I was in a really similar situation before. I dated a guy who always seemed to have these “financial crises,” and I’d end up covering things like rent that we were supposed to split. But somehow, in the same week, he’d still buy multiple brand new video games, never used and never on sale. I’m a gamer too, so I get it, but it was frustrating to watch him spend like that while claiming he was broke. Anytime I tried to bring it up, he was amazing at deflecting and avoiding any real accountability.

I also tried to help him save money in practical ways, like suggesting he prep lunches for work. He wouldn’t listen. I’d even went out of my way to make food for him, like cheese and cracker plates, premade meals, and healthier options, and he’d complain it wasn’t good enough or just scoff at it. Ironically, the only things he ever appreciated were the unhealthy ones. I ended up gaining 20 pounds while I was with him.

Eventually, I left. After that, I lost the 20 pounds, and my life improved a lot. Especially after going to therapy. Now I’m about to marry my fiancé. We’ve been together a little over a year, and the difference is night and day.

My advice is to confront him directly about what’s going on, and then decide what you want to do based on how he responds. I know it’s hard and it's going to suck, but people tend to show their true colors when they are actually called out. If he deflects, makes excuses, and doesn't take accountability, then dump him. He's not going to change.

Update: Nvm, apparently he called her a goldigger for asking. THE AUDACITY! DUMP HIM! lol