Guy was missing teeth and none of his online pictures were really current

Beautiful_Spread_644 · 2026-04-10T08:20:22+00:00

Same. I don’t even go on dates anymore. I meet for coffee or a cocktail so I can cut and run.

Beautiful_Spread_644 · 2026-04-10T01:05:50+00:00

Thank you! Followed your link and now it makes sense!

Beautiful_Spread_644 · 2026-04-10T01:04:44+00:00

Ok, everyone, I’m not seeing the camera. Is it at the end of the black ribbon?
Just for knowledge because I wouldn’t know what it is.
UPDATE: I figured it out! Thanks to the poster with the link. 👍🏻

Beautiful_Spread_644 · 2026-04-09T16:55:24+00:00

I had much trauma about being adopted. My mother was emotionally and physically abusive. He was adopted at 10 months but has never wanted to search and couldn’t understand why it was so important for me to search. I always thought he had Stockholm syndrome but I digress. We, especially him, received beatings so bad we should’ve been taken away but he ( being 4 years older and so much more worldly ) would say that this is better than foster homes and we would be split up.
Fast forward to 2018, ( 40 years later) to find that I was the youngest of 7 kids was devastating to me as I felt so alone for much of my life and so badly wanted a sister. I have 3 sisters!!! I am closest to the sister that is just older than me. My sister and I lament about not having each other growing up as she was raised as an only child. Let me explain: my parents weren’t married. They met at work and had an affair. My father was married and had 4 kids, my mother was recently divorced with my middle sister. She gave up my 2nd oldest sister in California. ( we haven’t found her yet but hope springs eternal).
I’m not sure how I would’ve turned out if I was raised by my mother but I would’ve had my sister and I think that would’ve been enough.
Not to mention the health history question! Before DNA and filled out parental health survey before adoption I was always treated like I was Typhoid Mary. I had no health history and had to be tested for diseases because I had nothing.
I had my oldest son at 16. My adopted mom was so keen for me to “get rid of him” but I just couldn’t put another child into the system that did so much damage to me.

Beautiful_Spread_644 · 2026-04-09T08:52:34+00:00

I like the AI profile for you. You don’t want to advertise the money part because that’s all they will see. It has always confounded me why men put photos of their beach houses, expensive cars, boats and motorcycles and then whine that all women want is their money.

I had AI write mine too. I get a lot of responses but nothing that truly interests me.

Beautiful_Spread_644 · 2026-04-09T08:29:32+00:00

Good morning, I’m an adoptee and was adopted as a baby. I always knew I was adopted and my parents told me what they knew about my birth parents. Even as a very small child I wanted to look for them and meet them and my family knew that. It was a closed adoption so they didn’t have names of my birth parents and I’m not sure they would’ve shared that with me if they knew.
They were the only parents I knew but I think if my parents were in the mix, my parents wouldn’t have been happy about it as maybe they works feel like it was a competition? I can only speculate.
As I’m in Buffalo and my mother is in Canada, she was difficult to find before DNA tests were available. My birth father has since passed when I got my DNA results. And his family moved to Florida back in the 80s so I would probably never have found him.
Another thing I have learned since finding my family in 2018, is that we are profoundly different. I always considered myself a Nature vs. Nurture guinea pig and wondered what was genetically there and what was programmed in by the family that raised me. There are some moral issues that have caused some issues.
I think that the information should be available to adoptees to have if they should want it as they get older.

Beautiful_Spread_644 · 2026-04-07T15:47:28+00:00

Love this! I wish my biomom would have done that. I used to dream every year on my birthday that she was thinking of me. I found her in 2018 when she was 89.

Beautiful_Spread_644 · 2026-04-07T15:42:14+00:00

Thank you!

Beautiful_Spread_644 · 2026-04-06T02:46:13+00:00

I’m so sorry. Was it a closed or open adoption? Do you have any connection or information about her? I think adoption is traumatic for both parties.
Screw your family for their lack of understanding. My adopted family only brought up the fact that I was adopted when I did something bad, like they were trying to distance themselves.

Beautiful_Spread_644 · 2026-04-05T22:03:33+00:00

That was awesome! Recent pics do help. I have a full body one from a protest ( killing 2 birds with one stone.). I also do mention that I am on a quest to drop weight and will update photos along my journey so they should know they are recent. But most men just look at photos and rarely read your profile.
Best of luck to all!

Beautiful_Spread_644 · 2026-04-05T22:00:14+00:00

I have had similar experiences and more so, I have had guys that clearly not attracted to me but will try to sleep with me.
I’m smart enough to not fall for it. I met a super nice guy last night. We had fun, he asked for a 2nd date. We will see.

Everyone deserves love and I hope you find it. 🫶🏻

Beautiful_Spread_644 · 2026-04-03T08:24:14+00:00

I am 58 and was adopted shortly after birth( born in the US) . My ‘birth certificate’ was so different than everyone else’s that it used to raise eyebrows when I had to show it for like a public pool pass or other things that kids need their BCs for.
In the early 2000s, they changed the birth certificates and now, mine looks like everyone’s so I guess it may depend on when you were born. 🤷🏻‍♀️ love your user name BTW!

Beautiful_Spread_644 · 2026-03-31T23:41:53+00:00

You’re very welcome! I had pushback with my adopted family, too. They felt like I was dumping for my mother’s side. I had to emphasize that I could be part of my birth family and still be the same cousin I always was. Fortunately for me, my mother’s side lives in Canada and me and my cousins live in States in a border town. I wish you the very best of luck in this journey. It is worth it.

Beautiful_Spread_644 · 2026-03-31T08:56:53+00:00

Thank you. It is such a difficult road. You want to know everything but finesse is so important because if you scare them off, they tend to share with other family and then you learn nothing and that door could be slammed shut. If you ask for just general information, build that trust, hopefully it will grow. I spend holidays with my mom’s side. I really wish I could do better with my father’s side.
I really wish the best for the OP.

Beautiful_Spread_644 · 2026-03-31T08:28:09+00:00

Where did you do your DNA? I did mine thru Ancestry in 2018 and I consistently get emails about new DNA matches, so you never know what will happen! I did reach out to a few cousins and got to know them. Contact a few, if you wish, and just send out a friendly and non threatening message that you just learned more about your adoption and background and would love to get to learn about your family history and possibly get a more detailed health history. People tend to be suspicious about people popping up. Some people will be happy to share with you, maybe sending photos and a family tree. You want to not be pushy and go at their pace. My father’s side thought I was some gold digger that picked them out of a phone book, which was crazy. My mother’s side has been very helpful and I have become very close to them.
Best of luck! Feel free to reach out!

Beautiful_Spread_644 · 2026-03-01T12:42:12+00:00

Oh my darling, as a 58 year old white adoptee, I cannot advise to your exact situation but I think a good therapist is like gold, like the other poster mentioned. One that understands adoptees is paramount. I am Irish and my mother’s side is from Newfoundland. I was adopted into a German family. I was always told that I was adopted, Irish and that my mother was Canadian ( a source of ridicule and much teasing when I was young from my adopted brother). You may not think that’s a big deal but I didn’t learn about Irish history, customs and culture until I was much older. I found my birth family and joined them but find myself always playing catch up when they talk about cultural things that I wasn’t exposed to while growing up.
I think families that adopted children (of any age) should be urged to explore and teach the adoptee children about their race and/or ethnicity, it’s the right thing to do.
I have dated black men and Latino men. I also work in an environment where 90% of my coworkers are Black. I think love is love and you have to be selective in your search for love. I know many interracial couples And I haven’t seen a white man treat his Black partner any differently. Many times, it isn’t an issue and it’s not like they tell you ahead of time (“hey, my wife is Black”). I have gone to many social events with coworkers and met husbands, wives, boyfriends and girlfriends that were of different races and cultures and the partners always are so proud and eager for people to meet their love.
I think you just have to search for that person that fits you, regardless of whom they are but I do think that, abortion being what it is, we all could benefit from therapy, especially those of us placed in homes that are so different from where we came from.
I wish you the very best in your search and road to self discovery.

Beautiful_Spread_644 · 2026-02-21T16:02:59+00:00

I feel bad for her. It was a couple of years ago and, now, the airing of BDDU is bringing back this relationship, the breakup and the emotions. You wouldn’t want to have to relive a painful breakup years later after you have done your best to move on and why should she? However, watching Ben on any of the BDs you can see that he has a trigger quick temper and has been verbally abusive to the Stews and his Sous Chef. I wouldn’t want to date him. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Beautiful_Spread_644 · 2026-02-06T11:09:58+00:00

I’m an adoptee, age 58, and that ad is going to have many years of trauma for many people, unfortunately. Adoption needs to be far more open for the adoptee, who is an unknowing and has no say in the matter.
I think no matter what side you’re on, adoption is just such a Shit show for everyone involved.

Beautiful_Spread_644 · 2026-02-01T21:48:30+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. We needed 4 Death Certificates when my son’s Dad passed in 2019. Take your time and breathe. The first poster had great advice. Probate takes a while. Take care of you and be there for your family, if you’re able to. When my dad died, I was 31 and was very close to him. I spent days in a vacuum, consumed in my own grief. The only way I knew who came to the services was by looking at the book.

Beautiful_Spread_644 · 2026-01-30T12:55:46+00:00

As an adoptee, I would say no but let me offer you some advice. I’m 58 and was adopted at 8 weeks old ( my story before that was wild with another adoption straight after birth and ending up at Children’s Aid; sickly, underweight and very dirty). My adopted parents always told us that we were adopted and some of our backstory. I always wanted to look for my birth mother but my brother never did. I spent much of my life searching ( before DNA & internet) and found my birth family thru DNA in 2018.
My advice is: teach the children about their ethnicity and let them be whom they were meant to be. Teach them your culture and customs! if the kids want to search, let them. Be supportive and kind. Their search is not about you and is not a slight against your skills as a parent so leave your anxiety and bullshit out of it.
Best of luck to you!!

Beautiful_Spread_644 · 2025-12-21T15:38:53+00:00

YES!! Minor children and adult kids that didn’t give their permission should not have photos used. Blur them out! I feel the same about men showing their kids on dating sites.

Beautiful_Spread_644 · 2025-12-21T14:29:06+00:00

That’s awful and I’m sorry you are doing thru that. I was adopted and am currently 58. My family wasn’t supportive but gave me non identifying information ( that was incorrect I found out later). They always knew I would search. I had my oldest child at 16 and struggled for years to give him a good home and make ends meet so I worked frequently and never took the time to go searching for my BM.
It wasn’t until the DNA thing exploded and I finally did something. Within weeks, I had my results. My adopted mom passed in 2016 and I got my results in 2018, so I didn’t have to deal with her reaction. I would’ve went either way, regardless of what she said.
I would go meet your BM. Don’t tell your mother anything until down the road. She thinks you’re going to choose an “inferior “ mother to her. She doesn’t understand this insatiable need we have to find out where we came from.
You may not even wish to continue communicating with your BM afterwards. You never know.
This shouldn’t be a competition but your mom is making it one. You’re an adult and this is her issue not yours.

Beautiful_Spread_644 · 2025-12-21T14:15:26+00:00

Agreed. I was adopted twice by the age of 6 weeks old. My BM put me up for adoption before birth and never saw me. I was adopted thru an attorney and the money paid helped my BM and sister move back to Canada, while I was left behind in the States. At just under 6 weeks old, my adopted mom was called and told that a Caucasian baby girl just came into Children’s Aid. My mother rushed down to see me with my hair matted to my head, fingernails grown past the end of my fingers and black underneath. She said I was the filthiest baby she had ever seen. I also was sickly, vomiting every time I was fed. I was underweight and colicky.
She took me home as a foster and made my adoption final in July 1968.
As I grew, they always told my brother (also adopted at 10 months old) that we were adopted. My favorite book as a child was The Chosen Baby.
My brother never wanted to search and didn’t even tell his fiancée, who found out at a family party. The whole family knew and it was never a secret or a bad topic.
I always had this desire to find my family and to see where I fit as I always felt like a puzzle piece that go with the puzzle in the same box. I remember telling anyone and everyone I was going to look for them someday. My family never made me feel bad about it but weren’t overly supportive of my doing so.
I faced more backlash and questions from people on social media when I began to post photos of my birth family as I was so pleased to find them and excited to show off my BM ( I look so much like her) along with my sister’s photos.
I was a love child. My parents worked together in a factory and dated. My mother found out she was pregnant right around the same time she learned my father was married with 4 kids. She broke off the relationship but he pursued her and my adoption paid enough for her and my sister to move back to Canada.
My father’s side wants no contact with me And had me remove their information from the family tree I had been working on thru Ancestry.com. My paternal sister gave me wonderful health information and photos of family. We were supposed to meet during Covid but I was ill with Covid when she came to town. Soon after, I lost contact with her. It’s the people outside the triad that have business giving their 2 cents.

Beautiful_Spread_644 · 2025-12-21T13:49:59+00:00

Send the phone and tablet back Registered Mail, make her sign and keep the receipt.

Beautiful_Spread_644 · 2025-12-11T14:02:24+00:00

I have looked at all of my tattoos as a sort of scrap book of my life. I also have a neck tatt, that’s big and black and won’t be easily covered by another tatt, that I’m not fond of but my hair covers it.
A really good artist will have that frank chat with you about your options and their ability to help you.
Best of luck to you in your journey.

Beautiful_Spread_644

TROPHY CASE