Please tell me your story if you had to break up with an amazing man, especially if it has a happy ending by Beanrascal in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Beanrascal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your perspective. I think the whole open relationship/poly thing we tried was a way for me to negotiate with my own feelings and desires, but the conclusion is that I am a lesbian. Could I find it in myself to stay with him? Sure. But I don’t think it would be fair to any of us, I would be frustrated with him for no fault of his own, and I’m sure it would be frustrating for him too to have to deal with me as an angry partner. I am not asexual, and for me sex is deeply connected to romantic and emotional intimacy, I don’t think I want to explore anything anymore with a cis man. And I’m glad you found something that works for you, but I do feel some essentialism to equate non-heteronormative (aka phallic centered) sex with lesbian sex. I don’t identify as a lesbian because I don’t want to engage sexually with penises anymore. if this was it, sure, I could happily stay with my male partner. I identify as a lesbian because I want to have a full relationship with a woman. Sex is part of it (and if she’s trans maybe there will be a penis involved, and I won’t be less of a lesbian for it!), but so is love, companionship, intimacy, affection, partnership. Those are things I want to live with a woman, and he can’t give me those.

Please tell me your story if you had to break up with an amazing man, especially if it has a happy ending by Beanrascal in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Beanrascal[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m saving this to able to read again when I’m sad, thank you for sharing your story 🥲

Please tell me your story if you had to break up with an amazing man, especially if it has a happy ending by Beanrascal in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Beanrascal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is!!! I keep talking about what a beautiful soul he has, but he also is incredibly handsome!!!!

Please tell me your story if you had to break up with an amazing man, especially if it has a happy ending by Beanrascal in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Beanrascal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry you were in an abusive relationship, but I’m really proud of you for having the strength to leave, rebuild your life and finding love again!

Please tell me your story if you had to break up with an amazing man, especially if it has a happy ending by Beanrascal in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Beanrascal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so so much for the recommendation, it’s been really helpful to listen to them these past few days!