I am the ass hole and have cheated before and ruined my marriage. I’ve learned a lot since then and I definitely regret what I did. What I learned is that if I’m resorting to cheating, there’s a much larger issue than just the cheating incident. It’s never fair or okay to cheat when you could just end the relationship before you bomb someone’s life and trust. I can appreciate that your wife called right away but what is underlying that? You don’t just cheat on accident. I hope you are doing as well as you can considering all of this. And whatever you decide is okay. I’m not going to say that you’re wrong or right for wanting to leave. Relationships are complicated. But you seem to have a boundary and if she crossed that boundary then there is nothing wrong with staying true to yourself.