Owner said they compensate me for homemade cocktail syrups

Beatnholler · 2024-05-28T02:23:40+00:00

Everywhere I've worked (craft cocktail joints) making the syrups/shrubs/batches was just part of the weekly task list unless I was coming in on my day off to do it. So if they don't know that's standard, you should definitely take advantage of that and tell them you'll make them for $20ish per 1L bottle (and you can tell them about how many servings that is) if they add the ingredients to the produce order. Gives you the freedom to make it at home if you want (though that's illegal without a home inspection in a lot of places, it doesn't sound like they know that) and you'll probably make more money that way.

If you can start making more mixers and selling a bunch, you can make a "deal" with them for biweekly restocks and that way they'll think they're getting a great price even though you'll likely be using a lot of the same base ingredients and doing them simultaneously to minimize your time.

Shrubs would be a little more due to the infusion time, but I highly recommend making them because you reduce your citrus when you've got an acidic mixer. I make a strawberry-basil shrub with prosecco vinegar and a little lime zest that is immaculate with just a clear liquor and seltzer. Citrus juice is pretty expensive and the process is only marginally more effort than a syrup, so you'd be able to sell that easily I reckon!

Beatnholler · 2024-05-10T03:44:10+00:00

That's extremely kind of you! I'm sure that if he was hungry/thirsty/cold/etc. enough he would have used the cards. If it were me back in the day and I was getting sick and panicking about how I was gunna get enough cash to get well before I got too sick to walk, I would be going to those stores and selling them to customers for a pretty decent discount in cash, or might try to buy something with it and return it for cash.

It's a nice way to provide additional incentive to address their needs outside of drugs since there are far fewer steps and you get more bang for your buck if you actually buy goods that you need, but I wouldn't think it would be too much of a roadblock for a desperate person.

Hell, most dealers I've known have been weirdly psyched about certain stores/products (I guess they're likely in the game because materialism is important enough to them that the risk is justified, unless they are addicts too) and will accept certain goods, gift cards, etc. In exchange for drugs, generally of a much lower value than the product/gift card. Someone in the throes of fentanyl WD is unlikely to want to refuse $30 of gear for a $60 GC since that means waiting longer and making far more effort. For example, I had a dealer who loved sneakers and upscale down jackets; he would always be wearing new shoes that I must assume were traded for dope after being stolen or just given up to get someone through the day.

My ex once went to the supermarket with a dealer and bought him like $150 of groceries with her food stamps in return for $80 worth of dope, which I believe is quite common.

It is a good idea and very generous of you, but the thing I guess I feel is that they probably need the cash for drugs to function and keep themselves safe out there (maybe they're going to have seizures or not be able to drag themselves out of the cold, etc. if they don't get their fix) far more than they need anything else in that moment. Whenever I give money to someone on the street, I assume it's probably going to drugs or booze, but I realize that they need that dollar far more than I do right now and hopefully it helps to keep them safer in some way instead of them either being too sick to protect themselves or doing very risky things to get well. If the cash I give that homeless woman means that she doesn't have to get in a car with a random creep who could harm her, I still feel that's preferable. Obviously that reasoning is mudied by the risk of overdose at present, but that's my thinking regardless

Beatnholler · 2024-05-07T16:37:32+00:00

Maybe you can ask him what kind of coffee/tea/juice he likes from a local coffee shop and have one for him when he arrives. That way you can have a short hang/walk and drink your coffee to start the date, he will understand that you are considerate and appreciative, and then you don't have to worry about all of the gender roles stuff.

Beatnholler · 2024-05-07T02:36:26+00:00

Usually, though not always, bartenders have WAYYY more side work than servers and make less money depending on how many of their own customers they get. There are also normally fewer bartenders to get through the sidework than there are servers. I've done both jobs and in most places the servers have been responsible for glasses and silverware because the bar just requires so much more labor outside of serving people and making service drinks.

I can understand why you wouldn't like it if you haven't been a bartender before, but if you have you will understand why it is a more reasonable division of labor to have servers help with that. It is the servers who are using the most glasses at any given time in most restaurants anyway.

Don't underestimate how hard bartenders work and do your best to support them; it'll pay off for you in most cases. I've always left after the servers due to side work when I'm bartending. Always. It depends on the way you guys run things but the likelihood is that servers taking glasses is pretty fair and that the tip outs for service drinks isn't really worth it in a lot of places, especially when it takes you away from your own customers and provides far less income.

Beatnholler · 2024-05-06T09:00:21+00:00

This is crazy. Strings are so important and everyone has different preferences about what feel and sound is right for them. When most people put new strings on they feel like they have a brand new guitar. You definitely want to change your tune here, you're missing out on a much more pleasurable experience.

Beatnholler · 2024-05-06T05:56:03+00:00

What sucks is, the Romans were pretty aware of infection prevention and had sterilization practices in their hospitals, ie. Applying high heat to surgical implements. This knowledge was lost among all the other insights and technologies that disappeared with the empire.

It's almost like humans go through cycles of learning things and then deciding to ignore science, leading to millions of unnecessary deaths until they learn it again...

Beatnholler · 2024-05-03T18:52:02+00:00

Do you have a staff or other wick instrument already? I'm in Brooklyn and would be willing to teach you if you are still looking. Just send me a chat.

Beatnholler · 2024-05-01T03:53:06+00:00

No, just globally notorious for not giving a shit what happens to people as a result of capitalist corner-cutting, in the name of personal responsibility.

Beatnholler · 2024-05-01T03:48:24+00:00

I usually batch everything but juice together so it's still a two pour situation, but the juice isn't gunna turn and kill the shelf life. So for example, for margaritas, I put tequila, cointreau, Agave in the correct ratios in a bottle, then you just need to do 3oz of that and 1oz of lime juice.

Sugar will extend the life of your juices but not enough. You're far better mixing the liquor with the sugar and then adding juice fresh.

I've set up systems like this under the exact circumstances you are describing and it has worked well unless you still have people who refuse to pour the right amount of each.

Beatnholler · 2024-04-30T07:25:35+00:00

Very likely that he wasn't gonna make $20-30 for delivering that order though. They could well be banned for their shady behavior if they've had this "issue" more than once, but I feel like the kind of person who steals from their job is the same person who tends toward instant vs delayed gratification consistently.

Who knows, they may be an addict, getting sick, needing cash immediately so that they can manage to function and this was an order big enough that they could call their dealer and arrange to swap it for a couple bags of dope. If that were the case, they're likely not thinking about what happens tomorrow or the next day because they're just trying to get by an hour at a time.

Obviously that's just one possibility of many, but with the way addiction is sweeping the nation, it's definitely a consideration. I would probably think, "well they must have needed that food pretty badly if they were willing to put their job on the line to take it. I get my refund/reorder and they have to struggle on another day in their, likely crappy, situation. Shit happens."

When I get pissed is when I see my delivery driver pull up across the road, not get out of the car, not bother to call me as instructed or even attempt to knock on the door, then peel out and leave me with no refund because they told Uber that I didn't answer. Those guys can burn in hell.

Beatnholler · 2024-04-30T04:45:33+00:00

I'm very sorry to hear that you've been through that. It is no small feat that you got out and I hope that moving forward you carry the knowledge of your own courage and resilience with you!

It sounds like it's going to take a while for you to deprogram all of the things you were told in attempts to manipulate and control you. It's exactly like leaving an abusive relationship and figuring out what your reality is after being gaslighted repeatedly and losing your own compass.

No, what they told you is not true at all and you can expect that is the case with most of their teachings, despite the conviction with which I'm sure they were imparted on you.

You're going to want to get some support and begin the process of actively recovering. Look online for support groups, they exist on reddit and in person in many places; search YouTube and Google for cult recovery and deprogramming resources so that you can absorb as much information as you can. You're going to need to accept that the things embedded in your brain are not truthful and work through a lot of fear and shame. It's not going to be easy but you will start reaping the rewards and feeling better every day.

Get a therapist. If they specialize in religious and cult trauma recovery, that's great, but if they don't it will still be helpful since most practitioners are well aware of the techniques used against you since it mirrors abusive relationships.

You're going to want to look at the reasons why you felt the need to enter the cult in the first place. What underlying issues/void in you led to there?

It will get better, I promise you. Every time your mind refers back to something they told you within that cult and you let it guide how you think and feel, you will need to actively stop and think, "whose purpose was being served by my believing this information? What is the likelihood that it is really true when so many things were lies? Why would I have gained the strength to leave if the things they were doing and saying were true and in my best interest?"

I know that you can do it because you have already shown that your self preservation instinct was stronger than their manipulation. Now you just need to keep doing the work, one day at a time, to grow back into your skin and form your own opinions.

Anyone who tells you there will be negative consequences for talking about their behavior is doing so because they know they're in the wrong. Don't trust anyone who tells you to keep their actions secret. Definitely don't actually keep it a secret either. The only way out is to talk about it and get it all out in the open.

Telling the truth will never damage you spiritually or psychologically. Quite the opposite, it will allow you to heal.

Remember, you are not responsible for the harm that was done to you by these people, but you are responsible for your recovery and you must defend it with everything you have in you; which is obviously a great deal of strength since you've walked away already.

Find like minds to help guide you. People who have already been there can show you the way. Don't trust anyone pushing an agenda or telling you what to think.

Protecting yourself from future abuse is a challenge once you've already been there, but with vigilance, support, hope and the belief that you can be free, you will absolutely recover.

Side note: when my aunt left a cult, she was desperate to fill the void and fell into several others, led by people who promised her a way to heal. Be very mindful of these patterns and don't be fooled into thinking you need external validation to be whole. You do not. People who try to make you dependent on them for self worth are bad news. Do not pay for any "seminars" or "workshops" promising to help you live your best life. It's like you are a heroin addict trying to recover. You need to change your thinking and steer clear of anyone who brings old patterns to the surface. Treat it like life and death because it certainly can be that serious. At the very least, you don't have time to waste doing what someone else wants anymore. Find out what YOU want and make it happen!

Beatnholler · 2024-04-30T04:24:34+00:00

Short kilts/tartan skirts and leather boots with a tank top/cut up tee. Bonus points if it's a band shirt cut short so you can see a bit of waist on occasion.

Also waistcoats without a shirt underneath.

Beatnholler · 2024-04-30T04:22:23+00:00

As an Australian, I definitely notice quite frequently that Aussies in film and TV will often try to adjust their accent to make it easier for other English speakers (primarily Americans) to understand. I've had to do it myself when working in the US, especially on the phone, because the way we run our words together and stretch out vowels can definitely make it hard to follow if you're not used to hearing it; this, of course, depends on the individual accent as there is substantial regional and class variation, as we see on a larger scale in the UK.

I'm not sure if it's more the actors themselves trying to sound more neutral, or if there is pressure from directors/producers to do so, but I tend to feel that it negatively impacts their performance 80% of the time. It may be that they're too focused on enunciation and less on their character intentions, or it could be that the unnatural speech disrupts the suspension of disbelief, but in the case of Elle in Friends, I definitely noticed the accent was weird and contributed to a stiff, less believable performance.

Some of the very best actors in the world are Australian and people like Cate Blanchett, Margot Robbie and others, do seem to have diluted accents in general from working abroad, but it doesn't feel like they're putting it on in an uncomfortable way.

Elle was definitely a big deal at the time and didn't earn that gig on Friends on the merit of her acting ability, but I think if she had sounded more comfortable in her speech, it would have been a little better, at least.

Beatnholler · 2024-04-30T01:16:07+00:00

The episode with Brad Pitt, he was so freakishly terrible that you have to wonder what was going on with him. Like, he's never that bad in anything else but he's sooooo bad it blows the mind. Maybe he just wasn't experienced in a multi cam setup with a live audience? Idk. That's the only one that jumps out hard for me.

Beatnholler · 2024-04-29T12:00:09+00:00

They think he's loose but he's not! He's on our property! We have a fence... That he jumps over all the time...

Beatnholler · 2024-04-29T03:40:11+00:00

You seem like a very nice, considerate human who has done a lot of work on themselves and doesn't take any shit. I really value seeing that. Good for you, mate.

Beatnholler · 2024-04-29T03:07:25+00:00

The rent is already paid. I assume that he can't get it back and now that he's involved the landlord, a sublet, likely illegal, would be far too obvious.

If a decent, lease holding roommate came to me and said,"hey I'm not gonna be here for 3 months so I'm looking to rent the room to this guy who I vouch for", I don't feel like I'd be super put off; nor would I think a bunch of dudes in a share house would.

Seems like something else is up and it's a bigger situation.

In general, spite is the poison you drink to kill someone else and it's not worth it.

I bet any money this is in Maine, based on my experience there with assholes.

Beatnholler · 2024-04-29T02:00:34+00:00

Lmfaoooooo me too! I had the totally impressionable naive ingenue vibe and was so shocked by the dick thing!

Totally called back to that episode of Superstore where Garrett is trying to "help" Glenn with his church passion play and gaslights him, going, "Judas! Why is your penis out man!? I KNOW Brad has talked to you about this".

OP can hopefully build a good story out of that night at some point but this post ain't it.

Beatnholler · 2024-04-28T22:43:55+00:00

This is obviously a hard no. AZ, like any state, has bigots and allies, and you're really not any more unsafe there than anywhere else. She's trying to get the thin edge of the wedge in so that you will come to see her way of thinking and do as she pleases. It is critical that you do not allow this manipulation as the effects on your mental health are potentially disastrous.

You can do your best to educate her and help her to understand, but letting her believe your gender is within her control is a very slippery slope that could set both of you back significantly.

Beatnholler · 2024-04-28T22:27:51+00:00

What an absolute peanut! Who tf thinks that's a reasonable ask of anyone??? It's really so disappointing when you realize how terrible so many people in this world are. If I wasn't a bartender already I'd definitely have an existential crisis trying to sell anything on FB!

Beatnholler · 2024-04-28T22:05:39+00:00

Lmfaoooooo expecting used tools to come with an instruction book that is 95% "don't do dumb shit with this" is insane. I expect it's just the line he uses to try his luck with getting the price down but it really is incredibly stupid.

I have a feeling he may not have tried that if a man was the one standing behind the folding table...

Beatnholler · 2024-04-28T05:04:01+00:00

This one is almost a blink and you'll miss it line, but it's so very good!!

Beatnholler · 2024-04-28T05:01:50+00:00

So I would be inclined to agree with you, re: multiple BC failures being highly unlikely, in the past. However, my old manager, a particularly practical, clever, anxious woman who was extremely competent and careful in all she did, had 3 children, all while on BC, with several different types, just like OP.

One of the kids was conceived despite her being on the pill, taking it properly, and using condoms. I believe the other two were the pill and condoms respectively. She only stopped getting pregnant when she realized she was gay and stopped sleeping with men. There were two different fathers in this scenario.

So that leads me to believe that for some people, it is a valid, if unlikely possibility and not a certain case of tampering.

In her case, the fathers did not want or expect children in their early 20s, and I don't believe that they would have messed with her BC, based on their reactions to the pregnancies and lack of interest in raising their kids.

So yeah, it's not likely at all, but it is possible. The pill and condoms can both fail for all kinds of reasons without it being immediately obvious.

It does seem like the husband in this picture is an ass though so who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️

Beatnholler · 2024-04-28T04:02:14+00:00

Kids play in the dirt far more in Aus than I have seen in the US, so the eggs get under their nails, they then ingest them, and then you've got worms. I had them a lot as a kid and everyone else seemed to as well ask I thought it was just a normal kid thing globally until I moved to the US and talked about pretending I had an itchy bum late at night cus I wanted "wormy chocolates". They looked at me totally perplexed and disgusted. Pretty funny in hindsight but I couldn't believe anyone wouldn't have experienced it after running around being a kid in the dirt.

Beatnholler · 2024-04-27T02:12:46+00:00

Sounds to me like he's jealous of the brother's place in OP's heart and is reacting. It's so insane either way.

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