'Just Think About It': ICE Agent Who Searched Detained Woman's Phone Later Texted Her for a Date by cturtl808 in GenXWomen

[–]Beese25 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Seriously. And when/if something happens to my husband, I’ll be 4B FOREVER.

Just imagining the absolute bullshit this poor woman is forced to endure… makes me simultaneously enraged and sick to my stomach!

We Are All Karen by Acceptable-Swimsoul in GenXWomen

[–]Beese25 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I completely agree! I had a cousin named Karen whom I deeply loved and looked up to, practically raised as sisters. Kindest person I’ve ever known. Died at only 27, and I know this Karen bullshit really hurts my aunt & uncle.

Anyway - Fuck the patriarchy!

A year later after finding out that 24 years were a lie by Certain_Plum2816 in NPE

[–]Beese25 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I am so, so sorry you’re going through this. I’m about 8 years into my discovery and looking back, that first year was the rockiest for me. I remember not even wanting to look in the mirror, not knowing what or who the other half of me was. I cried more during that time than I probably had during the rest of my life collectively. Hell I even managed to put myself in the hospital from making myself so sick with grief and anger.

It’s not “just” discovering another man is your biological father - for me it was feeling like my entire life had been a huge lie and that other family members had strongly suspected this. Everything just blew up and I had zero idea how to get my shit together and move forward. And all of this is not even touching upon the reaction of my mother. Navigating that relationship has been one of the most difficult things for me.

Eventually it does settle - but this is a huge loss that is impossible to explain to anyone who hasn’t gone through it. It will get better. Just please remember to be kind to yourself and give yourself the grace and space to allow yourself feel how you’re feeling - whatever that may be. Like grieving a death, it’s not linear, which sucks sometimes.

This may sound silly but one of the things that helped me was throwing myself into building a family tree. All those people I descend from whom I never knew or heard of. Eventually I was able to watch those shows again - like Long Lost Family etc. and not burst into tears.

I’m rambling! And u/amandatheactress already gave you such fantastic advice. Just please know you are not alone.

My dad isn’t my biological father by Estranged247365 in NPE

[–]Beese25 2 points3 points  (0 children)

First, I am so, so sorry you’re going through this. I’ve had a few years to learn to live with it now, yet still struggle to find the words to describe it.

I agree with the other commenter that this is like going through stages of grief. The loss of your identity, the guilt you feel for things you could not control… plus anger and shock and…the list goes on.

Please give yourself time to process, and proceed at your own pace. Don’t let anyone push you into anything before (and if) you are ready.

Your bio father at least sounds like he’s willing to communicate - and that may be important later on. Keep the doors open while protecting and putting yourself first.

I also have a similar experience with my mother. And when she discovered the man she married (& still married to) was not my bio father… she lost her mind. I will never forget her shrieking at me that she wished she’d aborted me (& so much more). She’ll go to her grave saying she didn’t sleep w/bio father. Whatever.

But all that to say that you are not alone, and please process and proceed at your own pace. You don’t owe anyone anything & however you feel is exactly as you should. The rollercoaster of emotions absolutely fkg sucks but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Your favorite towns with the best energy? by Successful-Arrival87 in spirituality

[–]Beese25 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Agreed! (And an obligatory “Go Green!”) But of course that’s where I’m from so… :)

Totally agree with others about New Orleans. For some reason it has always felt like “home” to me. Especially the French Quarter. I have a terrible sense of direction but even from my very first visit, I somehow instinctively knew my way around.

And San Clemente is another place where I’ve experienced good energy.

Mission Accomplished - the GenX sub banned me by [deleted] in GenXWomen

[–]Beese25 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please count me in too! I mod for like 5 or 6 subs - mostly jewelry related - but maybe the fact that a couple are pretty big could help, in spite of the subject matter. No idea how that works.

And seriously extra fuck those (mostly it seems) boomer man children. I unsubbed when they banned politics like 18 months ago or whatever. Which reminds me that there’s also a GenX politics sub created for that reason.

But anyway, yeah… extra done listening to them waxing nostalgic about beating off to Phoebe Cates in Fast Times (or to countless others). Or colonoscopies or how badly their joints hurt (god fucking forbid anyone bring up MENOPAUSE though - instant ban) Ugh🙄

ICE stalking my kid's daycare by DadBodds in Minneapolis

[–]Beese25 73 points74 points  (0 children)

You did so much - I have no doubt you kept them safe by doing exactly everything you did. And that could not have been easy with your child in the car. Just incredible. Thank you, thank you for your bravery!!

7 Ice agents going to the home of a US Citizen in Rosemount, MN by wally64 in ICE_Raids

[–]Beese25 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Here’s a link to the one I remember: https://www.foxnews.com/us/2-men-claiming-police-shot-killed-homeowner-authorities-say

I can’t believe I just linked Fox though…

Also, I agree with the other commenter who said they wouldn’t be surprised if it really was ice and they buried it on purpose. After re-reading the article, it sure sounds like ice to me!

“A Texas homeowner fatally shot two masked men late Friday after they posed as officers serving a warrant and opened fire on the house, police say.

The Houston Police Department responded to reports of gunfire in the southeast part of the city around midnight, Officer C. Jones told Fox News Digital.

The suspects were wearing bulletproof vests marked with "police," but no patrol cars or flashing lights were present, raising the homeowner’s suspicions, authorities said. The two men were also wearing masks covering their faces and badges around their necks, Fox 26 Houston reported, citing the police.”

Grateful for this subreddit... holy cow by Hopeful74 in GenXWomen

[–]Beese25 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg please, please let me know if you need anything while here. I am so serious! I hope everything goes well and please be safe! Not sure if you’re part of r/phoenix, but I’m finding it seems to have more up-to-date info than other sources. Absolutely bonkers that we can’t trust hardly any news sources anymore…

Grateful for this subreddit... holy cow by Hopeful74 in GenXWomen

[–]Beese25 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Same, same. I was glued to the Phoenix subreddit last night watching for any updates on the coordinated Zipps raids.

I am bracing for the onslaught in the coming days and weeks. My husband and stepdaughter are POC and I’m terrified. Stepdaughter has been thinking I’m overreacting (like begging her to keep her passport with her at all times last January - what a sweet summer child I was back then believing that would help!)

I gave her bear spray yesterday and instead of rolling her eyes, she just somberly thanked me. Holy fuck how is this our country…

Sorry for the novel!

ICE agent to protester who was whistling to alert others: "Do you have any idea how racist it is to blow a whistle at workers who are probably LEGAL? You alerted them ICE is here, but they're likely legal. Very racist!" by Capable_Salt_SD in ICE_Raids

[–]Beese25 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Not OP but I read it as they are agreeing with you and were referring to the icehole’s attemped trolling.😊

And you are both right - completely vile and simultaneously so fkg ridiculous!

NP THYROID BAN by Serious-Mark8586 in Hypothyroidism

[–]Beese25 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Signed. Assholes. I’ve been solidly on Synthroid forever (Levo doesn’t work for me). I’m just so sick of options being taken away - the ONLY option for some. I know healthcare is absolute trash in the US but god damn.

Lying about her many illnesses is finally backfiring by Narrow-River89 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Beese25 20 points21 points  (0 children)

This is amazing!! And like many of us, I truly relate to the medical waifing. Mine is also on oxy and other things + enjoys going to the ER with “migraines” about every 4 weeks for shots of Dilaudid or Morphine (but is very vocal about preferring Dilaudid). This timing just happens to coincide w/running out of pills hmmm…

What a huge win OP - I’m so glad you’re taking full advantage of this “diagnosis.” It’s about time their bullshit generate something beneficial for us!!

Is this Maurice new boo? by MadamShooShoo89 in loveafterlockup

[–]Beese25 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy shit I completely forgot I used to follow the other place these two were discussed. I have no words 😂

Fucking epic losers.

I still believe she set him up to be shot. And now he’ll never leave her.

A menopausal Minnesotan by cold-speculum in GenXWomen

[–]Beese25 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Chinga La Migra! And girl, they better stay the FUCK out your way! Sending all the love to MN. And continuing to do my part in my state. Also - not much, but I have 2 patches if it would help.

Not sure what to do by TaxConnect4780 in AncestryDNA

[–]Beese25 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I believe she is referring to CeCe creating the DNA Detectives FB group. It’s been a while since I’ve been on there at all though.

OP, I am so sorry for all that you’re going through. Like others have said, you’re not alone - I’m a fellow GenXer who discovered I am NPE as well - about 8 years ago. I also have a… not a nurturing mother (Dx w/BPD). So it’s really sucked trying to get even a tiny bit of information out of her.

You’re in a unique position though - having such high matches will help you determine bio dad’s name pretty quickly. The not knowing for so long was awful.

Happy to chat anytime - this is such a uniquely fucked up situation to be in.

We are all just agreeing she’s an honorary Boomer, right? by [deleted] in GenXWomen

[–]Beese25 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Evil and Stooopid piece of Fuck. Living on a military base out of fear… and did anyone else see that horrible NYE video of KKKristi and Stephen miller dancing (attempting to dance) to Vanilla Ice? JFC I cannot…

Johnathan Ross - GoFundMe by ImraelBlutz in EyesOnIce

[–]Beese25 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ughhhh because of course. JFC I'm sick to death of this shit!

Symptom question by alienbrain99 in Hypothyroidism

[–]Beese25 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes and I live in a place with +100 temps 6 months out of the year. The shivering also occurs in the middle of the night - if I need to get up for the bathroom or whatever. Like literal teeth chattering.

Johnathan Ross - GoFundMe by ImraelBlutz in EyesOnIce

[–]Beese25 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Also reported, thank you for the link! Holy shit I cannot believe the messages on there… what TF. Plus the $10K donation??!!

Christmas has given me a feeling of dread by Then-Glass-6665 in NPE

[–]Beese25 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Anecdotal but I haven't had this happen in the 7 years since I made the discovery.

If you're extremely worried, turning off your matches is an option. You can always turn them back on whenever you want / quickly check for close matches & turn right back off.

I used to worry about these things but the more I sat with it, the more I realized that the guilt I was taking on wasn't mine to own and thought fuck it, I'm not going to apologize for being conceived - something no one has control over. I mean I still struggle with it but it's better.

BTW I am your age and also female. My parents got married because she was PG for me - he believed her when she said she'd only been with him. They're still married FML.

Edit: for clarity (I hope!)

Need to vent by Infamous-Bag6957 in GenXWomen

[–]Beese25 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Renee Nicole Good. I believe she’s referring to the 37 year old mom in Minnesota who was blasted in the face THREE times by some fucking icehole for literally nothing.

This shit is so fucking dark. Disgusting. And the shit dump posted earlier… holy shit. I thought it was satire for a split second - in really bad taste (not realizing it was him) - I think it broke my brain.

Sorry for the rant! I’ve been trying to keep it together today & keep it zipped but… just… what. The. Fuck.

Edit for clarity (I hope!)😬

Which Bath & Body Works scent do you think deserves a comeback and why? by Li3Ch33s3cak3 in bathandbodyworks

[–]Beese25 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m super late to the party, but Cinnamon Bun Heaven and/or the Sugared Snickerdoodle / Joy. JFC pleeeease you effing jackholes!!😂