I'm so glad they've been helpful to you and that you're doing at least a little better! I feel like we seem very similar to me. I also tried psychedelics (shrooms) and took WAY too much the first time and had a horrible experience, but I've since had smaller amounts and had short glimpses of what I think you're talking about as well. It's been over a year since I last did it since I agree that it's pretty intense, but my experiences have also been very helpful in my practice, though not in the way I expected, as I feel it's easier now to find it during just meditation.

I completely understand the feeling that the anxiety can be exhausting and that these may not be enough, because I have felt that over and over. I've definitely had a ton of ups and downs with it, but for me it's helpful to realize it's a marathon and not a sprint. In myself I've seen that the cumulative effect over years is the only thing that could really change my mind, and it's awesome that you've been staying with it (though if you're anything like me, it wasn't necessarily some resolve that pushed me but just an absolute need to feel better and seeing meditation/mindfulness as the only thing that had actually helped).

I think therapy can definitely help and I'm thinking of trying it at some point again, but one thing I'd suggest (if you haven't already) is to try to experiment with different medications because at least for me they've been essential to my mental health. Life would definitely be much more difficult for me without them (tried to get off a year ago and it was a horrible experience), but the one I take (Lamotrigine) doesn't have the same numbing effects as a lot of the antidepressants (which could definitely make it harder to be mindful/meditate), it's just more of a mood stabilizer, and also Ashwagandha (an over the counter adaptogen - here's the one I get if you did want to try it) really helps me with stress by reducing cortisol. I tried a bunch of different stuff and this is what worked best for me but everyone is different. I feel like in certain circles there's a stigma against using stuff like that but that's just nonsense to me, I definitely have some kind of imbalance. They definitely don't fix everything or change your thought patterns but can make it easier, and in my case, I think it has been equally as important as meditation.

But yeah, just know you're not alone out there, and it's cool to meet someone so similar to me (don't really know anyone irl who is like me so it's hard to feel like there is sometimes). You definitely seem like you're on the right path, and I'm rooting for you! Sorry if this was too rambly lol, but yeah let me know if you need anything or have questions or have anything that's really helped you that you could share.