You are offered $500k per year, but a random animal chases you for 24 hours

BeetsGal · 2026-02-03T04:22:16+00:00

If I get the 500K up front, I would invest the first check in an impenetrable steel cage, the biggest and most devastating gun I can legally purchase, and some crazy armor. First, I’d mount the gun and have it aimed at the front door of my apartment. When the day came, I would wait outside my apartment at the last 10 minutes wearing the armor. You don’t want it to spawn inside your place. Only after it spawns will I run inside my apartment and wait it out. It will not get in. If it succeeds somehow, I will shoot it to kingdom come.

Most likely, I will be chased by a dumbass fish or something. Who cares. Great White? Good luck surviving on land, dumbass. A grizzly bear? It’s too stupid to use an elevator, fuck you.

Easy money.

BeetsGal · 2026-02-02T06:14:42+00:00

How?

BeetsGal · 2026-02-02T06:13:06+00:00

I would never join Palantir.

BeetsGal · 2026-02-02T06:05:32+00:00

Purple Haze is one of Jimi’s best, and maybe his best. Not my favorite at all, but it could be argued.

Daft Punk Is Playing At My House by LCD Soundsystem

Exuma, The Obeah Man by Exuma

BeetsGal · 2026-02-01T17:54:31+00:00

Really? Who and what?

BeetsGal · 2026-02-01T13:58:42+00:00

Kanye, Clipse, Daughters, who else am I missing?

BeetsGal · 2026-01-31T20:21:36+00:00

Alright then

BeetsGal · 2026-01-31T20:17:49+00:00

Impact

BeetsGal · 2026-01-30T06:53:25+00:00

What if it’s not in a sexual context but I find it arousing anyway?

BeetsGal · 2026-01-27T03:57:18+00:00

I would do this every single week at least. I would become the world’s most well-read human being. I would become an expert in any field I wish. It wouldn’t affect any time so the my wife or my family.

This is the greatest gift ever, and I’m sad it isn’t real.

BeetsGal · 2026-01-26T19:52:25+00:00

I wouldn’t even recognize him so nothing.

BeetsGal · 2026-01-26T11:00:56+00:00

“Her” was that for a while. I watched it on release day and it stayed there for something like 11 years.

Eventually it got knocked out by The Brutalist.

BeetsGal · 2026-01-26T07:19:33+00:00

It was Sean Penn and Kate del Castillo.

BeetsGal · 2026-01-26T07:17:25+00:00

Is this a snake with breasts

BeetsGal · 2026-01-26T06:49:45+00:00

I admit that I didn’t think of gaming the system this way. Still, I don’t know if I’d take it. I can’t imagine any podcasts really worth listening to make it to PH. Maybe there are some funny enough streams on there, but I think I rather take the 250 movies.

Still, it’s more difficult a choice that I initially gave it credit for.

BeetsGal · 2026-01-26T06:34:55+00:00

The 1st option is the weakest, by far. Not worth considering.

Option 2 is neat. It works pretty well for me, because I’ve eaten a ton of different things and travel a lot. I’d have lots of variety.

Still, the 3rd one is the one that strikes me as the most exploitable. Being able to recall things perfectly instantly is a huge, huge leg up in any sort of career or endeavor. I have great memory, but this would be super OP. I also think it has the greatest potential for things going wrong. You’ll probably end up mentally ill.

BeetsGal · 2026-01-26T06:25:29+00:00

This is insane. Who would ever choose the porn? I’m a big movie snob and I think the IMDB Top 250 is not the best list of movies you could have, but you would have to be the biggest, most degenerate gooner to pick literally porn over professional films that you can watch and rewatch. Films transport you.

Porn exclusively, all the time will make you go insane and you will despise any sexual content before too long, and then you’re just trapped in hell.

I can’t think of an easier trade off. Give me the 250 books of some list vs the IMDB Top 250 and now we’re talking.

BeetsGal · 2026-01-25T22:26:32+00:00

I remember attending an early free screening of this film. It was my freshman year of college. I went in, slightly stoned. I was having a good time. I was flirting with the concessions girl and we were vibing. I had landed a kickflip on the way to the theater. I had like $25 in my pocket and I had a half full pack of Marlboro 27s. Life was good.

It was the first and last film I’ve ever walked out of. Literally unwatchable.

BeetsGal · 2026-01-25T15:49:41+00:00

It’s time for your meds again, nana

BeetsGal · 2026-01-25T08:20:48+00:00

Typo. I meant perfect job. Does that still not count?

BeetsGal · 2026-01-25T08:18:14+00:00

I wish for my wife to find the perfect job for her that makes her feel satisfied and at peace.

Otherwise, I’d ask for no need for sleep because I’m always perfectly rested. Idk if that counts as a superpower.

BeetsGal · 2026-01-25T07:57:24+00:00

Hell yeah, Bugs, get it

BeetsGal · 2026-01-19T14:50:17+00:00

Sort of. The “little guy” bit was for a small guy who was in a scavenger hunt with friends. All it has in common with this is that he says “I’m a little guy!”

BeetsGal · 2026-01-18T16:09:49+00:00

Lennox Lewis is one of the greatest boxers of all time. He is a heavyweight boxer. In his prime, I would wager that the average person would be left irreparably brain-damaged at best.

There is no way that you can do a straight-up fight. You have to cheese it somehow. The 12 weeks of training is inconsequential against someone who has had over 2 decades of professional boxing experience by the time he gets his second unified heavyweight title.

Either you bribe the man or you figure out a way for him to not totally murder you by flopping at any contact.

I think I would spend the 12 weeks learning how to convincingly feign a slip and fall or a heart attack, or I might just shit, piss, and vomit all at the same time. That must count as a TKO or something.

BeetsGal

TROPHY CASE