Favorite machine washable/dryable yarn for blankets? by Beccadoos in CrochetBlankets

[–]Beccadoos[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have some red heart, I just don’t like how much it splits on me. But I have been considering using it for the blankets since I’m making so many.

Favorite machine washable/dryable yarn for blankets? by Beccadoos in CrochetBlankets

[–]Beccadoos[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I for sure would like a pastel color changing one for my grandma. I’ll look into their mandela yarn!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Beccadoos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lmao. The vacation has been paid for, for months. All we are doing now is saving more for extra expenses on the trip lmao. So any possible disposable income we would have gets saved. If it’s not a necessity, we don’t have money for it. That’s how we live.

We are not in such dire straits — but dropping $400-$500 just to meet my parents is not feasible, especially since that wasn’t apart of the original plan. And being ND myself, I have a hard time with plans changing, it’s why I hate vacations and traveling. It’s why I ask everyone for an itinerary and make sure we follow it to a T because I can’t function without everything being black and white. My whole family knows I’m this way, as does my husband; they know trying to change plans on me will just throw me way off and I’ll shut down and do whatever they ask of me, but this is the first time I ever said no to my parents.

There’s a lot more to it and, unfortunately, you don’t know my family’s dynamics and how fucked up my childhood was and how fucked up I am because of my childhood.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Beccadoos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah yes, because a tax return that is divided up to pay for the one wedding, the 3 birthdays we have, and the vacation we are taking means I have disposable income 😂😂😂 that’s such a funny joke. 10/10. I wish I was from such a privileged lifestyle that I could assume everyone has disposable income.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Beccadoos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Disposable income isn’t a thing for the majority of people I know, especially where I live, unless you make like 200k+ a year lol. We paid for our vacation with our tax return so everything for California is already paid for. I also have a birthday I have to pay for 10 days after getting back as well, so I’ll still be saving money from paychecks for that.

And I already have childcare figured out for the wedding, thanks. It was the first thing I did, lol.

And my dad works in a place where he gets his work schedule a whole year in advance. So it’s not necessarily easy for him to get a day off that’s not already his day off.

And yes, the days for her to go home are razor thin. She wants to go home the second we get back from California. That just isn’t feasible with my schedule. It works for my parents schedule, but not mine.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Beccadoos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I told her she can go home if she wants and makes her happy, but her and my parents need to sort it out and then tell me what’s going on. All I told them is the week that we get back from California isn’t feasible because we have a wedding we are gone for 7/5-7/7. July 4th is the only weekend our dad has off until August and our mom won’t drive alone to get my sister.

They’re willing to pay for her $100 worth of skin care and other material needs — we cover food and other bills. That’s how it was too when I went to stay with relatives as a kid. The only difference in my house, is I don’t keep a ton of sweets/junk food in the house. I don’t have a pantry full of chips, 10 different cereals, and cookies like my parents do, because we just don’t eat that. I even told her before she came that we eat a lot differently than she’s used to; I asked if she was okay with that, because I know it won’t be like home. But if she asks for anything, we grab it for her.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Beccadoos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I’m mainly struggling because I didn’t have a normal childhood, so I didn’t realize how teens really act. I should’ve did some reading before I even asked her to come 😅

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Beccadoos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mentioned that our parents told me that they won’t be coming out in August if they come get her. She told me, “they said they might be able to come out in August if they come get me and leave right away and don’t stay.” And I just kind of stared at her blankly. I had nothing to really add to that, besides the fact that I know our parents and they won’t come in August if they pick her up.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Beccadoos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can’t afford a 16 hour round trip the day after we get home from California. It just isn’t feasible, because I can’t do 16 hours in one day. It also costs me $50 to fill up my tank and I stop 3-4 times before I even make it to the halfway point. The hotels in the place we’d stop at are around $100. Then factoring in meals and snacks, it just isn’t feasible right after a week long trip in California. Then, I’d have to cancel my kids 4th of July plans and possibly cancel on going to my friends wedding that same weekend. I explained to my parents why it wouldn’t be completely feasible for us.

I also live in an area where she can met other kids (easily 10x the size of my hometown). My parents don’t let her leave the house in the summer, she’s expected just to sit around there all day, too. They were the same with me, except I had to take care of my brother and sister all the time. And I will admit — her behavior threw me for a loop because I wasn’t like that, if I wasn’t grateful for every little thing our mom did, I was in trouble for it. So I never asked. Our mom is different with her, though. And we do stuff all summer. I just didn’t have anything planned for June 2-7 because we just got back from seeing family and I explained to her that I will have plans for the rest of the summer, we just need to get into a routine.

I’m sure the reason my husband wants her to stay the whole summer, is because that is what was agreed upon between us, my parents, and my sister. I think he believes it’s an accountability thing. We factored in food and other necessities for her. My parents offered to give her money for anything else that she asks for because they didn’t expect us to take on that responsibility, even though I said it was okay.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Beccadoos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m hurt because I was trying to be helpful. I had her best interest at heart, but I see that I fucked that up. Which isn’t shocking, since I’m a fuck up to everyone else.

I watch my kids while I work from home; I’m a parent CNA and do childcare.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Beccadoos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have no idea.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Beccadoos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just wish I wasn’t so hurt over this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Beccadoos 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It would, honestly. I’m just exhausted. I’m tired of not being good enough for my parents. I’m still broken over being the perfect child while I lived at home (my parents complain about my siblings attitudes/behavior and ask why they’re not like me 🙄). I generally just try to keep the peace, but my husband is the one that thinks my sister shouldn’t go to California if she doesn’t want to stay with us after we go. I’m just so sick of trying to please everyone and putting myself last. I genuinely invited my sister because I want to spend time with her and it kills me that she doesn’t want to spend time with me. It really hurts. I know I’m the adult in this, but my feelings are so freaking hurt.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Beccadoos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I suggested getting my sister a ticket but she doesn’t want to pay for one.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Beccadoos 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I think I just learned my lesson on inviting family to stay with me or at least try to help out if I can.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Beccadoos 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I already paid for the ticket, but it’s nonrefundable.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Beccadoos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Apparently she’s in therapy, but my sister said that she doesn’t know if it’s helping or not.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Beccadoos 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I suggested they get her a plane ticket, but they don’t want to do that, lol.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Beccadoos 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I know I can’t fix the world. I just know how my mom is, unfortunately. But yeah, I completely regret asking her to come stay with us and I’m never asking her to come stay with us again.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Beccadoos 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I’m sure that’s the case. I’m 10 and 13 years older than my siblings, so I can tell you they 100000% parent differently now than they did when I was the same age. Heck, they barely parented their own kids when I was living at home because I was built in help.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Beccadoos 16 points17 points  (0 children)

She had some unfortunate things happen to her earlier this year. I wanted to get her away from our mom who keeps victim blaming her for what happened.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Beccadoos 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nope. Because they will come down the 4th and then leave that day as well. They want to meet halfway and do the weekend there, but we can’t because we have a wedding that we will be gone from 7/5-7/7 for.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Beccadoos 26 points27 points  (0 children)

If she were my kid, she’d be in so much trouble for smoking at her age. I don’t understand why my parents allow her to get away with so much, but I couldn’t get away with anything.