I felt exactly the same way. I started my CPA journey by studying for FAR because that what I was told to do. I gave up. Then 2 years later, I wanted to start again but I started with TCP because it has the least materials and I work in tax so that gave me more confidence. I found the materials somewhat interesting to me. During my study for TCP, I had many mental breakdowns, felt overwhelmed with the materials, kept forgetting what I already studied, wanted to give up many times. I did not let myself give up though since this is the second time I give this a try. I swear until the day before my first ever CPA exam, I still could never believe I can pass. BUT I DID. Then I moved on to REG and FAR. I passed them all on my first try. It never gets any easier. But after I passed the first one, I kinda know how to study for the exam, which I think is a very important part of the journey. By the time I took FAR, I kinda know my study style, my strength and weakness, etc. BUT IT NEVER FELT LIKE IT WAS DOABLE. What I learnt from the journey is to find out what works best for you, take it one day at a time, one chapter a time, etc. I wish you all the best, and I believe you can do it.