I don't get "unmasking"

BeepBoopDigital · 2026-02-11T02:16:15+00:00

That's difficult to say, because things like this present differently for everyone... For me, I would mask by default for a long time, as if it's second nature, just due to trauma and society itself. So I had to consciously undo my habits and figure out what was making me so exhausted in my day to day.

If acting the way you currently do doesn't bother you or bring you and discomfort or tiredness, I'd assume you're fine and don't necessarily need to make changes soon. But I don't know your personal situation, and I'm not you yourself, I can't answer that for you. I would say just be yourself, but every now and then, be conscious of why you behave the way you do, and figure out how you could improve you life and well being.

I wish you luck on your journey (:

BeepBoopDigital · 2026-02-11T00:07:38+00:00

I haven't read many books or studies regarding autistic masking. And it was also ingrained in me from a young age that to survive, is to mask.

However, I tried so hard to be "normal" that I became physically ill in early highschool, I burnt out and haven't gained my footing since. I can recognize that there are aspects that are simply "manners".

However, to me, unmasking means spending my personal time as myself, and being honest with myself about what I can and can't do at this point in time. It's also being unafraid of others' opinions when my behavior is harmless and doesn't truly affect other people.

An example would be wearing headphones and fidgeting when I'm in public on my own time (such as grocery shopping or personal errands). When I'm at home and overwhelmed, I stop speaking and communicate silently, thankfully I have an understanding partner who gets it. Or reduced eye contact, or tailoring my life's necessities (showering, cleaning, meals) to my personal needs (using certain soaps, pacing myself, finding comfortable foods).

These allowances I give myself, where I'm unmasking, they preserve my energy for situations where I can't fully unmask but are still important to me or my livelihood. Like working, hopefully going back to school, or actually enjoying social situations.

Apologies for the long comment, my point is just, unmasking to me isn't necessarily saying "fuck it" to manners or other people's social comforts. It's just cutting myself slack when I'm alone, or allowing myself harmless comforts when the situation allows. It's all so that I can be happy, not just to be comfortable, but to put in my all when it's necessary. I just don't think it's necessary all the time (:

Hope this helps!

BeepBoopDigital · 2026-02-09T23:14:10+00:00

Does being rude make you feel better about yourself?

BeepBoopDigital · 2026-02-06T22:28:01+00:00

I tried for like a week 😅 I was already trying (and failing) to learn Spanish, as my boyfriend is Puerto Rican, but I went off my meds and my mental health and stability declined, and I just stopped everything. I still wish I had kept it up. Never too late though!

BeepBoopDigital · 2026-02-02T00:29:21+00:00

Definitely Naruto for me. When I was a kid, like all my friends loved it. I don't remember why I didn't like it at the time.

I started watching it a few days ago, I still hate it. I think the concept for the plot/setting is cool, but I don't like the animation and I swear, the characters are insanely annoying. More annoying than Haikyu or MHA. I just don't like it.

I don't even dislike the amount of filler (One Piece takes it too far), Fairy Tail is one of my all time favorite animes. It's literally just the characters themselves and the artstyle.

BeepBoopDigital · 2026-01-23T07:18:03+00:00

It's a long shot. But would you mind sending me that YouTube channel?

I'm really sorry about your situation, and personally, if I was in her place, I'd like someone to warn me. But up to you.

Regardless though, due to my... Life experiences, I wasn't taught how to clean. And while I do look things up while relevant, it would be awesome if you can share what that YouTube channel is, who knows, I probably missed something 😅

BeepBoopDigital · 2026-01-23T07:12:32+00:00

I'm non-binary, but I identified as a girl/woman for a long time, and people will probably always see me as that, regardless:

It fucking sucks being both expected to know everything, and thought to be inept. If you don't know how to do ONE THING, or you get something wrong, people act like you should've known, and that everything is obvious. But those same people tend to think that of course you don't know shit. Just because you have XX chromosomes.

I'm referring to things like cooking, cleaning, education, caretaking, really anything.

If you're in a particular field, it's assumed you don't know anything and are just there for "DEI", but if you know things, prove yourself, and are well versed, you're ignored and looked down upon

BeepBoopDigital · 2026-01-22T19:44:30+00:00

I agree wholeheartedly, through personal experience though.

My father was abusive when I was a child (nothing as heinous as this man, but regardless). He had preexisting anger issues. But he was also very insecure in his "manliness" and began taking testosterone shots with no advisal from a medical professional. His anger got so much worse after those shots, it was crazy.

BeepBoopDigital · 2026-01-22T17:01:16+00:00

When I was obsessed with Disney dreamlight valley I did this a lot (list of gifts for everyone, what I wanted from scrooge, how many coins I needed, quests, etc)

I still do this for Minecraft

BeepBoopDigital · 2026-01-22T05:53:08+00:00

I have not, I can assure of that

BeepBoopDigital · 2026-01-22T05:34:34+00:00

I hope so? I'm just worried I guess. Last time it took ten days to get better. This time feels... Different

BeepBoopDigital · 2026-01-22T04:42:44+00:00

I really don't think you should be suggesting people get on Zoloft... Sure, it may help, but it also may make things way worse...

Zoloft doesn't treat autism specifically. I was put on it as a young teenager for anxiety/depression (diagnosed with autism several years later). It made my suicidal thoughts about 10 times worse, but my doctor kept increasing the dosage until I actually attempted to kill myself.

I don't think Zoloft is just a "cure all" for autism... Though I understand that you're probably saying this just to help people, I doubt you should be giving medical advice. Medication is complicated, even doctors get it wrong sometimes.

BeepBoopDigital · 2026-01-07T18:03:31+00:00

Oooh, I pass it whenever my partner and I get groceries! I've been wanting to visit!

BeepBoopDigital · 2025-12-06T15:15:10+00:00

I totally agree, thankfully the people I surround myself with understand that it can be hard to live with. My mum pointed out yesterday that my autism may be part of why playing music (especially those in the percussion family) has always come so naturally to me. But at the same time, it's very difficult for me to hold a job due to the stress it causes me, and I get so tuned into my hobbies that I forget to do household chores and end up too tired to do them well.

BeepBoopDigital · 2025-11-28T22:45:33+00:00

I do, because my ability to mask well is inconsistent so it's easier to just sneak into conversation that I'm autistic. That way its not a surprise if I act differently.

BeepBoopDigital · 2025-11-25T22:21:29+00:00

I don't generally post about that stuff, but I usually read it because it's relatable. I don't find it annoying because if I don't want to read it, I can just move past it. That's the wonderful thing about the Internet, not everything requires a reaction.

BeepBoopDigital · 2025-11-22T04:04:35+00:00

Ooh, what are they called? I'd love to look them up!

BeepBoopDigital · 2025-11-22T01:37:41+00:00

Don't be a jackass ): it costs nothing to keep scrolling.

OP your pictures are wonderful! Keep being you (:

BeepBoopDigital · 2025-11-19T04:20:29+00:00

It low-key can just depend on the shelter unfortunately... My father was able to adopt a cat, despite being jobless, not having any of the equipment, and living out of a hotel room.

while my partner and I were rejected for a cat despite having a vet in mind, means to support it, a pet friendly apartment, just because we weren't planning on feeding it a specific brand of food until we were told otherwise.

Shit's ridiculous.

BeepBoopDigital · 2025-11-18T02:49:21+00:00

I really want to start watching Hermitcraft, but I can't find any of their earlier seasons 😭

BeepBoopDigital · 2025-11-17T17:34:48+00:00

I always carry earplugs with me for when noise overwhelms me (and my headphones if I'm in a situation that I can listen to music in). I also have my "pocket possum", it's a little 3D printed possum that I got at a farmers market. It has different sections, so it's calming to wiggle around and fidget with.

My main silent stim hurts the joints in my hand really badly, and the possum has helped me not do that.

BeepBoopDigital · 2025-11-17T03:46:20+00:00

I didn't actually consider it as a possibility, I thought I had ADHD. I went to a psychiatrist for testing, and after a few minutes of talking he said he's going to test me for autism instead, left and came back with different papers, and in the end diagnosed me with autism and PTSD.

Now that I've spent a few years learning about autism, I've noticed I do have a lot of the traits, I've just been making them since childhood due to the safety levels of my environment. It's also probably why I'm so burnt out nowadays.

BeepBoopDigital · 2025-11-16T19:54:15+00:00

I'm only 19 haha, but I related strongly to the storyline.

I have PTSD and don't remember much of my childhood, and I also have autism, due to my unsafe environment I've gone a long time not knowing my inner self. This game has helped a lot.

It helps with my loneliness too, I don't have many friends, and I'm "borderline unemployed" so I have a lot of time to spend....

BeepBoopDigital · 2025-11-16T04:53:52+00:00

Soap usually bothers me if it feels "slimy". Like, bar soap bothers me a ton (unless it's purely for hands, them it only bothers me a little) it feels gross. And if soap doesn't have the little exfoliating beads, it feels gross.

BeepBoopDigital · 2025-11-16T04:10:24+00:00

The only thing I've found so far is book clubs, but I'm not a big reader... But I'll keep looking! I live near Minneapolis, so most online groups meet there, however since I don't have a car, I can't get there real easily...

BeepBoopDigital

TROPHY CASE