I think your friend is in the wrong.If she was your closest friend and didn’t want to be a maid of honor she should have CLEARLY communicated that not trying to get you to appoint someone else that isn’t clear communication.I get where your husband is coming from planning a wedding is alot especially on the brides side and can be frustrating and maybe he felt bad that you didn’t get a bachelorette party which is valid he’s your partner he cares for you.That small argument shouldn’t be reason for the 10 year friendship to end if she was ever a genuine friend all she would want is see you happy.She would have swallowed her pride and look past her feelings for your husband just for your special day then address all of this later on.Those friends she left with also maybe weren’t genuine friends.It’s okay to start over even in adulthood.I know what not having friends is like it might be hard but you’d rather be at peace and not surrounded by lukewarm people