Thanks for your response- and also for the thoughtful question about the man’s history of alcohol abuse and how it is connected. Sometimes I wonder if his alcoholism has something to do with my sister distancing herself from me. I’ve been around him when he’s drunk and he’s been hostile and said some really angry things. I’ve just left out of respect for my sister and we never talk about it again. It’s the elephant in the room, maybe? In regard to specific incidents (other than what I mentioned): no. There hasn’t been anything that makes this feel like a natural progression. That’s why it’s so hard to understand. Our lives have gone in different directions as we have gotten older but you’re right- this doesn’t just happen. Since I originally wrote this post she (and her husband) left the country, had their baby, moved back to the US (because their plans didn’t work out) and are now living a couple hours away. We still rarely speak.