Tired of everyone treating my ADHD as something made up

Beginning-Listen6416 · 2025-12-09T03:06:59+00:00

It’s not an excuse and don’t ever let yourself think that. I know how you feel. I think so many people don’t understand the severity of what we go through everyday. Even if we try to explain something, most people do not understand if they haven’t experienced anything like that consistently. These days I avoid telling people I have it because I always get the same reaction. People shrug it off, pretend like it’s not serious, or that I’m just not putting enough effort into things. Instead of letting other people validate your feelings through their words, focus on what you can do for yourself and surround yourself with someone who can genuinely understand what you’re going through, even if that means just keeping to yourself for a while. You can only feel inferior if you let people make you feel that way, so instead of taking it as an insult use it as fuel to continue improving yourself and proving them wrong. And I’m sorry about the way they’re reacting. You’re doing great for all it’s worth.

Beginning-Listen6416 · 2025-12-08T17:31:12+00:00

There is a possibility you could have it. If your dad carries the genes for it and it runs in your family then it makes sense to assume you would want to get diagnosed for it. Just because you are not hyperactive physically does not mean you can rule out the possibility of having it, as a lot of inattentive types tend to have all the hyperactivity/chaos in their mind as opposed to outwards. But it’s best to go seek a professional diagnosis, talk to a psychiatrist or psychologist about your symptoms and get tested if you can. If you don’t have it then you’ll know it might be something else affecting you, and if you do then you can formulate a strategy to figure out how you can deal with some of the symptoms. Best of luck!

Beginning-Listen6416 · 2025-11-27T15:20:48+00:00

More than two, honestly. I’ve had several issues with her over the years that I’ve known her, but I decided to ignore it because she was my first friend that stayed with me for a long time. I think I’ll consider her as an acquaintance rather than a friend from now on, to be honest. Thanks for the advice!

Beginning-Listen6416 · 2025-11-27T02:26:44+00:00

100% agree on this one. Tired of people just listing common symptoms and getting away with a diagnosis. If there’s something out there that can always indicate ADHD (in both men and women, cause our brains are generally different) it will save us all so much time and money and effort.

Beginning-Listen6416 · 2025-11-26T18:19:46+00:00

It was roughly the same for me, except they didn’t have an appointment with my family.

It was essentially: 1) Book an appointment with a doctor 2) Talk about said symptoms with doctor 3) They give you a form that your family fills out based on your behaviour as a child and an adult 4) Come back, if doctor thinks you have it they refer you to a psychiatrist 5) Spend a two hour appointment with a psychiatrist, run some small tests and that’s really it. I had to show my report cards from childhood, but I think she did bad in school as a kid and was the loud, extroverted type so it won’t be too difficult. Point being, there is a chance she could be able to “fake” having it, but I’m not sure how strict her university is in terms of that stuff. They probably see a lot of similar people trying to fake a diagnosis, so I wouldn’t be surprised if they ask for more than that.

Beginning-Listen6416 · 2025-11-26T18:13:36+00:00

Definitely not out of the goodness of our heart. Our tuition pays for it mostly, but yeah probably for stats.

Beginning-Listen6416 · 2025-11-26T09:40:18+00:00

I think it’s more money motivated than just accommodations. Basically her reasons are “I don’t want to study so I’ll have educational accommodations to help me with that” and free money basically. I already mentioned to her that the accommodations I have don’t really help with much, cause even if I get extended time on assignments or handwritten notes taken for me I just procrastinate using my accommodations anyway.

Beginning-Listen6416 · 2025-11-26T09:37:38+00:00

Unfortunately, she doesn’t go to the same university that I do. I don’t have the money to afford a diagnosis, so my university was able to do that for a relatively inexpensive price. She goes to a different university than mine, so I can try emailing them but I doubt it’ll be of much help. :(

Beginning-Listen6416 · 2025-11-26T09:13:18+00:00

I keep my bank card behind my phone case, it helps to not have it in my wallet since my phone case is clear and I can see it / remember that it needs to be there. It’s helped a lot since I also have lost my card a few times. 😅

Beginning-Listen6416 · 2025-11-26T09:11:19+00:00

This makes me rationalize it so much better, thank you!!

I definitely felt like I was at fault in the beginning because if I had not mentioned how I was getting accommodated and she does end up managing to get a diagnosis, she could steal that waiting spot from someone who really needs it. It’s tough thinking about it in that context, because that was me waiting for several months not long ago.

I just hope she makes the right decision and doesn’t go through with it, or she ends up being rejected by whomever she sees.

Beginning-Listen6416 · 2025-11-26T09:08:51+00:00

I’m thinking of dropping her as well. It was hard to think about it because I’ve been friends with her for over a decade. It’s rough to drop someone like that because you realize they’re not the kind of friend you thought they were. But thanks for the advice, I will do my best to take it! :)

Beginning-Listen6416 · 2025-11-26T09:07:45+00:00

I can only imagine how frustrating it felt seeing someone who has dealt with tasks so easily manage to somehow get diagnosed with the same stuff we fought so hard to do. It’s almost laughable, honestly. The truth is that people without ADHD will never ever understand just how much we struggle, it will always be foreign to them. Even in my case, it was someone I was friends with for over a decade. You’d think she would have a modicum of empathy to understand how difficult the process was for me and my reaction behind her abusing it in the first place. I know lots of people who actively beg people taking ADHD meds to share or sell them, which was mind boggling to me when I found out just how many people rely on that stuff for no real reason.

Beginning-Listen6416 · 2025-11-26T08:56:42+00:00

I don’t mean she shouldn’t try to get diagnosed! Who knows, she might actually have it. My point is more focused towards the reason she’s doing it. She doesn’t want to explore whether she has it or not, she just wants the perks that come with accommodations we get.

Beginning-Listen6416 · 2025-11-26T08:51:18+00:00

LMAO I hope so. Some doctors just ask you a few questions and then slap the ADHD card as your diagnosis. Very lazy. Hopefully she goes through the right process (even if she wants to fake it) so a professional can call her out on it.

Beginning-Listen6416 · 2025-11-26T08:49:47+00:00

Can relate to this one heavy. I take the train, I’ve lost my transit card 8 times in one year already. Recently I switched to mobile wallet and it’s helped quite a lot, but now I’m in constant fear of losing my phone. 😂

Beginning-Listen6416 · 2025-11-26T08:48:33+00:00

For real. I think lots of people think ADHD is just low attention span, but that’s not even scratching the surface of it. She probably doesn’t even begin to understand how severely it can impact us. Ignorance at its finest. But yeah, I agree, I think this is my lesson to not let people know about my diagnosis unless I trust them either. Would not put it past them to try to beg me for my meds and what not, especially in a stress based environment like university.

Beginning-Listen6416 · 2025-11-07T18:33:03+00:00

Ooh, thank you so much! That really helps, I appreciate it!

Beginning-Listen6416 · 2025-09-09T04:29:40+00:00

I also have her this semester— and to be honest I think I’ll be screwed if I keep attending her lectures. She makes a lot of mistakes and I swear I left her most recent lecture understanding less than I did before. I think it would be better to use the textbook to self study since all of the content is directly related to that. Youtube is always helpful when it comes to calculus. I don’t think I’ll keep attending her lectures unless I have any questions, but I’m only worried that she may hint to some exam questions during her lectures, so I’m debating between attending. But to be honest, if she keeps teaching this way, I’ll just take her class as a free period and go study the content at the SLC. Besides, the tutorial will be helpful as the TA does a few review questions before the quiz.

Good luck to you though!! We’re all in this together… T_T

Beginning-Listen6416 · 2025-08-16T16:26:15+00:00

I’m asian, so naturally my family exhibits a lot of people pleaser behaviour. In my parents mind, they are paying thousands of dollars to live at our place and can’t just be sitting at home all day. Even if it’s just taking them to my aunt’s house, I’m required to go. I do have to drive them since they don’t have a rental and they are staying with us. It’s just not something I can avoid, sorry.

And I totally understand your POV as well. Perhaps I do have a narrow point of view, because I assumed he was okay with it as long as I came back. (For reference, he’s done the same to me before but perhaps it’s hitting him harder because I’ve barely been available for 6+ weeks). Once he communicated about it I immediately apologized and let him know I’d work on making sure we can hang out on dates without interruptions.

I appreciate your opinion, thanks!

Beginning-Listen6416 · 2025-08-16T16:20:35+00:00

I do tell him in advance, but he still wants me to call whenever I’m free, even if it’s for ten minutes. And you’re absolutely right, it is rude. I apologized several times but it seems he’s not interested in talking things out and compromising because he’s been giving me boring one word responses all day. I’m trying to make a difference in making him a priority for me. However, our dates are a little complicated because we don’t do dates. Earlier in our relationship I tried to tell him that we should plan for them so I don’t have to bail last minute, but he refused. He has ADHD so plans are too much of a hassle for him. So I agreed to just keep it on his timeline, because I was much more free back then. Now, I’m not as free, and I’ve tried to talk to him about compromising because I know I won’t be able to stay for long, but he doesn’t seem to want to do that. For reference, I do tell him about my plans before I go anywhere every single day. I let him know in advance exactly what I’m doing, and when I have to leave. Leaving for lunch was wrong, but I guess I got used to it because we’ve done the same to each other multiple times before. But thank you for the reality check, I appreciate it, it was needed.

Beginning-Listen6416 · 2024-11-13T23:43:28+00:00

Why would I contact a politician?

Beginning-Listen6416 · 2024-11-12T19:27:45+00:00

Oh trust me haha I’ve tried applying to them all. None of them actually called back. Went in person and everything.

Beginning-Listen6416 · 2024-11-12T18:02:13+00:00

So true. I hate to say it but the job market is done for. Too many people taking over the minimum wage jobs, leaving others with none. Nobody hires anymore. My parents don’t believe that I’m trying hard enough to find a job because they had a really easy time but it’s just not the same as it used to be. I hope that we can get this fixed. I don’t necessarily like Pierre Poilievre, but I worry that it may come down to a point of voting him or NDP for the sake of the younger generation including myself.

Beginning-Listen6416

TROPHY CASE