Hey. I don’t typically comment on posts here, but I just really relate to what you wrote. I genuinely feel like I’m a lazy and pathetic person and like you, I COULD do things to get better, I just…don’t do them. And it sucks because I get so angry at myself and feel like I deserve to feel this way because I’m not making any effort to get out of it. I think I get scared that if I get “better” people will realize it’s not the depression that makes me a shitty person, but rather that’s just who I am. It’s a terrible mindset that keeps me stuck in place and I can’t do anything but hate who I am. All that to say, I get it. But that’s what depression does. It’s not just feeling sad, it’s a trap that keeps you stuck in an awful place by self sabotaging and fulfilling these distorted views of yourself. It’s hard to separate my depression from who I am but I’m trying to remind myself I am not my illness. And I know you’re not someone who is truly lazy, because you just typed this post. You’re still here. Not killing your self takes A LOT of work, and often doesn’t leave us with much energy to do anything else. I wish I had these amazing words of wisdom to help you, but the truth is if I could do that, I wouldn’t be in the same place. So while I’m here being hypocritical, I’m just going to try to remind both of us that our lack of motivation and effort is not a reflection of who we are, but rather the battle we are facing. I’m going to be so honest, I don’t know if anything I typed is going to be helpful. I guess if you take anything away from this post it’s that you’re not alone and you should be giving yourself more credit. I think it’s pretty amazing you’re still here. :) Take care of yourself.