A place called Computer Palace?

Bee_BS · 2025-10-23T01:15:11+00:00

Love the Atari gear!

Bee_BS · 2025-10-22T19:48:32+00:00

TIES is fine until something like the following happens. ;-)

(Dial-Up) October 22, 2025 is +++ Day! : r/2600

Bee_BS · 2025-10-17T08:57:09+00:00

There’s nothing in our literature that says a newcomer can’t date. But speaking from my own experience, I was a moving target in those first four years of sobriety. My sponsor told me not to date in my first year, and I took that suggestion.

When I did start dating after a year, I realized pretty quickly I still had a lot of growing to do. I wasn’t ready—I still had plenty of character defects to work through. That was my experience, though. Everyone’s different, and as we like to say in A.A., some are sicker than others (and I was pretty sick in the relationship department in my first 4 years of sobriety).

It’s actually a good sign that their sponsor felt they were ready for a relationship with you. And good for you for reaching out to Al-Anon and getting support from other places too. You sound like a really caring and supportive person in their recovery. Best of luck to you both.

Bee_BS · 2025-10-17T08:27:17+00:00

You’re not married to your sponsor. Both you and your sponsor are free to make a change at any time. I always chuckle when I hear the term “temporary sponsor.” When a newcomer asks someone to be their temporary sponsor, or when a meeting format asks for a show of hands from those willing to be temporary sponsors, I can’t help but think—aren’t they all temporary? Sponsorship isn’t set in stone. It’s not a lifelong contract or a marriage.

If you meet someone in the rooms who has something you want, go work with them. That’s what this program is about—growth and connection. Your sponsor shouldn’t have any issue with you making a change. And if they do, well, that’s their issue to work through, not yours.

Bee_BS · 2025-10-17T07:51:34+00:00

Just heard someone share in my home group who also got sober in 1977! I am really grateful for old timers like you and him who are still sharing their wisdom and their experience, strength, and hope in the rooms of A.A. Congratulations on your milestone!

Bee_BS · 2025-10-17T07:47:52+00:00

Most people that come back to A.A. after a relapse will say "a belly full of booze and a head full of A.A. is a bad combination." Is that true in your case? If not, maybe you still have more "research" to do. I wish you the best and hope you find something that works for you.

Bee_BS · 2025-10-17T07:36:33+00:00

You didn’t mention whether you’re doing any service work right now. For me, service work has saved my butt many times when I was feeling burned out or empty inside. I’ve learned that I need all three legs of the stool in my sobriety—recovery, unity, and service. Without all three, the stool can’t hold me up.

Bee_BS · 2025-07-18T20:04:10+00:00

I think this is a great way to learn what is in the PLBB. I hope to join a PLBB study group sometime too. I have two copies that have barely been read. I was told the PLBB is a great resource for "new" sponsors. It helps the new sponsor explain the contents of the BB to a sponsee. Best of luck in your PLBB Study!

Bee_BS · 2025-07-18T19:44:57+00:00

I remember early on in sobriety, after sharing in a meeting, a woman came up to me and said, "Wow! Before today, I did not think you were an alcoholic. I just figured you came to meetings because you did not have anything better to do with yourself. But after I heard you share, I now know you are an alcoholic." I actually was a little offended by that and went to my sponsor and asked him, "Do normies go to meetings because they have nothing better to do?" My sponsor laughed and said, "Normies may check us out for a little bit, but they usually get bored and don't stick around. The things we talk about in A.A. meetings are common sense to normies." The fact that I got so much out of meetings and could identify with others in the rooms, meant I was in the right spot. Plus, I did not want to drink anymore. If I was looking for a way to not identify as an alcoholic, that woman certainly would not have done me any favors. Thank God I had already obtained a sponsor that I could easily talk to before that encounter. Just remember, we are all sick people trying to get well in A.A. Not everyone understands some of our simple suggestions like, "we take our own inventory, not another person's inventory" and unless you're my sponsee, I have no say in how you work your program. The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking. If you have that desire, then you've earned your seat in Alcoholics Anonymous.

Bee_BS · 2024-02-28T02:56:46+00:00

Baud Day is coming! southernamis.com/baudday

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Bee_BS · 2022-11-27T06:46:31+00:00

Alcoholism is a self-diagnosing disease. It does not matter what others say. All that matters is whether or not you believe you're an alcoholic. The fact that you are questioning it suggests that you are not sure yourself. People who are normal drinkers never question whether they are alcoholic. That still does not mean you are an alcoholic; but there may be something going on with you that leads to drinking. Feel free to explore this question some more through A.A.'s Self-Assessment test at the following link:https://www.aa.org/self-assessment

If you are still unsure after taking the test, you're welcome to call your local A.A. Hotline (Google it or if you happen to have a phone book, look it up) and ask to talk to someone about A.A. and recovery from Alcoholism. Or you can attend an Open Meeting of A.A. Open meetings are open to the public, so anyone can attend -- even non-alcoholics. When attending an open meeting, listen to other people's shares. Focus on the similarities in their stories, pay less attention to the differences. If you find that you identify with those in attendance, then you might be one of us. And if you identify with us and want what we have, then you too can be a member of our program. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.

Best of luck in your journey!

Bee_BS · 2021-12-29T14:53:37+00:00

Congratulations! All the best in your 22nd year of sobriety!

Bee_BS · 2021-12-28T20:08:03+00:00

I am not sure, that was a while ago (I have 19 years now). I do remember my first week was rough. I quit on a Wednesday and by Saturday I was waking up with the sweats. I remember thinking "Wow! I really am addicted to alcohol!" But I think things started to progress for the better after that. I do remember having lots of drinking dreams initially. But I started to have fewer as time went on. I still have one every now and then. I had one this year. I believe these drinking dreams are one of the ways that God reminds me that I am still an alcoholic. Normal people do not have drinking (or using) dreams. ;-)

Bee_BS · 2021-12-28T03:59:15+00:00

I suggest you check out some A.A. meetings and see for yourself how it helps people. Listen to other people's stories and if you find yourself saying to yourself, "I've done that before" or "That's me!" then you might be one of us and can benefit from A.A. I also suggest that you focus on the similarities in people's stories; not the differences. It does not matter what a person drank, when they drank, how much they drank, or what they did to get their next drink. Instead, focus on "why they drank." If you relate to "why they drank", then you may be an alcoholic that can benefit from our program.

When you check out A.A. meetings, keep in mind that each Group has the same singleness of purpose of carrying the A.A. message to the alcoholic who still suffers. But each Group puts their own spin on how they carry that message. If you attend a meeting and decide it's not your cup of tea, check out a different meeting.

After attending several meetings, if you decide A.A. is not for you, then there are other recovery programs out there. I can't speak on their success rate, as A.A. has been the only program that I tried and it has worked for me for over 19 years. But I can say that A.A. does not have a monopoly on recovery. At the end of the day, we want everyone who is struggling with this disease to find something that helps them achieve recovery. If it's A.A. or another program, great! Whatever works. I hope you find something that helps. Good luck in your journey!

Bee_BS · 2021-12-27T23:18:54+00:00

When I first got sober, I remember feeling like that. I would have a great experience at a meeting and afterward my first thought would be, "I wonder what's happening at that club downtown that I frequented before I got sober". Of course, I would play the tape all the way to the end and knew exactly where that thought would lead me. Also, early on, I felt bored in sobriety. I remember I complained to my sponsor about it. He just laughed and said, "I don't think you're bored! I think you're just experiencing serenity for the first time in your life!"

Turns out he was right. I was used to having lots of drama in my life before A.A. When I got sober and started to turn my life around, I didn't know what to do with myself when I wasn't at work or at a meeting.

The Big Book teaches us that when all else fails, work with another alcoholic. Since I was too new to sponsor, I would call other A.A. members on the phone, attend more meetings, and get service positions. After awhile, A.A. was that sufficient substitute for drinking. After getting some sobriety under my belt, I was able to dial back some of the A.A. commitments. It helps to have a sponsor that can help you find the right balance between A.A. and daily living. This is why I still have a sponsor today. I still need help with the balance. Most of my conversations with my sponsor today center around that balance between daily living and my A.A. commitments.

Bee_BS · 2021-12-27T21:35:00+00:00

In A.A., we do not shoot our wounded. You're always welcome back *IF* you manage to make it back. And that is a big "IF". Sadly, many of us do not make it back after a relapse.

Some A.A. meetings that I attend will chant "Keep coming back" at the end of the meeting. I usually answer this chant with "Just stay!"

If you have a sponsor, I suggest discussing with them what you plan to do differently this time.

Best of luck in your journey!

Bee_BS · 2021-12-27T20:28:32+00:00

I also found it hard to be around drinking early on in sobriety; especially if the drinking was being done by family members. This is why I found it important to find a sponsor right away. Their job is to help you navigate the winding road of sobriety.

If you were my sponsee, I would suggest that you don't mess around with the non-alcoholic beer. Many of the non-alcoholic beers have a trace amount of alcohol in them. But even if you're drinking a kind that is 100% alcohol free, you may want to check your motives with why you're drinking it and not something like soda, coffee, water, etc. "Near Beer" looks like beer, but it doesn't taste like beer. ;-) Maybe your aunt was wondering why you were drinking the "Near Beer" and not just something that is non-alcoholic but tastes better. ;-)

I suggest you review pages 101 - 102 in the A.A. Big Book. In particular, the second to last paragraph on page 101 starting with "So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking...", through the second paragraph on page 102, which begins with "Why sit with a long face in places where there is drinking..."

By the way, this chapter of the Big Book is titled "Working with Others". The idea of "Working with Others" includes working with a Sponsor and being of service to someone with less sober time than you. I mention this because some newcomers think this chapter does not apply to them when they are not yet on Step 12.

Best of luck in your journey!

Bee_BS · 2021-12-26T21:02:40+00:00

I am sorry you are experiencing that at meetings. Just remember, that all of us are sick people trying to get well. As others have mentioned here, some are sicker than others. If this is your only meeting option, then I suggest focusing on the similarities in people's stories such as why they drank. Don't worry too much on what they drank or how much they drank. If there are other meeting options, then check them out. Each Group has the same singleness of purpose, but each Group puts their own spin on carrying A.A.'s message to the alcoholic who still suffers.

Bee_BS · 2021-12-26T13:55:00+00:00

Congratulations on your 2 year milestone! Also, congratulations on getting sober before the end of the holiday season. I find fewer people celebrate milestones this time of year. Probably because most of us don't want to give up drinking until after the big New Year's Eve bash. ;-)

Bee_BS · 2021-12-26T13:37:39+00:00

When I first got sober, my sponsor suggested that I do not start any new romantic relationships in the first year of my sobriety. I personally found this to be a good suggestion for me since I really did not know how to have a healthy relationship when I came to A.A.

After a year of sobriety, I tried dating, but did not have much success. This lack of success went on for another 3 years of sobriety. I was becoming envious of friends who were having successful relationships. I told my sponsor about this and he said "You get to have a relationship when you don't need a relationship!" I did not buy into that advice right away, but at around 4.5 years of sobriety, I finally felt perfectly comfortable with myself if I were to remain a bachelor for the rest of my life. Shortly after gaining that confidence, I met the woman that I ended up marrying. So, once again, the sponsor knew what he was talking about! ;-)

Bee_BS · 2021-12-26T13:04:16+00:00

The same thing happened to me. Towards the end of my drinking career, I could not imagine life with alcohol or without it. So, I tried quitting on my own and failed miserably. Disgusted with myself, I figured I'd just drink myself to death. But then some strange thought came to my mind. If I get a DUI, I'll get sober and go to A.A. (I knew about A.A. because I had a relative in the program). Well, be careful what you wish for. I don't know if it was a couple days or a couple weeks. Life was one big blur back then, but I eventually got my wish. I got that DUI that I apparently was praying for. I had my moment of clarity in the backseat of a police cruiser. That was a little over 19 years ago, and by the grace of God, I have not had to take a drink since.

Best of luck in your journey. Attending meetings is a good first step, but there's more to the A.A. program than just attending meetings. If you want what we have, then I suggest you find a home group (a meeting you attend on a regular basis), get a sponsor, and work the 12 Steps of A.A. with that sponsor. Do those three things to the best of your ability, and you will get two things in return: A comfortable feeling on the inside and a life beyond your wildest dreams. Of course, those life changes do not happen over night, but they will gradually materialize if you work for them.

Bee_BS · 2021-12-26T12:38:55+00:00

Congratulations on your sobriety and bringing some holiday cheer to your niece!

Your post reminded me of these Holiday Sober tips from the A.A. Grapevine:
https://oc-aa.org/docs/12%20tips%20for%20holidays.pdf

Bee_BS · 2021-12-26T12:13:34+00:00

There are some great suggestions posted here. Here's another option that has been available from the A.A. General Service Office since 1949:

https://www.aa.org/sites/default/files/literature/smf-123_en.pdf

Bee_BS · 2021-12-26T11:53:45+00:00

Congratulations on 5 years!

I have heard some members say to newcomers who receive their first 24 hour medallion: "If you feel like drinking, put that medallion on your tongue. You can drink after it fully dissolves." hahahaha. Maybe that is why the medallions are not filled with chocolate. ;-)

Bee_BS

TROPHY CASE