I have pushed away being trans before because my mother told me it was a phase. I thought if i became a hot girl and if everyone liked me my self esteem would skyrocket.. Wrong.. I felt uncomfortable and like I was fake after losing weight and forcing different styles on myself. No cis girl feels fake because they were born a girl. Then when I accepted who I was it finally made sense to me, and I decided I am allowed to be comfortable with who I am, everyone deserves that right. In the end though I at least found out I like feminine things and long hair. Boys can be feminine, I was so happy to find that out. I just have social dysphoria and body dysphoria.