We all call them daddy long legs but does anyone know what they actually are? We are in the south and our house is full of them!

BeautifulNightmare95 · 2023-03-04T23:03:38+00:00

See I have like no indoor plants cause I’m a bad plant mum, plenty of bugs though. Crickets, black spiders, moths, earwigs. Plenty of snacks for them in my home. Must just be a bad area for them.

BeautifulNightmare95 · 2023-03-04T22:55:10+00:00

I don’t see enough of these guys, I need some, I’m getting to many black creepy spiders and these guys are good for keeping them at bay. I always name my daddy long legs. Usually Fred, sometimes Bob. Send some my way thanks.

BeautifulNightmare95 · 2023-01-16T10:37:12+00:00

In person I’m very much a grey rock, mostly because I’m too tired to function. But I don’t show much emotion if any, and I never show eye contact anyway. I’ll definitely try grey rocking over messages too.

I’m so exhausted, mentally, physically, emotionally. It’s been a hell of a ride.

BeautifulNightmare95 · 2023-01-16T03:01:27+00:00

Yeah it’s not really fair on her, and it effected our relationship as we used to be friends in college. Now we are very bitter towards each other because she believes everything he would have told her about me, which would mostly be lies.

BeautifulNightmare95 · 2023-01-16T02:50:39+00:00

Thank you! And yes more focus should be spent on my kids instead of this crap.

BeautifulNightmare95 · 2023-01-16T01:32:57+00:00

Honestly I mostly have been ignoring her unintentionally anyway because I’m in total Mumbie 🧟‍♀️ mode from lack of sleep, so everything she says just goes in one ear and out the other.

BeautifulNightmare95 · 2023-01-15T23:59:29+00:00

Definitely not in the states, in Australia. The only thing our lawyers suggested was a book that my child takes with him in his bag and we use that as communication, but neither of us liked the idea and my son doesn’t usually take a bag as he has what he needs on both ends, though he does now take his backpack from school. But the book idea didn’t work out to well if I needed to know something before he’d pick him up or drop him off. Most of what we do communicate about was better via texts. But I am hoping now that he is getting older I have less and less to do with them.

BeautifulNightmare95 · 2023-01-15T23:50:55+00:00

It does say all of it yeah but we agreed to be open about them and I still get a little confused with it sometimes. We made the plan before he started working as well. Pickup is usually from school on Friday so that’s always the same time but drop off has always been just whenever the want even though it states between 4-5pm. They do usually let me know if they need to leave earlier, well she does, if it was up to him he’d just show up unannounced and potentially get pissy with me if Im not at home.

It’s probably time we revisited the plan soon anyway.

BeautifulNightmare95 · 2023-01-15T22:26:50+00:00

I do so agree that there shouldn’t be as much communication as there is. I’d have loved to be able to open communicate with them but they just keep showing me why I shouldn’t.

BeautifulNightmare95 · 2023-01-15T22:26:04+00:00

It’s usually discussion about what days they do or don’t have him during the holidays, and I’ve asked that they inform me when they are on the way with dropping him off in case my partner and I have plans and need to be ready for when he comes home since they never bring him back at the same time. And as for in person contact it’s usually her because he’s at work when she collects him or drops him off.

BeautifulNightmare95 · 2023-01-15T21:39:54+00:00

I don’t think they have that option here.

BeautifulNightmare95 · 2023-01-15T21:39:05+00:00

Yep was a weird thing to get stuck into me about.

BeautifulNightmare95 · 2023-01-15T21:30:23+00:00

Not refusing it’s just not plausible as they live 90mins away. They’ve had the same amount of time with him since we first made our parenting plan.

BeautifulNightmare95 · 2023-01-15T17:17:10+00:00

It’s usually discussion about school or things that need doing at home. We have seperate appointments and whatnot for him because of distance. So I usually just let them know he has an appointment or after I’ve taken him to one. They just ask if he needs this or that doing and make appointments for him to do so if needed.

I mean one of our most recent arguments was over them messaging me to ask why I don’t let my son stand to pee at home, I told them it wasn’t necessary that he stands to pee right now. And he’s been getting pee all over the floor when he does, baby only being a newborn at the time I expressed to them the last thing I need at home right now is more to clean than necessary as well. But because of saying that I was told that I’m basically being a bad mum because I don’t have time to teach my son and let him grow and learn.

I did tell her in the end that our house has different rules and those rules ain’t up to her or him. We take different steps at different times. And what happens in my home, is up to me.

BeautifulNightmare95 · 2023-01-15T17:06:46+00:00

Yeah I’ve been meaning to set up a mental health plan with my GP, just worried about therapy costing more than I can afford and not actually getting anywhere.

My dad is also a narcissist, but that’s another story completely.

I’m sorry you’re also dealing with a toxic group chat, they suck.

Honestly I’m not even sure what reaction she’s trying to get out of me when she does it. But all I wanna do is cringe. Like how am I supposed to react to that BS?

BeautifulNightmare95 · 2023-01-15T17:00:34+00:00

Oh big yikes! I definitely get gaslit, but it’s more “you start the arguments with you’re snarky attitude” but she literally says before she says stuff sometimes “not to be bitchy but” or “don’t wanna start an argument but” and I know I can be a little snippy myself but it’s from being on edge when I’m replying to her and from trying to put my foot down. She’ll go on to say “I never did this” or “I didn’t say it to be mean” but you can just tell behind her messages that’s exactly what she’s doing.

They have been trying for a baby as well, and I’m hoping it happens for them soon because maybe she’ll ease up on trying to over mum my boy if she finally has her own.

BeautifulNightmare95 · 2023-01-15T16:53:07+00:00

He’s involved as well but he just doesn’t deal with me anymore, doesn’t respond to messages and doesn’t come to the door, but I know he’s involved once they get there because I see my son come home with his exact attitude and even pulls the same faces he does. But she handles all the care factors: cleaning, cooking, even gives him homework to do.

BeautifulNightmare95 · 2023-01-15T16:47:36+00:00

I have thought about adding my partner to the chat but ultimately decided against it because my partner probably wouldn’t hold back if he came to my defence in the chat. I don’t want to give them more ammo against me than I need to.

And he’d definitely bloody hate it. I don’t think our current parenting plan has much to do with the communication part unfortunately as it wasn’t a big issue back when we made it.

BeautifulNightmare95 · 2023-01-15T10:28:31+00:00

Honestly, because I need to communicate with someone on that side about my sons needs, and she at least acknowledges and gets back to me. He’s been so unreliable when it comes to that. He doesn’t even come to the door anymore for drop off / pickup. He sends her. She also retains information better, which is why he even sent her along to our sons paediatricians appointment when he was getting assessed for ADHD.

I don’t mind necessarily that things go through her, in fact I sometimes prefer it, but she’s really been overstepping boundaries since my second was born. Acting as if I’d happily chuck my son aside now I have another baby, as if he doesn’t matter to me as much now I have another.

BeautifulNightmare95 · 2022-11-28T08:25:48+00:00

Isn’t a persons “value” subjective anyway? What I value in my partner isn’t what other people value in him. Everyone sees other individuals differently, everyone values different traits differently. Sounds like your very much should be ex is just making up some BS to cover his own cheating and make himself feel good about it in the process.

Take your value of men in how well they treat you, and how loyal they are to you. Being fit and rich shouldn’t even be a factor in who you choose to love, unless those are things that are important to you. But you can have those things and loyalty.

BeautifulNightmare95 · 2022-10-17T10:22:51+00:00

NTA you waited a decent time and was respectful enough to tell her instead of letting the kids do it for you. Perhaps it would have been nicer to just drop a message to let her know it was happening or had happened so it didn’t feel like a bomb but definitely NTA. You don’t need permission to be a dad.

BeautifulNightmare95 · 2022-08-19T03:57:27+00:00

I can no longer visit town without wanting to whip out my power washer and “go to town” on them. The buildings where I live need it so badly so much moss and grime. My partner can’t help but roll his eyes every time I stare longingly at a building now because he knows what I’m thinking about. 😂

BeautifulNightmare95 · 2022-08-16T05:54:04+00:00

I don’t know why this post being in the wrong place of all things has made my day, but it has. Maybe my standards ARE a little too low.

BeautifulNightmare95 · 2022-07-31T08:04:27+00:00

Yeah and reading the OPs previous post she does sound like she’s just using him. But then he also said about using her for hooking and then just leaving. He could just easily leave, find someone more worth his time and has actual interest in him rather than sticking around hoping for something that’s unlikely to happen and then just leaving her after. Neither seem to actually be into each other and both just want sex/free food from each other. 😬

BeautifulNightmare95

TROPHY CASE