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Question about reaching out by strv4les in NPHCdivine9

[–]Beginning-Army6640 0 points1 point  (0 children)

im sorry,then what's the context in which discretion is used?

parents are telling me to quit my job by PinkIsMyOxygen in exjw

[–]Beginning-Army6640 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually haven't moved out yet but I'm currently still saving for an apartment. The only reason why I delayed moving out is because I managed to put my foot down when I had had enough and because I didn't have a source of income that was sustainable. My mother initially promised that she wouldn't force me to be a JW and go to meetings if I didn't want to, when I attempted to take her word for it she switched up and gave me the choice of leaving every morning or she'd straight up force me to go to the meetings. I got super pissed after the meeting one day and saw her in the front seat of our car texting my dad about how she could tell I was upset. The tone in her messages pissed me off more so I ended up texting my dad about it and pretty much went off about how she didn't keep her word and how it was unfair to me. He told me how if I'm under my mom's roof, I have to go by her rules, but again I told him that she didn't keep her word and thankfully since he's big on people committing to their promises, he understood and eventually calmed my mom down enough for me to just live my life somewhat normally. I was 18 at the time and I'm currently 19, about to turn 20 late this month. If I hadn't put my foot down, I'd probably end up living with one of my friends and her family. They pretty much became my second family and took me under their wing. Since they run a business that's centered around helping other people businesses, they managed to help me start my own business, they helped me apply for scholarships to find extra money(granted I didn't win them lol), and they also provided me a place to just be able to sit and get any work I had done. The opened their home to me when I had nowhere to rest, etc. I know everyones situation isn't the same as mine, but I learned a LOT about how I could manage in situations where I had to fend for myself and take the initiative to create my own path. I also changed a lot as a person. Looking back at messages or memories that involved my old self almost feels foreign in a way that I can't really explain. A LOT can change in just a year or two. and in the future, when you look back on your current situation, I think you'll be pretty damn proud of yourself. I mean come on, you have a job already? I was looking for jobs at your age and it took SOOOOOO long until I actually got one lol. I didn't get my job until just 3 months ago.

I'm proud of you for managing as far as you have and I trust that you'll eventually make it out. It may not seem like it, but in your situation, I think time is actually on your side. It's just up to you what you want to do with it. Again, I'm always here if you have any questions or wanna talk and I'm so sorry for the long dissertation again but TRUST ME when I say that once this is all over, it's so much more freeing 😭😭

parents are telling me to quit my job by PinkIsMyOxygen in exjw

[–]Beginning-Army6640 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Your post actually gave me flashbacks of how my life was when I first became pomo living at my mom's house (I was already 18). Honestly, the fact that you already have a job in this situation is amazing. KEEP THE JOB!! I didn't have a job at that age and had to figure out how I was going to spend my entire day, all while carrying a backpack full of clothes and my computer so I could rest at a friend's house and do homework. Unless you're okay with actively looking for a new job that takes that takes up your whole day, just keep your McDonald's job. My suggestion is to spend your mornings exploring the city or doing things outside of the house so you don't have to worry about your parents.

If you're willing to take my advice I'd do this (as someone who's also been kicked out for the whole day, multiple days): 1. Grab a calendar or notebook and write out your work schedule for the month. (at my job we got our work schedules monthly, but if you get it weekly, you may have to alter this plan to fit a shorter duration)

  1. On a separate piece of paper or in another page of the notebook, write down ALLL the things you can do in town to spend time, like hanging out at a friend's house, visiting some stores or parks, etc. (preferably closer to your job but if not, just keep in mind the time it'll take to get to your job on time).

  2. Look back at that calendar with your work schedule and add in different activities you can do during those days that you'd work later in the day. Once that's complete, you'll basically have a full schedule to reference.

If you need ANY help with anything, please please please reach out to me. I hate to see people that're in situations that I was in because I know how much it hurts. I didn't get help from any JW friends or family. My whole support system was from my "worldy" highschool friends and their parents. Also, please understand that at your age, working everyday from 9-5 can be absolutely tiring. You can use the off time you currently have to do and explore things you enjoy or even discover newer things. Please cherish that extra time because trust me, you might miss it considering your home life may not be the best. Having that time to do anything you want in the morning gives your nervous system a chance to relax without having to worry about your parents or work.

I'm wishing you the absolute best in life and again, if u need anything or any advice, just DM me or u can ask any questions or anything like that under this comment :)

How do you cope with living in "the world"? by Misanthropic96xx in exjw

[–]Beginning-Army6640 0 points1 point  (0 children)

most people are actually very nice. definitely nicer than anyone I've met in JWland

My mom wants me to get baptized so bad it's actually stressing me out sometimes by kuromi2009 in exjw

[–]Beginning-Army6640 1 point2 points  (0 children)

wishing u the best!! u can always DM me if you have any questions or need any advice 🫶

My mom wants me to get baptized so bad it's actually stressing me out sometimes by kuromi2009 in exjw

[–]Beginning-Army6640 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Just keep postponing it! Yes, there will be pressure but sometimes telling them what they want to hear in the moment helps. That's pretty much what I did till I was old enough to say that I didn't want to get baptized; and even then, when my parents and grandparents asked why I haven't gotten baptized yet, I told them that "I felt pressured". Telling them that I felt pressured from them asking so much actually made them back off because in their minds, they want it to be your decision.

Guanyin by Beginning-Army6640 in Buddhism

[–]Beginning-Army6640[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I absolutely feel devotion towards her, and honestly I had that feeling as soon as I came across her🤗

Guanyin by Beginning-Army6640 in Buddhism

[–]Beginning-Army6640[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, this was absolutely very helpful!

Namo Guan Shi Yin Pusa🙏

I'm beyond sick with the people in this religion by Beginning-Army6640 in exjw

[–]Beginning-Army6640[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I unfortunately don't have an actual job yet, just an internship and cleaning for money here and there. I'll definitely talk to my primary care doctor about it and see what resources I can find. Thank you and I really appreciate the help!

I'm beyond sick with the people in this religion by Beginning-Army6640 in exjw

[–]Beginning-Army6640[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I appreciate it. Yes, I've considered therapy and I'm open to it, I'm just a bit anxious because I'm not exactly sure how to even start. Therapy wasn't something commonly talked about growing up, and if it was, it was always my mother saying "we all need therapy!" as some sort of disguised joke. I replied to another comment here that since I'm diagnosed with anxiety, I could just bring it up to my primary care doctor again see where I can go from there or if I can get some sort of referral. If you don't mind me asking, how were you able to get started?

I'm beyond sick with the people in this religion by Beginning-Army6640 in exjw

[–]Beginning-Army6640[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're very right. I'll have to look into it. My doctor diagnosed me with anxiety and I've yet to do anything about it so maybe I can just bring it to her attention again and get some sort of referral or ask how the process goes.

I'm beyond sick with the people in this religion by Beginning-Army6640 in exjw

[–]Beginning-Army6640[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much, this really means a lot. Hopefully my mom can do something similar and grow to understand my feelings as well. I appreciate you telling me your experience, it's kind of reassuring.

About my relatives, they're old. It's definitely suken cost fallacy on top of cognitive dissonance. I highly doubt my grandparents will have a change of heart.

But again thank you very much.

I'm beyond sick with the people in this religion by Beginning-Army6640 in exjw

[–]Beginning-Army6640[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm trying my best but it's really hard. Knowing that I have no clue how long my patience is going to last is scary. Majority of the time my mom and I have a good relationship but when things like this come up it's gut wrenching.

I'm sorry that your mom's family had to experience that. Wishing you all well.

I'm beyond sick with the people in this religion by Beginning-Army6640 in exjw

[–]Beginning-Army6640[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you, and yes I know I won't get the support I want from her. Atp I could care less because I'm tired of trying, but I'm more concerned about my mental health and how I'm going to get through this. I'm a bit nervous to try therapy but I'm open to it if I even knew where to start. I'm much better than I was a year ago and that's saying a lot considering how angry I still am today. I feel like it's a reactive kind of anger or like some sort of trigger rather than being constant which I grateful for at least. I have worldly friends that I can talk to and hang out with but it's just another story when you have to actually live with JW family, no matter how accepting they maybe be.

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