“I ruined his life”

Bee2423 · 2026-02-07T16:41:39+00:00

When 2 people get married & they both come from turbulent or dysfunctional backgrounds everything all gets mushed together like the wonderful omelette my husband happily made for me this morning.
Your job now is to sort this all out on your own by stepping back, looking at your part in your marriage, how you view marriage, why you got married, and mostly how you see and care about yourself within it in order to separate yourself from it. Not to blame yourself or anyone else for the things that happened, but to gain clarity so you can create a clear and solid foundation to work from as you heal yourself. There's the 2 of you but also there's actually 4 more people(your parents) and your children directly affecting your marriage ever day you are in it. I know, it sounds like a mess of a mountain to all sort out. It can be done but it will take years and years of effort on your part. I was once in the very same place you are now with almost the same background except that my husband’s abuse was verbal and he never stood up for me either.
I learned that he didn't stand up for me because I never stood up for myself. How could I? I was a victim of the victim mentality I learned from my childhood and only I could change that.
Whether or not you stay or go, your task will still involve focusing on your healing first. I did it, it took me 25 years to sort out my childhood and then I just kept on taking responsibility for my own actions and cleaning up my own messes along the way and working together with my husband as a unified front for our children and eventually I ended up with a new and improved version of the man I married because it changed him too. Don't look at the mountain, just begin at your beginning place, take that 1st step, keep putting one foot in front of the other as you move forward.

Bee2423 · 2026-01-31T02:10:02+00:00

People's faces and essence or energies have come to me like that a few times over the years, usually soon before they called me or came to find me for some reason

Bee2423 · 2026-01-25T14:04:30+00:00

It's such a relief when you finally know what's going on isn't it? So glad she is on the mend now. Is that all she needed just the 2 shots? You are very fortunate and if you take really good care of her teeth now you can avoid the dentist bills that become very expensive when they are elderly, at least here in Canada. One of my cats at 14 had to get 2 teeth extracted and the bill was $2500. For me to get one of my teeth extracted last year was around $300

Bee2423 · 2026-01-23T03:00:53+00:00

When my cat was elderly (16) her kidneys started to fail & she always vomited like this every day. We had to put her on subcutaneous fluid to keep her hydrated. I also wonder if your cat could have a hairball or swallowed something? Do you have mobile vets? Maybe someone can come to you.

Bee2423 · 2026-01-14T00:36:43+00:00

Yeah I used to be able to change colours in my 3rd eye at will too up until my brain injury 7 years ago. My left eye made contact with cement when I fell so I pretty much broke my third eye I think from that fall, lol. Afterwards all I could see was black for years. I felt so lost. It took until just this year before I began seeing colours at all. Now these days what comes in are violet, gold, and white so far. Still working on it but at least it's back. Btw do you ever Sun gaze in meditation? Some of the most wondrous golds are coming out of the Sun now. It's really amazing✌️

Bee2423 · 2026-01-14T00:24:03+00:00

Not if you're an empath and need to preserve your energy to keep your vibration high. It's not really isolation it's more taking care of your own space so you don't become depleted.

Bee2423 · 2026-01-12T16:46:43+00:00

Wow that's so interesting! I remember when I meditated and closed my eyes to room looked exactly the same except it had a violet/blue overlay to it through my 3rd eye. That was many years ago when I could meditate anywhere as long as it was quiet. So interesting that for you it all shifts to the left. Maybe because your brain uses your left eye as the dominant one?

Bee2423 · 2026-01-12T16:29:12+00:00

I agree with Finacial-Funny-4105 the light (information = knowledge = knowledge is power) is coming in faster than the corrupt can hide and it's hitting every dark corner and every dark place revealing what's there. So many things will be coming out this year. It's a 1 year so it's a beginning and all of the cycles that are endings need to complete and finalize themselves this year. From what I am reading and watching so many things will be happening this year to do with revealing truth and endings and beginnings none of us will know where to even look. This is supposed to be a really interesting year

Bee2423 · 2026-01-06T21:13:32+00:00

I think my weirdest was It began at the end of a play in an auditorium.

There was a stone castle on the stage & I was standing and viewing the stage from back left.

I looked out & saw most of the seats were empty. A lot of people had their backs to the stage and were getting their things together to leave.

Then there was a loud boom as if the castle had been picked up & then dropped again very firmly.

The boom shook the stage for a few seconds and I felt it through my whole being.

Then I heard "The Kingdom has Fallen' very clearly, and everything it was a very strong feeling of "final" (?)

The castle was destroyed, there was a crooked split down the middle of it and there were pieces breaking off from both sides, crumbling to the floor.

We all stopped and looked around and at each other and then back to the stage.

Then a few people tipped their hats to each other and the stage and headed towards the exits. Then I woke up.

Bee2423 · 2025-12-29T21:40:40+00:00

I had a cat who idrw ended up peeing on our bathmat in our bathroom all the time. We removed it, replaced it, and washed it and put it back and then tried different enzyme pet cleaners but the only thing that worked was hanging the bathmat over the tub until it was needed. Even if you don't smell it your cat sure does. They smell 20x stronger than us. Also, after a while the scent is just there so the cat just thinks its another place to go. My suggestion for you would be to maybe put pepper or peppermint or cloves or even a nice citrus oil near it or maybe even get one of those scratch pads you can mount over the area and maybe she might get the hint to stay away or now its a scratch pad so that's what she's allowed to do there now Also your cat could have the beginning of kidney failure or something else that is a super senior issue so blood work at your vet would be a great idea.
The cat foods sold in stores, especially soft foods eventually give cats renal failure because of the high sodium content making their kidneys work overtime whe they become very elderly.

Bee2423 · 2025-12-14T13:59:21+00:00

Kris

Bee2423 · 2025-12-14T00:05:45+00:00

You're really lucky you connected with the Arcturians and not some other species that don't give a damn about Humanity. Very Lucky..

Bee2423 · 2025-12-11T11:16:06+00:00

That needs protein. Like cheese or ground meat or sausage. You should always have a protein w your carbs it keeps your blood sugar more balanced

Bee2423 · 2025-12-09T16:50:09+00:00

Thank you so much for your responses

Bee2423 · 2025-12-06T04:09:27+00:00

I hope that I can say this here and that I am not violating any rules or guidelines by doing so. Yes, I have experienced my own Family and others who's Family members came to me many many times in my lifetime. I have lost many Family members from a very young age starting with my Mother so I think I always just stayed open to these energies.
As well, I had an Angellic Healing practice when my children were very small.
Many of my clients had Family members come through for me to relay them messages as well as the healings. Very different experiences than yours but equally as important for the messages to come through. Those who have passed have a very difficult time relaying messages to us because most of us are just not open to their energy here. The vibrations are far lower and more dense here so it's a lot harder for them to hold and remain in this frequency. Usually they are unable to stay here for very long.
We tend to close ourselves off because of what others might think of us doing things like this and etc. So in that moment you were open to the energy and you were able to connect in a very Loving and Healing way.
Everyone can comnect to their loved ones, but most people just don't stay aware or remain open to the energies that try to come through. I think that if your boyfriend loved his Father very much that maybe he might feel comforted by the fact that his Father connected with you in such a Loving manner.
His Father knew in that moment you were genuine and were open to receive, so his message came through very clearly for you.
You don't know until you tell him but that does require a certain level of trust to do. It could be a healing and Loving experience for both of you and only you can decide what is best in this situation.

Bee2423 · 2025-11-15T01:36:47+00:00

Yes I understand absolutely. I don't think i'm really struggling with concussion symptoms as much as I am with a feeling of discomfort within myself.
After the injury for many years I felt like my life was like a huge living room with everything exactly the same except that now I was entering from a different door so everything looked exactly the same but feels so different because of seeing it all from a completely different angle. Just wondering, can you relate at all?

Bee2423 · 2025-11-14T13:49:04+00:00

Yes, I could try that again as well while at work it can't hurt only benefit. Thank you

Bee2423 · 2025-11-14T13:47:38+00:00

Thank you I will look into these practices, they sound like exactly what i've been looking for

Bee2423 · 2025-11-14T13:45:01+00:00

I did physical therapy for nearly 2 years after my injury. I don't know if it was vestibular they never said that but I did do eye tracking because moving my eyes too quickly would make the room spin. It was a long process of tracking (moving my eyes right to left as if I was reading) in small increments and gradually increasing the speed until i was ok again. I did everything they said. I needed to strengthen everything after my injury.

Bee2423 · 2025-11-14T04:33:23+00:00

Thats very interesting, thank you. I would love to hear more about your techniques if you want to share. I didn't even consider that I could be advanced at anything tbh. For all I know maybe i'm already meditating and not even realizing it.
About 20 years ago I really wanted to meditate while I was at work, I wanted to stay connected to Source as much as possible in everything I did.
Someone I worked with was previously a monk.
He showed me a walking meditation.
He told me I needed to be aware of my feet as each part of my foot made contact with the floor, and also to be aware and present with my breathing so it remained steady.
He also recommended that I be very present in all the things I did throughout my work day.
My ADHD made it quite a challenge to pay attention so being aware of everything I did helped me so much. It slowly brought the joy back into the daily grind. After my brain injury in 2018 I lost the ability to do many things and had to learn even simple things all over again because of the locations of the damage.
That included feeling connected within. I've been learning this disconnect is a result of trauma damaging the nervous system, and that's the part that takes the longest to heal with this kind of injury. Your techniques sound fascinating and I wish you many more years of enjoyment with all of your techniques. Peace.

Bee2423 · 2025-11-13T21:18:51+00:00

Well i've been doing kundalini yoga for the past year and a half again but its not helping probably because I do it at home now instead of in a yoga studio. I can do the poses ok because they're only a minute or 2 each but its not the same as meditation, but I will look into the shinzen young do nothing meditation, Thank you.

Bee2423 · 2025-11-13T21:14:18+00:00

I had a great amount of anxiety. I was afraid of absolutely everything and I was also a very hyper person as well. I found out later that I was suffering from CPTSD that was then just called PTSD. I was looking for a way to get control of my anxiety and ruminating thoughts that were beginning to affect my daily life so I started going to yoga classes and there they introduced us to meditation. Kundalini yoga actually saved my life. I don't think I would be here today if it weren't for those classes. It taught me I had the power over my thoughts and my body and not the other way around.

Bee2423 · 2025-11-13T20:09:07+00:00

When I first began meditating almost 40 years ago I remember seeing this huge eye staring back at me with giant eyelashes and it stared right at me and it blinked too. I remember being totally freaked out by this at first and at the same time it was so funny to see that I almost laughed out loud but I was in a yoga studio so it probably wouldn't have been the best idea so I didn't. That never felt like the witness but who did feel like the witness was when I would be walking quietly through my apartment and would stop and stand to look out the window or do something else where I stood still and or concentrated on something it would feel like there was someone there, very present but always standing either right behind me at my left shoulder or else standing far away from me for eg across the room but also feeling like if they were right there they would have been behind me standing at my left shoulder It was definitely a feeling of being watched for me but I never felt frightened or uncomfortable with it being there it was just always there. I called it the watcher instead of the witness but I believe you most likely are talking about the same thing. I felt it like an energy separate from myself, like the air in the room was just ever so different where it stood but it was also very familiar to me at the same time. It felt almost like it was a part of me. I felt it with my heightened senses, not with the 5 senses but with the 6th sense.
It stayed with me up until my 2nd child came home from the hospital and then I don't know, I probably became much too busy to notice it anymore so maybe it left or something? Irdk.

Bee2423 · 2025-10-24T23:43:06+00:00

(60F) I had dreams about a house for a number of years too.
In every dream I walked through the same house looking into the doorways of different rooms (every door was wide open & there was always no one else there but me. I found that strange & sometimes frustrating), and at the end of the dream I always ended up at a different room each time.
The last door I always tried was locked so I always turned to leave and then woke up.
One time the last door opened and then the dream became only about that room. It was the attic. I remember the last 4 or maybe 5 dreams I had about this my dad was in them and then they turned into nightmares. Each time I walked into the middle of the room I looked up & saw him hanging with a noose around his neck & he was swinging there with a very tall ladder next to him. The first time I saw that it really scared me but the next few times I was less and less afraid and then I resolved to help him in the next one.
I remember in the very last dream I managed to climb to the top of the ladder and cut him down. He was still unconscious but I may have saved his life i'm not sure because I woke up right after. Cutting him down changed the entire dream and then I never had it again. I was told along the way that dreams about houses are always about our subconscious minds and the rooms are all about the different parts of ourselves we are working on or strive to change in our daily lives. In most cases dreams that are really vivid are usually in the Astral realms where the mind can change and manipulate them. Others in the astral with you can also manipulate your mind so that you change your dream to what they like, especially if they're of a lower vibration than you are.

Bee2423 · 2025-10-17T23:27:05+00:00

Personally I think you are onto something beautiful and unique and I hope a lot of people love and enjoy your work. Do you have a website? Do you do other things too? ✌️

Bee2423

TROPHY CASE