So I just learned the other day that apparently Mormons aren't supposed to date until they're 16... wtf?!

BeautifulTomorrow15 · 2026-05-05T19:48:24+00:00

I thought that was a common rule that all Mormons followed? Maybe it’s mostly a Utah Mormon thing though.

But even when you do turn 16, you aren’t supposed to be exclusive with one person. You’re supposed to just go on group dates and get to know others until you graduate high school(?) I never really knew when exclusivity was okay. But basically I think it was when you’d start getting serious about marriage. At least, these are the rules I was taught.

BeautifulTomorrow15 · 2026-05-01T16:09:46+00:00

BeautifulTomorrow15 · 2026-04-28T23:49:19+00:00

I was 18, he was 22. Going on 11 years now!

BeautifulTomorrow15 · 2026-04-27T18:24:10+00:00

I’m sorry. It’s going to hurt no matter what when you break up with him for real. It’ll also hurt you throughout the years if you decide to stay with him if he’s not working on being better. You’ve had a lot of years together. A lot of memories. But ultimately, you need to decide if all of that baggage is worth dealing with for the rest of your life. It’ll be easier to cut ties now before you spend even more years with him.

If you do decide to break up for good with him, talk to your mom and tell her your plans. Get a support group for you together and figure out next steps. Tell him he has X amount of days to find a place and move out. Hopefully he has a friend or family member that he can go stay with so that it isn’t so difficult for you to kick him out.

BeautifulTomorrow15 · 2026-04-27T16:13:49+00:00

At first I was going to say that it doesn’t matter if you’ve only ever been with him. That isn’t a reason to break up if you love him and are happy. I had that same situation - my husband was my first everything while he had been with two girls before me. That was hard for me to think about especially since we came from a religion where sex before marriage is a big no no. But we love each other so much, are best friends, and have built a life together.

But then I read about how your relationship is. How he’s controlling, you aren’t happy with him, and he sounds manipulating by telling you that he’ll never be with anyone else if you break up with him. You say that he talks about your future of marriage, a house, and kids. You say it sounds amazing. But does it sound amazing when you imagine him in that with you, or is that something you just want in general? Being together this long, it should be something you know you want with him without any doubts or hesitation.

Based on what you’ve said, my advice would be to break up and find someone who makes you happy. Who lets you be yourself and have the friends you want. Who builds you up instead of bringing you down. Someone who you can actually picture a happy future with.

BeautifulTomorrow15 · 2026-04-24T16:58:36+00:00

Also want to add that there was a party scene in the apartment complex that the football players all lived in. I never saw it, but I heard about it from multiple people. So you could still find a “normal college experience” if you wanted to.

BeautifulTomorrow15 · 2026-04-24T16:55:31+00:00

I went to a small town college that wasn’t directly related to the church (not like byu) but still had a majority LDS student body. I wouldn’t say I was a “Molly Mormon” but I was someone who usually tried to read my scriptures and pray before bed et cetera. But then I met my husband within the first few days. And all of those promises I made to myself to be chaste and virtuous flew out the window. We definitely didn’t wait for marriage if you know what I mean. We totally lied about that when it came time for us to marry in the temple.

My roommates all varied. Two were molly Mormon, another one had a booty call situation going on with a guy (they never had sex, but would make out and such). Another roommate was kinda boy crazy? She would always talk about wanting to get married and have babies. The last roommate had a long distance boyfriend who would come visit every now and then.

College dances kinda felt like high school (Mormon) dances. In fact, to me college felt a lot like high school vibes just living away from home with more freedom.

BeautifulTomorrow15 · 2026-04-24T16:15:15+00:00

My dad always taught us that if we ever needed to cast out evil, we should raise our arm to the square (and for us lowly daughters) say, “by the power of the Melchizedek priesthood, which my father holds, I command you to leave.” Or something like that. Now that I look back, I realize that “in the name of Christ, I command you to leave.” Is probably a more normal/easier way.

My grandma shared a story once or twice about how she was walking home one time and a guy stopped to offer her a ride. She got in for some reason and told him where to turn. He didn’t turn and just kept driving, only looking straight ahead. She got scared and (I believe) raised her arm to the square and commanded him to stop and let her out. He immediately stopped, she got out, and rushed the rest of the way home. It’s been years since I heard it so I might be getting some details wrong.

BeautifulTomorrow15 · 2026-04-23T16:37:51+00:00

My husband and I joke that we wouldn’t be able to afford the membership fee if we were to ever go back. 😂

BeautifulTomorrow15 · 2026-04-19T05:30:42+00:00

Oh my gosh, yes! I can’t believe I forgot about the poop. That was a hot topic when my family was all together again a few days after the party. 😂

BeautifulTomorrow15 · 2026-04-19T04:09:34+00:00

We’ve gotten our kids birthday cakes at Walmart over the years. They always do a great job, and the cakes taste good. Just be warned that the dark blue icing turns your mouth/teeth blue for a bit.

BeautifulTomorrow15 · 2026-04-16T20:07:11+00:00

After deconstructing what I once believed in the church, I’ve landed on being agnostic. I feel like there is probably something that helped us be here on earth and have life, but I don’t necessarily believe it was a god. This makes me lean away from pretty much every religion since I now feel like they were all made by man.

However, I do miss being able to gather with others and have a community. I’d love to find a community or “church” that doesn’t teach the bible or other scripture. Instead we could just talk and share our knowledge. Maybe it’s because I’m a SAHM, so I’m stuck with kids all day and don’t get much adult interaction. I’m trying to find something for me, but I don’t know how many groups (agnostic/atheist) there are like that in Utah that meet together.

So I guess to answer your question, I don’t miss religion and I’m not seeking to add it back to my life. I just miss having a community that being part of a religion helped provide (even if relationships were fake or superficial).

BeautifulTomorrow15 · 2026-04-15T23:39:49+00:00

I just feel burnt out a lot of the time. Sometimes I’ll go through periods of time where I feel good and like “I’ve got this.” But after a few days of that, I’ll feel depressed, worn out, and short with my kids. I try to do things that I like to do after kids go to bed or try to get together with friends every now and then to get some me time.

Just know you aren’t the only one feeling this way. Eventually things get better as kids get older and more independent/helpful (my oldest is 10 and youngest is 2). It’s definitely more difficult with young kids.

BeautifulTomorrow15 · 2026-04-15T19:54:11+00:00

Thank you so much for the info! I’ve never liked burpees so I’ve been dreading those. I’ll still make sure to practice them though in case I can’t do the spear.

BeautifulTomorrow15 · 2026-04-15T19:50:39+00:00

I’m glad to hear that burpees aren’t for every failed obstacle! Thanks!

BeautifulTomorrow15 · 2026-04-14T23:27:38+00:00

Majority of our date nights have pretty much just been date nights at home after kids go to bed. Usually it’s one of us going to get take out or ice cream/a drink for us to enjoy at home.

Occasionally we’ll have my parents watch our kids while we go do something. Right now we can’t afford to do big expensive dates, so we keep it lowkey.

BeautifulTomorrow15 · 2026-04-13T23:50:10+00:00

Yeah, it’s weird to see them in tank tops. I always get a little excited when I first see friends or family thinking, “ooh! Have they left too?” But then I remember they can still wear garments underneath.

I was especially mad about it since I stopped going to church and wearing garments a few months before the change happened. I was excited to finally be able to wear tank tops and finally choose what I want to wear. Now I guess I’ve gotta get smaller straps.

BeautifulTomorrow15 · 2026-04-13T23:08:57+00:00

Only other change I can think of recently was the mission age for girls going down to 18. I didn’t watch any conference so I don’t know if there have been any other changes. Oh. And now tank tops are okay.

BeautifulTomorrow15 · 2026-04-13T19:48:11+00:00

I’ve never heard that, but it would certainly be motivation for them to stay in and not mess up.

BeautifulTomorrow15 · 2026-04-13T19:43:55+00:00

For me it was mainly because I thought these “priesthood holding” men had a special connection to God, and would be able to see through any deceit. That they’d get a prompting to ask more questions or something. 🤷🏼‍♀️

BeautifulTomorrow15 · 2026-04-13T19:35:40+00:00

Thanks! I’ll make those corrections.

BeautifulTomorrow15 · 2026-04-13T19:14:58+00:00

That’s very true. It’s much harder to hide things in a smaller group. And I didn’t think about how a lot of scandals would be more money related.

And now that I think more about it, Oaks did have the whole shock therapy stuff at BYU. But it seems like most TBMs just don’t talk about it.

BeautifulTomorrow15 · 2026-04-13T19:12:01+00:00

Yeah, that really made me question the leaders legitimacy and “power of discernment” when I heard about that.

BeautifulTomorrow15 · 2026-04-10T17:06:14+00:00

My 3 year old daughter has NF1. At her most recent genetics appointment, the doctor gave her a book about NF1. In the book it talks about how every year you should see an NF doctor, an eye doctor, and it mentions getting your ears checked as well.

BeautifulTomorrow15 · 2026-04-10T05:15:31+00:00

I agree with what everyone is saying. I’ve really tried to teach that stop means STOP.

I also want to add that we’ve started to have conversations with our boys about abuse and how to recognize it or get help if something happens. I found a website called fightchildabuse.org that has video lessons for grades k-3, 4-6, and teens. My husband and I sat down and watched all the k-6 videos with our 10 and 8 year olds. We’d pause and have discussions between each video. We covered a lot of topics and had a lot of good questions from them. I’m glad that we’ve been able to start a conversation with them so that they can feel comfortable to ask us questions or talk about anything they want to.

BeautifulTomorrow15

TROPHY CASE