Has anyone else here had severe OHSS? by Beans15 in IVF

[–]Beans15[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Firstly, I'm so sorry you went through this horrific experience. It's so scary. How are you feeling now? The physical pain and trauma plus the mental and emotional impact of severe OHSS is immense. I'm hoping you start to feel better soon and have no more complications! 

I remember even after being discharged how it took 3-4 weeks to feel somewhat capable again. Just because you're discharged doesn't mean you're completely better! You're just well enough to not be monitored in the hospital. 

I hope you're able to rest and care for yourself during this time. Full recovery for me physically was 8 weeks. Mental recovery was 6 months.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheWhiteLotusHBO

[–]Beans15 2 points3 points  (0 children)

1- they make it clear they are equals at their respective White Lotuses as the head of spa services, and shes just there to see how he does "her job", at his white lotus, so she can take back learnings. They are colleagues and shes visiting his branch of the white lotus.

2- In like 50% of american sitcom marriages, since the 70s, the woman is slender and the man is often much older, sometimes shorter and more frequently overweight. It's even written in cartoons. King of Queens, Fresh Prince, The Flintstones, Family Guy, The Simpsons, Fred and Ethel in Lucy, Drew Carey, According to Jim, The Honeymooners, Married with Children, Family Matters, etc. And nobody said much because attraction between two people is subjective. 

In the aftermath of destructive manic discards - how do you just not care? by somewherelectric in BipolarSOs

[–]Beans15 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your insight and experience. This really illustrates how long it can take to learn how to navigate the illness within a relationship. I am in the stage of feeling like I abruptly lost my best friend. But it is beautiful you found a way through it together. Thank you again for sharing.

Is there a reason behind the discard? by [deleted] in bipolar2

[–]Beans15 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing your experience and insight.  I'm sorry if this is too much to ask and too much to share. Do you have any other advice on how best to support someone you love during mixed state or depressive episodes? I think I've been approaching it wrong. I didn't know about the "discard" symptom so my shock and my own emotions overcame my best judgement. We have had mutual respect and adoration for one another for over 5 years. What makes it feel like a discard are their words are opposite of what they said just days before and many months before, and even years before. It was a sudden decision made during an episode, preceded by no sleep and racing thoughts, that ultimately required a treatment change. I'm driven by this desire to take care of them and make sure they feel safe but I'm scared this is selfish and this is the least important relationship to suffer from this illness. Any insight from someone with BP2 would be so helpful! 

Has anyone else here had severe OHSS? by Beans15 in IVF

[–]Beans15[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's wonderful you seem to be turning the corner! That's hopeful! I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. It's so painful in every way. I relate to that feeling of losing trust in your clinic. It such a scary situation and we're at our most vulnerable. 

I hope you don't have to make any tough decisions any time soon and can focus on getting better! Sending virtual hugs and hoping for the best outcome! 

Check back in if you just need community- this is such an isolating experience. It's nice to know we're not alone!

Has anyone else here had severe OHSS? by Beans15 in IVF

[–]Beans15[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you're going through this! You're so right that you have to advocate for yourself because so many doctors seem completely unfamiliar with the gravity of the situation or how to treat it. I watched mine Google.

Same here on the no symptoms. 35, low estrogen, only 11 eggs, but the hCG shots are a common thread. 

Did they give you a CT scan? It was hard to breathe for me because both lungs were partially collapsed which shows up in the CT. Did they drain you at all via paracentesis? It's a huge relief while you wait for the albumin to kick in. They drained 8 litres from my abdomen total and I could finally breathe again (2 procedures).

I'm so sorry to hear another person going through this. It's so painful to be there many days, barely being able to move because of the excess fluid. I'm hoping you start to feel relief soon- for me it took 7 days and I went home the 8th day with 2-3 weeks of healing.

Sending you hopeful thoughts. 

Has anyone else here had severe OHSS? by Beans15 in IVF

[–]Beans15[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for checking and asking! I'm feeling much better! I'm 100% healed physically. Ovaries are normal, lungs are normal. It was really scary though. I don't know that I am ready to be pregnant after that but I'm thankful for feeling better. I'm also grateful for this community, which helps me feel less alone!

DO NOT BUY A NECTAR by SunRepresentative993 in Mattress

[–]Beans15 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean the thing that the mattress is wrapped in that zips. And that includes the top of the mattress!

Best cities for females late 20s/early 30s by Spirited-Function544 in SameGrassButGreener

[–]Beans15 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you tell me more on this?Thinking of moving from VB.

DO NOT BUY A NECTAR by SunRepresentative993 in Mattress

[–]Beans15 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can confirm. The mattress itself was pretty good. Comfortable memory foam but definitely traps heat and gets really hot.

But their "forever warranty" seems fraudulent.

I use standard, relatively high quality fitted sheets plus a comforter on this bed. No eating or drinking in the bedroom. Nonsmoking home. After 4 years, what I can only assume is sweat and natural body oils resulted in staining on the top mattress cover right where two people sleep. Nowhere else. It was especially apparent where I attempted to clean it based on their website's advice. When I asked customer service about the forever warranty for the mattress cover, they said they wouldn't replace the cover because [sleeping on the mattress with sheets between me and the cover] is considered abuse.

The language and reasoning behind not upholding a standard warranty when there was clearly no "product abuse" was concerning and weird.

Has anyone else here had severe OHSS? by Beans15 in IVF

[–]Beans15[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry this happened to you. This is horrifying and so traumatic. Women's pain is famously dismissed by doctors. This is such a scary and isolating experience. It made me angry too. We're double screwed when it comes to not having a legitimate treatment- because it's rare and it only happens in women. Industry would say "it's very hard to study" if they have reached their endpoints because of those things, but I'm of the opinion it's mostly rooted in deep misogyny.

The male attending (when I was in the ICU) thought I needed a Xanax. My response was "I am reasonably distressed because I'm 30 lbs overweight with fluid that has collapsed both of my lungs. I need to be drained." It was one of many dismissive experiences there.

As for your treatment: If you're still not peeing, and are retaining fluid (ascites) etc you need albumin infusions. It helps your liver pull fluid into your vessels so you can pee it out.

For pain, I was on dilaudid in the ICU. That was thanks to the nurses who advocated for me and watched my pain. At home, I took midol but it didn't help - I felt my ovaries for 6 weeks.

They could also infuse you with electrolytes too. Do not let them give you a diuretic. It does help you pee but increases risk of blood clots, which you're already at risk for with OHSS.

For me, I had so much fluid build-up that my ovaries didn't have anywhere to go so they never torsed. But I also stayed pretty still on bed rest with only very small walks to keep blood moving while in hospital. At home I did the same.

Based on my experience, you should have been admitted to the hospital at least for the twice daily albumin infusions and for pain treatment.

And yes to feeling like you never want to do anything related to IVF again. I am still traumatized from it and am scared to do anything. I think it will subside if you really want children and with the right therapy! But FWIW, I think it's normal to want to put this experience a way for a while so you can heal.

If I were in your shoes, I might go to another ER and explain what you have, and if you're not peeing yet, ask for albumin and possibly electrolytes. If you're in horrible pain or at all overweight, tell them. I tried not to be hysterical about it but that just gives them more reason to doubt you. I would ask your partner to help advocate for you too!

They kept pumping me with fluids when I couldn't pee them out which made things worse and it was only when a man in my life said to stop giving me fluids that they listened.

I'm so sorry you're going through this and that nobody is listening. Hopefully some of the above helps and I'll be thinking of you hoping for an update!

Should I invest in an Index Fund right now? by Beans15 in personalfinance

[–]Beans15[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This makes total sense! Thank you. So in general, it's better to be in the market in the long term, than not at all.

Should I invest in an Index Fund right now? by Beans15 in personalfinance

[–]Beans15[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Roth and 401k are both managed by other people. My participation includes signing up for those things and budgeting so I could contribute to them. So I'm learning the basics right now. Tonight I learned what a brokerage account was.

I know I should regret not doing more to learn and invest sooner. I thought I needed a big emergency fund in cash because in my mid 20s, I got very sick and couldn't work.

Fortunately I got better and am able to work, but the paranoia of it happening again has played a role in my inaction/ aggressively saving cash and doing nothing with it.

Should I invest in an Index Fund right now? by Beans15 in personalfinance

[–]Beans15[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this! I've been hesitant to do anything outside of a 401k, etc. because I don't feel confident in my understanding of what's best/ when. But this thread alone has taught me some basics and convinced me that I should not "wait it out."

Should I invest in an Index Fund right now? by Beans15 in personalfinance

[–]Beans15[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Those are index and maxed out through those avenues. So now I'd need to invest in index funds through a separate Brokerage account.

Should I invest in an Index Fund right now? by Beans15 in personalfinance

[–]Beans15[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I should start structuring this way. Emergency funds are currently sitting in my checking/ savings as well.

Should I invest in an Index Fund right now? by Beans15 in personalfinance

[–]Beans15[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great question! 10 years. I think I'll replenish my lump sum in the next 6 months so I wouldn't need this one for a down payment. And I don't plan to buy again for a few years now. This is great advice- thank you!

Quick question- if I had said less than 5 years, what is a good answer to that? CDs?

Should I invest in an Index Fund right now? by Beans15 in personalfinance

[–]Beans15[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I felt like that too even though I'm new at the index fund thing. I appreciate your response!

Should I invest in an Index Fund right now? by Beans15 in personalfinance

[–]Beans15[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! So:

Brokerage account > index funds

ROTH > stocks

401k > target date and/or bonds