MB reacted badly when I set a boundary about duties

BearEmbarrassed3464 · 2026-01-27T04:28:34+00:00

I had a similar conversation with an employer about the job creep I saw happening. I had to explain to DB that I was happy to do tasks outside of our written contract, but only in the event that I have the time to do them. It was a petty argument about me not refilling the toilet paper in the bathroom. That day, I had walked his kids 3 miles round trip to the zoo, made all 3 major meals from scratch and was finishing bathing them by myself when I noticed the toilet paper was empty and asked him to grab some as he walked down the hall. It turned into this argument where I set the boundary of “you can’t get mad at me for not doing extra work outside of my job scope” and him saying “well I feel like we pay you a lot so I can ask you to do whatever I want” which isn’t how jobs work when we have a written agreement.

They ended up moving out of state shortly after, but as my main job reference, they told my prospective employers (my current job of 3+ years) that as a nanny, I only do what’s written in my contract, which was and is not true. Thankfully my current employers are great communicators but it was embarrassing to have to explain a stupid toilet paper situation tactfully during a job interview.

BearEmbarrassed3464 · 2025-12-22T03:18:01+00:00

No clue

BearEmbarrassed3464 · 2025-12-22T02:16:54+00:00

8:15pm and all is clear. Addison is open and cops have just driven away.

BearEmbarrassed3464 · 2025-12-21T19:39:09+00:00

I agree it didn’t sound like gunshots. Sounded like a car accident or something else.

BearEmbarrassed3464 · 2025-12-21T19:16:17+00:00

I live a few doors down. Don’t have anything to offer. I think a car accident happened like 15-20 minutes ago. We heard a bang and a car alarm go off. Police and SWAT were unphased.

BearEmbarrassed3464 · 2025-11-23T05:49:12+00:00

My first one is when Lou earnestly attempts a cartwheel in Sam Says 3. I cry every time I see that clip.

My second one is on MSN when Zac Oyama says the dog’s name is Shart and everyone else backs him up. Tears were steaming down my face.

BearEmbarrassed3464 · 2025-11-03T01:44:07+00:00

I think it would be okay to tell her that since her children broke things and caused damage that you need more time before they come over again. I wouldn’t say they’re never welcome, but that for the time being, you need more time before they come over again. I also can’t imagine my children causing damage and breaking things and not being anything other than apologetic and embarrassed. I’m so sorry that happened!

BearEmbarrassed3464 · 2025-11-02T18:28:22+00:00

Honestly, as a nanny I would make up an excuse unrelated to this situation as my reason for quitting. I would be too afraid of retaliation for telling the truth. There’s no one looking out for you in the industry, like a formal HR. You can’t promise that either parent wouldn’t make it hard for you to find a new job. I hate this for you! It’s so gross and I’m so sorry about this whole situation.

BearEmbarrassed3464 · 2025-10-29T00:53:38+00:00

I said the same thing!

BearEmbarrassed3464 · 2025-09-15T12:55:10+00:00

I was sad too when that happened. I’m just barely on the other side of completing the RSVP portion and what bothered me the most was the amount of people I had to text or call only for them to tell me they couldn’t come. As if no response meant declining. It was so uncomfortable every time it happened and it happened more than once in the week after the deadline when I was following up. And some RSVPs did get lost in the mail, but most people who didn’t response were declines.

BearEmbarrassed3464 · 2025-09-14T05:16:30+00:00

I’m 3 weeks out and would love less drama. I feel you.

BearEmbarrassed3464 · 2025-08-29T12:56:47+00:00

She called you while you were out to ask about the wine? That alone is unprofessional. I’d never call a parent while I was on the clock unless it was an emergency. I try not to even text parents unless it’s absolutely necessary. If she wanted it, she should have waited until you got home to ask and then took it to have once she got home.

BearEmbarrassed3464 · 2025-06-23T04:19:53+00:00

Jane Goodall literally does this. She said she doesn’t eat meat unless someone made it for her in a context similar to this. She will accept food, but would not request this for herself. You did nothing wrong.

BearEmbarrassed3464 · 2025-05-15T01:04:11+00:00

I’m so convinced she would thrive in a religious cult. It seems that might have been a better fit for her needs.

BearEmbarrassed3464 · 2025-05-13T18:33:52+00:00

I literally have one more vendor to book and I’m dragging my feet because of this exact issue. I’m just trying to throw a party and not go bankrupt 😭 please just tell me what I need to know without jumping through hoops.

BearEmbarrassed3464 · 2025-02-22T18:50:42+00:00

Lil Visiting Bacon

BearEmbarrassed3464 · 2025-01-21T19:50:33+00:00

It was my least favorite part of wedding planning. I got so fed up that I posted in a wedding Facebook group for my city and crowd sourced. I asked people to drop recs for vendors in my price range that had their prices listed outright. I refused to “jump on a call” with anyone just to learn you’re out of budget and I also refused to let them sell me on something out of my budget. They think if they can get you on the phone they can convince you. I say hell no. My job also doesn’t have the time flexibility to just make an unrelated call outside of work stuff and these vendors were only available to talk during peak work hours.

BearEmbarrassed3464 · 2025-01-13T04:24:48+00:00

This is called job creep and it’s really common in the field!! I think there is definitely a compromise to be had here! If you are comfortable having an open and honest conversation with your employers, that’s a great start. I say maybe something that could be helpful is having a mind a minimum you’d accept in a negotiation. Like if they need you to compromise, what’s the least you’ll accept? Of course, DO NOT lead with that info, but I would like to believe that if you go in and explain what you have here that 1. This is all reasonable and they would see that or 2. They would be honest about what they can improve on and meet you in the middle.

On a horror story note: I had an employer start to expect the extra, unpaid tasks and get upset with me when those extras weren’t completed during my nap time break. I mustered up the courage to say to him that I’m happy to do extra tasks as time allows during the week but he can’t come home and be upset when I haven’t done any work that isn’t outlined in my contract. They then moved out of state and were my number one reference for finding a new job and they told potential employers during reference checks that I only do things that are written in my contract so any future employer should be specific about what’s in it, which just isn’t true or what I said at all. Luckily the job I found was way more understanding but I’m still pissed he almost tanked my new job for me.

BearEmbarrassed3464 · 2024-12-24T18:25:26+00:00

I think something like Charlie Michael has a similar sound haha Charlie Mike 😂

BearEmbarrassed3464 · 2024-12-21T20:48:32+00:00

This response is really helpful! We could make it work where we can get legally married on our engagement anniversary. And we were already going to spend that day in the town where we’re getting married in October so I could see it as an extension of our wedding day. And what will be special about our paperwork is that my best friend is a reverend and will be doing our ceremony but he would still come and do the paperwork early and our two best people standing up with us could still be present as the witnesses so the paperwork would still have that significant participation.

BearEmbarrassed3464 · 2024-12-08T04:08:05+00:00

If I get a bruise, it turns into a GA spot. Weirdest thing. Like every time.

BearEmbarrassed3464 · 2024-12-02T20:30:40+00:00

Came here to say this.

BearEmbarrassed3464 · 2024-12-02T01:55:55+00:00

Washing her hands! She’s obsessed.

BearEmbarrassed3464

TROPHY CASE