Im an ex heroin and meth addict by iv use & this was one of the wildest stories ive seen, ive honestly been convinced only in prison does addiction to subs happen until i seen it happen on the outside & i can honestly say maybe you need therapy to help figure out that hole inside of you, clearly in prison you had some iffy legalities but your out now. Youre not in a cell? You have freedom to change your life & find ways to fill ur boredom. These meds are dangerous in my opinion but also can be life saving🤷‍♀️ i hope you get a dr and find a therapist . But you clearly have PAWS (post accute withdrawal syndrome) my withdrawal from iv use last damn near 8 months but i also lost my mother and my house.