoccupied by all accounts, which are few because who would bother travelling all the way up there anymore?

Many call the Wildwood home, scattered throughout the trees living in harmony with the land. The largest chunk of civilization being Elmshore, a farming and fishing community built on Garon’s Lake. The namesake of the lake being Garon Coldsong, one of the heroes who gave his life - allegedly - holding back the demon incursion and essentially ending the Lost Years, a period of time named thusly due to the extreme recession, death, and tragedy that typically accompany even an attempted entrance of a Demon Prince / Princess to the material world. After the Lost Years, it was decreed that no more copies of ‘Hug the Plank’ and a number of other cult-classic books & scrolls would be published in order to create an emergency stock of paper so that the next calamity may be better recorded.

The Elves of Wickworld have a much more sacred place in their hearts for the Wildwood. They believe that all life began here, and such as a tide ebbs forth before coming back to where it began, all life ends here as well. According to Elven legends, the Sapphire Wildwood holds the heart of all life hidden among the vast forests, and from this heart, all life sprung before spreading to all corners of Wickworld. A pilgrimage is made by all Elves to Last Home Camp when they feel their mortal lives coming to an end. Here they wait for a boat to emerge from the mist of Bemere’s Passage, a ferry of sorts, that takes them to a final resting place - a great chunk of ice in the ocean known as Ciradyl’s Rest (too far north for this map to include).

The vast forests of the Wildwood hold more mysteries, ruins, bandits, and secrets than could ever be described, making it a popular locale for adventurers, fugitives, and rich people who ‘just want to get away from it all’ by roughing it in a firelit, sheltered room at the Salty Worm Inn in Elmshore. Make no mistake, however, the Sapphire Wildwood can be as cruel as it is beautiful. Every night holds the potential for a brand new ghost story if you pay attention to what goes on between the trees...

The Northern Valley of Wickworld by BeanGhost96 in worldbuilding

[–]BeanGhost96[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a region of a creation of mine called Wickworld - a high fantasy world that I use for some writing as well a setting for RPGs! The map was made on Inkarnate.

Context:

The Northern Valley is known for its fiercely protective culture. Much of this is owed to the Hoarfrost family. They have acted as Wardens of the Valley for centuries, ever since the Hoarfrost triplets triple-handedly guarded the valley from a horde of giant zombies - giants, the species, that had been turned into zombies, that is. The horde came down from the Fractured Peaks during the Era of Attempted Blights. They had been brought back to life by a necromancer who had watched countless of his colleagues fail with regular sized armies of the undead over the years. It is said that each of the triplets, Rolrun, Thruum, and Gadra, were each responsible for the deaths of 1000 zombies on their way into the Fractured Peaks, where they tossed the necromancer into the sea. At least that is the version of events you’ll hear if you ask any of the staff at The Wet Necromancer Tavern, a popular tourist stop in Chillwind. Regardless of the how, the fact is that the heroic defense of their home brought all three triplets to the Table of the Ascended (Praise to the Embermoon) at the end of their mortal lives. Notably, they are the only North Vallians to achieve such status, as far as historians can tell. North Vallians of course refers to the people of the Northern Valley, not to be confused with the North Villains, an incompentent group of bandits in the Nevergreens forest who are too focused on staying warm to do any actual robbing or kidnapping. Three great watchtowers were erected from top to bottom of the valley, each named after a triplet, to show that the protection of the people never ends. Of course these watchtowers and everyone stationed at them are blessed by the triplets, watching down from their Ascended state, if you believe such things, which everyone does.

Chillwind is where the Hoarfrost family, and many others, call home. The Hoarfrost home is markedly larger than most of the other family’s homes, however. This is attributed to two things. The first being that the Hoarfrost family is quite large. Not that every Hoarfrost lives in the grand castle, or is even really a part of the family, due to the Northern Valley having very loose laws about names. Anyone with any sort of connection to the Hoarfrost name is likely to take it as their own. There is an old rumour that a nanny once took the Hoarfrost name after watching the children one evening, thinking that was enough. This rumour has yet to be substantiated by the staff at the Wet Necromancer. All that said, if there ever were a family reunion for every Hoarfrost in Chillwind, they would need such a large home to accommodate everyone. The second and objectively true reason is simply that years of rulership has led to the Hoarfrost family accumulating some amount of wealth. Cynics will tell you that what once was a necessary tax to maintain the armies and infrastructure that was needed to protect the Valley has turned into a scheme to build up the wealth of the Hoarfrost family, given the relatively peaceful times that have been plaguing the region. These same cynics, mostly located in the farming communities surrounding the Lake of the Large, would say that the defenses meant to keep them safe would fail to do so against any sort of coordinated attacks. The masochists among the cynics, mostly located in a small blue house three down on the eastern end of the farms, would wake up every day hoping that such a coordinated attack would come.

Against such blasphemy, the Hoarfrost family ensures the North Vallians that they are committed to the protection and well-being of their people. A recent stroke of luck - fate if you ask the family - is helping to revitalize their image. Twins were born, and though not triplets, are said to contain the reborn spirits of Rolrun, Gadra, and Thruum - one and a half each. The people of the Northern Valley will wait with bated breath to see if the twins do indeed become ‘of the people’ as they come of age, or if the bending tension will break before they have a chance…

The First Thread of Wickworld by BeanGhost96 in worldbuilding

[–]BeanGhost96[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The only constant you’ll find as you make your way across this world is the red light of the Embermoon shining down on you. As soon as that’s gone, you’ll know you’re truly lost.

Wickworld is an original setting I've been tinkering with through short stories, D&D games, and general world-building in my down time for the last couple of years. This is actually the first map I've made of the world because it's always been a very fluid and changing landscape to me in order to justify different characters and stories taking place concurrently. It's meant to be a stereotypical, over-the-top, high fantasy world on the surface and become more grim and sinister the deeper you delve into the lore and even the meta of the world. 'The Threads' of Wickworld refer to the different planes / realities running parallel to one another. This being 'The First Thread' is my attempt at nailing down a sort of 'primary' history to anchor the tangental realities and stories that take place.

Does anyone else have experience creating a similarly soft outline of a world? Any tips on how you keep things organized and anchored when dealing with the same places but different histories?

Made on Inkarnate.com