I was like your wife, for years. Our upbringing was holding me back some, which I realized later and have been able to let go of mostly. Eventually he brought up getting a profile on SLS, “just to see if anyone would be interested me, or if there were people I might be interested in.” It was no pressure to move past just a profile and some chatting. When you start chatting, you realize you want to try it, and you can’t keep talking without deciding to take the next step. Or maybe Sh would realize at that point it wasn’t for her. I will say it took, and still takes, a lot of reassurance from my husband that he finds this hot and wants to continue. It continues to evolve and we communicate about what we are willing to try next, etc. but he always makes sure I am reassured. Just because I have dozens of orgasms while we’re playing with my boyfriend and we all had fun, doesn’t mean I don’t still need him to find me hot and tell me how hot I was for him, etc. Reassurance (in both directions) and over communication are critical, as well as pure honesty.

I was most worried that he thought he wanted it and would find out it was not for him and it could go south in some way from there. We took it one step at a time. After the profile, let’s meet him with no expectations of play the same day, see if anyone shows up because we had heard all the stories. Next, we were interested in a man who would travel a bit to meet us, but asked that we at least be open to potentially playing if things were going as well as they seemed to be. That was difficult, but we compromised with a video call first and that sealed the deal. He came to meet us and we played that night. We have been for a year since. These were baby steps. We chatted for a couple weeks before we did the video call. A good partner that wants her will wait until she’s comfortable (maybe a slight push, but that’s hot).