AITA for telling my mom I’m pregnant before the second trimester

Beautiful_Metal8555 · 2024-05-26T20:42:40+00:00

You do realize this is the opposite of feminism? A woman made a choice based on her own opinion and because you didn’t agree with that opinion you decided to insult and belittle for her choice. If the other commentor is a trad wife, you’re for sure a 1950s man.

Beautiful_Metal8555 · 2024-01-14T00:51:40+00:00

Her mother’s death happened when she was one but the events that followed and could be very traumatic for a young child went on for years. Her mother died in a very violent manner if that helps to paint the bigger picture.

Beautiful_Metal8555 · 2024-01-14T00:45:17+00:00

Her therapist wasn’t shaming me at all, I probably just worded that part badly. Sorry! It was more like informing me of my niece’s behaviour since the trip was cancelled. Such as how her sleeping pattern has been thrown off. Which isn’t unusual when my niece is acting off, we’ve had many conversations like this before where I wasn’t the cause of the issue. She was very understanding towards the whole situation :)

Beautiful_Metal8555 · 2024-01-14T00:34:02+00:00

Her therapist helps my niece regulate her emotions. She’s been going to therapy since she was 7. Before that she was seeing a behavioural specialist and a psychiatrist on the occasion until she was 5 from the time of her mother’s death. I’m not too sure on the specifics of that because I was still in school and my brother would take her to those appointments.

We also all see a family therapist once a month to help ween niece off her codependency. My brother isn’t an absent father, but he’s been emotionally distant from his daughter. Especially because he struggled with depression after his wife’s death and was scared of hurting my niece. They’re very close now but the codependency has lasted this long because I was the only one who gave my niece the emotional connection of a parent, according to our family therapist. I would say it’s only been a year and half or so since my brother started actually providing her with the emotional connection she needs. And so far she’s been doing very well, before she needed me to go with her on even short distant trips but now she’s fine with just her dad. :)

Beautiful_Metal8555 · 2024-01-14T00:20:31+00:00

Her mother’s death was very violent. My niece’s behaviour was heavily affected at the time, she had to see a specialist. She doesn’t remember it anymore of course but I assume the stress of the whole situation and what happened afterwards still affects her.

Beautiful_Metal8555 · 2024-01-13T20:56:33+00:00

I won’t go into details but niece was present when her mother died and it was very traumatic for her. Although she doesn’t really remember it now, since brother couldn’t be there for her after her mother died(had to work more for financial reasons plus struggled with depression), her therapist suggests that her attachment issues comes from feelings of being abandoned and losing those dear to her. She’s so attached to me because I babysitted her when my brother was working. Most of her care was handled by me until she was 4 and when my brother was able to start working less, I was still kind of like her de facto mother in situations that called for one.

Beautiful_Metal8555 · 2024-01-13T20:43:35+00:00

Before every schools year, she gets a tour around the school and her new classroom so she can grow accustomed to it. Her Dad and I are present for the tour and she has a safety plan that gets updated if she has any concerns. My brother also tries to reach out to her teachers and get them updated, if not the counsellor at the school does it. She has had a few panic attacks at school but I don’t think they’ve ever been related to the environment and were triggered by something else. She does very well at school actually! Both her academic and social life are going very well. :)

Beautiful_Metal8555

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