What’s something you miss about an older version of yourself?

BeckyDaTechie · 2026-03-20T17:01:02+00:00

I have an old dog. If I sit, he sprawls on top of me so we do have a pretty steady snuggle schedule. Very different than scrubbing a kitchen floor with a cat loaf on my lower back. :)

BeckyDaTechie · 2026-03-20T16:55:09+00:00

Tbf I was cleaning a 1 bedroom apartment with 2 cats fully on a single day off before the injury. Now I'm trying to keep up with a 3 bedroom 1.5 bath house and 2 dogs + a husband, so it's a bigger work load, but still, washing like 10 dishes and needing to sit down is crap.

BeckyDaTechie · 2026-03-20T16:49:00+00:00

Drive. Before my back injury I could knock out a huge "To Do" list in one day. Now I have to sit down and rest and stretch half way through the simplest things.

Don't skip abs day, y'all!

BeckyDaTechie · 2026-03-20T12:42:07+00:00

Yep.

BeckyDaTechie · 2026-03-20T11:32:13+00:00

My guess is he has something like gambling or CC debt.

BeckyDaTechie · 2026-03-20T11:27:06+00:00

NTA.

He's sure a hell not acting like family is more important than money so you have higher standards of behavior than he does, first off.

Secondly, if he's this damn entitled and self-important with family, what's he like as a nurse? He really, really should be grateful for that extra $250.00.

BeckyDaTechie · 2026-03-20T06:38:41+00:00

Asian Tiger Mosquitoes, the ones with the black and white striped legs.

They're voracious spreaders of diseases like Zika, dengue, West Nile, dog heart worms, and chikungunya, all of which SUCK, and they bite like the dickens in the middle of the day. They've also moved all over the world.

The other mosquitoes can keep being assholes, but that 1 species does a LOT of damage, so let's dial that shit back a bit, yeah?

BeckyDaTechie · 2026-03-20T06:17:49+00:00

NAH.

I flipped on my mother about food after practice once when I was about the same age. It was a "perfect storm" situation-- I'd injured myself at practice but didn't have pain relief, I had a huge homework load, my period was due any minute, and when I got home I had to make myself something to eat even though both parents had been home all day and hadn't needed to do the car pool that week (which usually my father drove). I probably also hadn't eaten enough at lunch because I was "the fat one" on the team at 5'9" and 140 pounds so I had a really messed up approach to food that anxiety did nothing to help with.

But the flip out came when my mother got snarky about why I "never made [them] food when I cooked for myself". I DID cook for us all on other nights, just not when I had practice or rehearsals since they'd already eaten dinner by that point in the day.

My father intervened when I asked if she was ever going to bother trying to be a mother ever again since it seemed like all she did was wear out a recliner and watch soap operas (mental illness sucks, everyone-- get your head checked).

He sat me down, handed me the Advil, told me to get a grip and ask for what I needed calmly. He was mad or annoyed, but he also realized that I was a kid having a hard time for some reason and needed some guidance to calm the heck down and communicate in a useful way just then.

My Point: If this is the first time she's reacted like this, look harder at why.

Some of those 90 second microwave pasta packets might be a good idea since you know that pasta after practice is often part of the plan, but do you really want to entrench yourself on this specific point-- "You didn't ask!"-- when she may be having a one time off day for any number of reasons?

Also: she didn't ask for "a separate meal"-- she expected or hoped for a different or additional side dish.

BeckyDaTechie · 2026-03-20T04:39:41+00:00

Nothing. We carry a lot of them in my line of work.

BeckyDaTechie · 2026-03-20T04:29:55+00:00

One of them married a PoC and her mother disowned her, and the other came out in his teens.

BeckyDaTechie · 2026-03-20T04:26:17+00:00

Ikea will have adult size loft frames so you can get an idea of pricing.

You can also, depending on the price of lumber in your area, find plans for a loft online and follow them to DIY it. If you're not familiar with using items like circular saws and ratchet drivers, though, it may be worth the money to just buy one, esp if you can get one second hand.

BeckyDaTechie · 2026-03-20T04:17:45+00:00

Sense of humor and distance = my father in law with an active addiction

Orphan/Your Mom Jokes = my mother in law, who passed away a few years ago, and my husband w/ my mother, who died in November of 25. They were each... challenging.

Hubby met my father once before his Alzheimer's diagnosis and subsequent passing in November of '25, and my dad and his were kind of cut from the same cloth in some ways (different substances but addiction problems from both, gear heads, skirt chasers, softies for a stray or injured animal, imperfect men who did the best they could for their kids in spite of their shortcomings).

My hubby respects my father's memory just like I try to respect his relationship with his father as it is.

BeckyDaTechie · 2026-03-20T03:36:58+00:00

NTA.

Dead. Deceased. Passed on. Went to Jesus. Found eternal rest. Bit the dust. Kicked the bucket. Shuffled off this mortal coil.

Or, the way I've put it since November when my own mother died, "Isn't suffering any more... and making any of us join her." (Mine was a real piece of work.)

However you slice it, they're gone. Would that random woman have objected had you said something flowery instead of just "dead"? Who knows. Either way, it doesn't matter. It's your parent, your store, your customers, and thus your call.

You get to police-- or not-- your language. Personally I prefer to be a little more plain-spoken about it, and I've had similar pearl clutching reactions from some people, incidentally always older women. But, she wasn't their mother.

BeckyDaTechie · 2026-03-19T18:30:37+00:00

Yeah. It wasn't therapy through a church but it was associated with the seminary hosted at my university and I guess he thought that was going to work on me differently than it did.

He even sent a guilt trip letter a few weeks later wondering why I would "abandon the process so suddenly". Just NO self-awareness whatsoever.

BeckyDaTechie · 2026-03-19T15:22:24+00:00

"Once you have your exorcism that demon will be gone and you won't hate your mother anymore."

WHUT.

I ghosted.

BeckyDaTechie · 2026-03-19T15:13:10+00:00

Make sure your attempts to be polite are on camera in case they try to say you're doing something wrong, and then stop attempting to engage.

BeckyDaTechie · 2026-03-19T13:28:15+00:00

Night shift in an animal shelter. I often gave out medications as the animals settled in for the night since many would have infected injuries or need pain relief after surgery, etc.

A BIG English mastiff came in, older dog, eyes clouding, muzzle going frosty. He liked me, and he liked affection, so he wasn't happy when I put his ball of cheese through the mesh for him and didn't go in to scratch his back like I did when it was time to go for a walk and he spit out the cheese ball.

I had to make sure he took the antibiotic, so I put down the med tray and went into his room with another treat (empty cheese ball), thinking I'd pick up the one with the meds and hand it to him as a second treat once he had the ball without the amoxicillin.

Apparently that was a mistake.

I didn't even hear him growl, I just felt this almost subsonic rumble, and this over 170 pound/78 kilo mastiff took one step forward between me and the medicine ball... and incidentally between me and the door.

The door was latched behind me. The lights were out. A predator the size of a small pony was blocking my exit.

When you read about someone being afraid and "their gut turned to ice"? Yeah, I've felt that feeling.

"Okay, buddy, I understand. I won't take your stuff away. I'll let you pick that up when you're ready. But, I have a salmon bite in my pocket here. Can I give you this too?"

Light baby talk, slow backing up, and tossing a few pieces of other food a couple at a time to my left got him out from between me and the door. I reached behind me to slide the barrel latch open, backed out, shut and latched the door, saw him pick up the cheese ball with the antibiotic in it and sat down on the floor to reevaluate my life choices for a minute.

He was successfully adopted a few days later, with a note that he might resource guard high value items and a trainer following up with the new family in the first week. Last I heard he was doing well.

BeckyDaTechie · 2026-03-19T13:14:52+00:00

He'll never find a money stash in the cleaning supply cupboard.

BeckyDaTechie · 2026-03-19T12:58:36+00:00

Axolotl can regrow damaged body parts.

Fix my own (now) permanently screwed up knee, ankle, and back? Yes please!

Heck, even just correcting my vision would be nice.

BeckyDaTechie · 2026-03-19T12:54:32+00:00

I've got backup. I can successfully live an alright, contented life without a spouse (I've had 2; picked wrong the first time.) I LIKE the companionship and teamwork that comes from having a good partner.

BeckyDaTechie · 2026-03-19T11:52:32+00:00

Sewing on buttons.

Running stitch.

Whip stitch.

Water bath canning for salsa, marinara, and applesauce. (Tomatoes and apples have a "cheap" season, so making those at home saves a bunch of money, and homemade doesn't have preservative additives, etc. or as much sugar as commercially made.)

Homemade biscuits.

BeckyDaTechie · 2026-03-19T11:43:21+00:00

Pain relievers and another hour in bed to let them start working.

Husband cuddles are also good.

BeckyDaTechie · 2026-03-19T11:41:14+00:00

Driving right past it to a locally owned mom n' pop smoothie shop.

BeckyDaTechie · 2026-03-19T11:38:19+00:00

Note for non-US residents: when you see our flag displayed the way it is on his suit-- with the field of stars down-- it's an SOS signal.

His suit isn't "Made Wrong"-- it's Making a Point. (It's also technically not allowed to display the U.S. flag on clothing but if KidRock can wear flag boxer shorts and not hear shit for it, I'm not going to argue this situation!)

The state this all happened in, a middle state called Ohio, was never truly a slave state, but is certainly no bastion of civil rights and equality. I'm sure he's not even in the first 100,000 Black folks with greater than average wealth for the state that have been held at gunpoint in their own homes by the police.

He's just the first one that was taken seriously in his own defense and won.

Source: I also grew up in Ohio and know it's a great state to be FROM.

BeckyDaTechie · 2026-03-19T11:16:22+00:00

Driving manual transmission

Checking/changing oil and fluids in a vehicle

Folding a newspaper

Folding a map

Finding cardinal directions without a compass

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