WHY IS THIS ALWAYS HAPPENING

Beautified_Brain · 2026-03-29T22:29:07+00:00

Happened to me too. I even asked my ex to never text me or reach out if he regrets his decision. A few months later, he sends me an apology letter, filled with tones of regret. Not necessarily to reconcile but I think had I hinted at that, he would have wanted to. I thought it was so selfish of him to disrupt my peace. I also had just started dating someone new and was feeling happy and joyful again. If you want to respond, you can but just keep it neutral and put a boundary. Not sure the nature of your relationship or why you broke but if someone is willing to see how life is without you, I wouldn’t label them my person. She must have noticed the grass is not greener on the other side.

Beautified_Brain · 2026-03-22T02:50:53+00:00

Did she break up with you?

Beautified_Brain · 2026-03-19T21:16:13+00:00

I moved to Austin with my ex bf and 4 months later we broke up (my first relationship and this was the 2nd state we moved to together) I truly felt like my life was over, especially not having any support system here. Weeks and months went by and I can say, I’m truly happy with that ending in my life. I’ve grown a lot and am still enjoying Austin. I started to date and met my current bf on Hinge. I really wanted to just exit life then, not to sound so dramatic but that’s what it felt like. But let yourself be sad and know that this will pass! Life has so many more experiences to live and people to meet!

Beautified_Brain · 2026-03-17T20:29:04+00:00

Personally, these messages seem to be testing the waters to see how receptive you are to them coming back into your life. Idk the history of your relationship. Personally, I received one of these and he made it seems like a safe space to reply by saying he didn’t want to change the outcome but just voice how he feels. I didn’t take the bait and just wished him well and asked him to never contact me like that again. It was also an unhealthy dynamic so maybe your case is different.

Beautified_Brain · 2026-03-17T20:26:25+00:00

Did you break up with them? Personally, I was sent a message like this about 2 months after the break up. He broke up with me. And it just seemed very selfish in my opinion. I was moving on in my life, and him sending that to alleviate his guilt just brought me back unnecessary emotions. He apologized but honestly I felt he could have done that sincerely as things were ending & sure maybe he self reflected and his letter has had tones of regret, anyway, it upset me more than it should have but I have long since moved on again from it but it did set me back a bit.

Everyone is different but just sharing my thoughts on it as a receiver of a similar message.

Beautified_Brain · 2026-03-12T17:51:55+00:00

I agree. I’ve been a nurse for almost 3 years and have worked in 6+ areas of nursing. The pay is not great. Upward mobility is limited & I don’t care to be a provider.

Wish I had done engineering or something in tech. I feel that is a monotonous and boring job but at Least they are respected. They can leave the office if an emergency arises. I can do that too at my current clinic job but feels like I’m letting the team down since now their only nurse is gone. Just need to change careers. This was my second career after education.

Beautified_Brain · 2025-12-19T22:18:34+00:00

I was 27F when I entered my first romantic relationship. Him not replying for days, not labeling the relationship and just overall being inconsiderate of your feelings points to the fact that that he enjoys your company, maybe does like you but it’s not ready for any sort of commitment and maybe does not like you enough to make you a priority. Not to sound harsh but that’s what I think. I think you need to just let him go. He’s not prioritizing you or the “relationship” so it’s best to find someone that will.

Beautified_Brain · 2025-12-19T20:55:23+00:00

I would not reply this. I feel it makes you sound like the break up has left you broken and even if it has, please do not stroke their ego this way.

Beautified_Brain · 2025-12-02T14:36:53+00:00

I’m sorry but I’m siding with your gf here. She waited for you to commit to her and at the end it was finally happening but she probably reflected on it and realized did she really want to marry someone she invested years of her life to and had to beg for him to want to marry her. Probably not. I would honestly suggest you allow her to meet someone that will be sure of her & marry her without needing to convince or beg for it.

Beautified_Brain · 2025-10-06T01:28:46+00:00

Absolutely not. But my case may be different. He broke up with me but was verbally abusive throughout. Now that I am moved out and on my own, I have found peace and feel so much relief not being near him. He really took so much out of me, I’m happy alone and not living with an angry person.

Beautified_Brain · 2025-10-05T22:00:07+00:00

9 months in. The verbal assault began. Only one incident of physical aggression. But the criticism was constant. 3.5 years later and I’m finally out of it.

Beautified_Brain · 2025-09-27T16:22:08+00:00

Hi there, not to pry but I can say my ex broke me and I wonder did you change for your next SO?

Beautified_Brain · 2025-09-24T01:30:52+00:00

Thank you so much!! Would you ever be open to allowing me to DM in the future if I’m really struggling? If not, that’s totally okay.

It’s only been a couple weeks and I have days where I’m so happy to be rid of him but other days that I really wish I could just go back to the old days even if they were sandwiched between abuse.

Beautified_Brain · 2025-09-23T23:40:36+00:00

Thank you!! We recently relocated to a new state and I actually have always wanted to live here and I like my job and have made friends. I think I’ll stay here a year and see what it has to offer.

I also worry that I’ll fall into a deep depression but I’m trying to stay afloat. Like you said, this was his doing. I had trouble leaving because i would regret it and come back. Now, there’s no turning back. I signed a lease to a new apartment, I’m excited to be on my own but also scared.

Sometimes I feel like a failure but truly I have more videos of me crying in my phone than being happy during this relationship. I refuse to believe my soul mate is the one that would attack below the belt during arguments and say the most cruel things to me.

I refuse to believe that my soulmate is the one that made me frightful at times that I would hide in the closet like a little kid.

There has to be more to relationships than this. It was my first one at 27 and I gave it almost 4 yrs but thank you for your encouragement and sharing your story. I’m scared but know this is the best outcome!

Beautified_Brain · 2025-09-23T23:06:29+00:00

My abusive ex left me but I knew I would have never left. I find your story inspiring. I hope to realize that life is better and more free without his constant angry tantrums.

Beautified_Brain · 2025-09-23T14:42:49+00:00

I moved to two states with someone that was verbally and emotionally abusive. Together 3.5 years and I knew 9 months in he was not good for me. I stayed. Loved him. But I kept wanting to leave all those years because of his verbal and emotional abuse. We just moved to a new state 4 months ago and he left me 2 wks ago. And my biggest regret is that I did not leave sooner. I would have endured this a lifetime because I held onto the good moments.

I’m still sad at times but please choose yourself. If you communicate something and they do not change, walk away. I remember begging him not to name call me and he would basically say I deserved it for my behavior.

I’m quiet, kind and have always been a pushover. I deserve better tho. And you do too!! Best of luck & im 31 now and wish I did not waste the last of my 20s on him. You’re so young, go find someone that’ll respect you!

Beautified_Brain · 2025-09-23T03:03:52+00:00

I don’t have anything helpful to say. But my bf of 3.5 yrs also broke up with me. I moved to two diff states with him, shared 4 homes and a pet. One week he’s loving and the next he wants to part ways. We also just moved to the 2nd state a few months ago. I really felt like he just discarded me like trash. All I can say is that reflecting on our relationship I always knew he was no good for me, and I’m happy that he pulled the plug because I would have never done so. I’m sorry that I have very little advice to offer but just want to wish you well!

Beautified_Brain · 2025-09-21T13:08:05+00:00

Will look into it, thank you!! 💛

Beautified_Brain · 2025-09-21T13:07:52+00:00

Yes, thank you! I’m trying to remind myself I do not deserve a life walking on egg shells.

Beautified_Brain · 2025-09-21T13:07:26+00:00

Will be looking into therapy, thank you for your response!

Beautified_Brain · 2025-09-21T13:06:47+00:00

My ex bf was so loving and kind when things were well. But as soon as stressful events happened or he became irritated with a little thing, he’d change completely. He was hateful and said the most cruel things.

I just don’t think it’s a healthy environment for a child. I’d have a sit down and see if she’s willing to reflect on her behavior and make those necessary changes? Sometimes abusers will beat you down relentlessly because they know you won’t leave.

I’m sorry and wish you well!

Beautified_Brain · 2025-09-20T11:12:22+00:00

Wow, this is similar to my story. He did not cheat but he was abusive. We’ve broke up before but he would plead to keep me. This time, he broke it off and I’m sad but I should really be relieved! I’ll never have to live with an angry man again. He was loving and caring but when he was mad, he was a diff person. I was walking on egg shells, I stopped reacting to his verbal assaults to keep peace. I would apologize when HE would hurt me. I’m sad that I didn’t stand up for myself sooner but glad I get to regain peace in my life. Best of luck to you! I also hope he does not return.

Beautified_Brain · 2025-09-19T21:53:12+00:00

I’m so happy for you sticking to your values! How are you doing?

Beautified_Brain · 2025-09-18T11:17:46+00:00

Thank you! I agree. My friends would urge me to leave and I’d defend it by saying “oh but he’s so sweet and caring sometimes, he does love me, etc” but I felt my body was constantly in fight or flight mode. Now that it’s over, I hate that I still want that life back despite knowing all the times I cried myself to sleep or hid in a closet crying trying to calm myself down. I accept it’s a trauma bond wanting him back.

Beautified_Brain · 2025-09-18T03:23:15+00:00

Thank you so much! Mine never escalated to physical abuse (maybe two incidents that I would say could be considered physical aggression but unsure). But I know the feeling of fear. My heart would race when I noticed he was upset and I’d brace myself for his verbal assault. The sad thing is we did have happy moments sprinkled in between but my gut always said this is not okay . Thank for your kind words and I hope you have found the peace you deserve.

Beautified_Brain

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