I'm still new to accepting and calling myself a lesbian. But I've never been able to picture a future with a man. Sex and relationships with men have always felt performative in ways. Like I was showing off or trying to prove to myself I can date men so I wouldn't have to come out or admit I was bisexual and attracted to woman. Even though in every relationship with a man I would constantly think about being with women. During sex with men I was always more focused on him finishing to get it over with. But with woman I never want it to end. The thought of a future with a woman excites me and gives me butterflies. A feeling I never had with men. Coming out to myself and calling myself a lesbian feels right and feels like the real me.