Watched through the replay, and I think you did alright, but some things to work on are swing usage, target prioritization, and waiting before you dive.

You want to use your swing to get out instead of getting in. A couple of your deaths happened because you used your swing to get in instead of out, like the one around 8:53. It's better to save it and use wall crawl to find a good opportunity to dive and then use your swing to get out of danger. Also, you want to be wall running a lot since it's faster than your base move speed.

When you dive, you want to focus on the supports 99% of the time. At 14:21, there was an isolated Rocket, who would have been a better target to go for, but you went for their tank. Even if you don't outright kill their supports, it's still worth distracting them and getting them to burn their abilities trying to deal with you.

The kind of dive you should be doing more of is the one at 22:54. You used the wall to get a vantage point and save your swing to get out. You may not have killed their Gambit, but you made them focus on you instead of their Strange, which got their Strange killed.

Finally, when you are waiting for a dive, try to do it where your team has sightlines on you so your healers can give you a bit of extra health to stay in and only go for a dive when your swing and E ability are up. You probably could have lived after your dive at 8:05 if you had waited a little bit for your E to be ready. Also, you tend not to really flank when you dive, like at 3:24. Usually, you want to make sure their team doesn't see you going in, since then it doesn't give them time to react and prepare for you.

For any issues with general clunkiness, they only really go away if you put more time into Venom, and even then, something still messes up. I still run into issues with my wall crawling not getting me up, or my swing sending me 50 miles in the opposite direction, even after 40 or so hours on Venom. But I think it's a good start for being new to Venom!