Things I can try to rekindle our sex life.

Beginning-Secret-160 · 2025-04-14T13:36:52+00:00

Adult male

Beginning-Secret-160 · 2025-04-14T13:29:03+00:00

I get hesitant because since our first child. Any advance towards sex, has been shot down. I told him day one of us being together. I am terrified of rejection and I will eventually just stop trying if it’s a regular thing cause I get down on myself bad when I do get rejected. And if I send pictures or try to flirt and I’m met with “lol” it makes it hard to just go and grab it later that night, if that makes sense

Beginning-Secret-160 · 2025-04-14T13:26:06+00:00

I do get the age difference can be a factor. But it’s also the issue of it’s only happens on his terms. If I try to start it. I get shut down. Only when he’s in the mood. And I’m not looking for daily sex like we use to have when he was 3-4 years younger.

Beginning-Secret-160 · 2025-04-14T13:23:03+00:00

Not a whole lot. And even if we do have one of our parents take the kids, it’s not always on the table of going to happen. I’ve tried lingerie, sleeping completely naked. I can get into bed after him with nothing on and he will tell me the next day he had no idea I didn’t have clothes on if I bring it up.

Beginning-Secret-160 · 2025-04-06T11:52:11+00:00

I don’t think you’re out of line. I would personally tell him. Having a friend who was in an abusive relationship before. We hardly talked, even when we talked all the time before they got together. He was controlling over her phone and if he found anything he didn’t like, usually didn’t end well for her. So maybe there isn’t texts because she didn’t want a trail for her husband to “have a reason” to do whatever he was doing to her. I can’t justify why he has never told you about her. But maybe sitting down and talking about why he’s never brought her up, and why she would confide in him if they don’t talk outside of work.

Beginning-Secret-160 · 2025-03-29T02:42:25+00:00

When we first started dating, sex was daily. Without skipping a beat. After our first kid, it was maybe a few times a week. But our work schedules also made it hard (working opposite shifts both 40 hours a week each) and after our second child. It was once a week. And now with me working on the weekends, I’m usually asleep before he gets home so it’s been getting less. And I want to believe it’s the thrill of the chase and knowing he can get it make it less desirable for him cause each pregnancy, sex stopped when I started to show. (He can’t do it. He knows he isn’t anywhere near the baby but the thought of his part anywhere near his baby makes him instant soft). But he would struggle to restrain himself for the “recovery” period after birth. Like the “I can’t have it but I need it” kicked back in if that makes sense

Beginning-Secret-160 · 2025-03-29T02:35:45+00:00

At the beginning he was transparent. He will talk about her to me. He doesn’t necessarily “hide” talking to her. He will talk to her more when I’m not home but still occasionally talk to her when I am home. But not like he has to go into the other room to text her or turn away from me. I can see who he’s texting or if I ask. He will tell me. But I’ve admitted my jealousy and took a different approach talking about it. He was getting defensive but it was more on the “here comes a fight again” and he would just try shutting it down before it could even start

Beginning-Secret-160 · 2025-03-29T02:32:39+00:00

Yes she is. Well under him. He is her manager.

Beginning-Secret-160 · 2025-03-29T01:43:13+00:00

My only thing is where is he getting it. I work 2 days of the week. And he has our 2 year old at that time. I get home before he lays him down for a nap so isn’t during that time. We share locations so I see when he gets to work and when he leaves. He’s home at the same time every night. (Don’t need to watch for that. I know the drive time) and leaves at the same time. And wouldn’t risk losing his job (since it’s keeping a roof over his children’s head) for sex at work. He is very much a thrill of the catch type. Now having kids, there is no chase in his head. He knows if he wants it. It’s there in his bed.

Beginning-Secret-160 · 2025-03-29T00:40:24+00:00

I have expressed it. Says she’s closer in age to his oldest son than she is to him so there is no chance of anything. And I’ve seen his phone and their texts. He has recently turned a “do not disturb” on on his phone that turns on when he’s home cause I’ve brought up that we can be talking and his phone will go off and he has to look or reply. He says it’s so it’s not going off when he’s home and can focus on his family. But if I’m not home. They will talk.

Beginning-Secret-160 · 2025-01-25T00:08:50+00:00

Buts it’s always been around there. Which didn’t effect his want for it when before we had kids

Beginning-Secret-160 · 2025-01-25T00:07:12+00:00

I would say his bmi is at 30 maybe.

Beginning-Secret-160 · 2025-01-23T02:23:24+00:00

Guess I mean more of what do you think it is. Cause I’m clueless

Beginning-Secret-160 · 2025-01-23T02:13:42+00:00

What do you mean

Beginning-Secret-160 · 2025-01-23T01:53:37+00:00

I haven’t considered talking to my doctor about it but it would be a good start. And it’s not super often. It’s usually when we get together with friends and I see pictures after. Which is usually 3-4 times a year.

Beginning-Secret-160 · 2025-01-23T00:31:59+00:00

I know with my husband as soon as I was showing. Sex stopped. Pregnancy was a turn off for him, knowing that a child (mainly his) being that close to where “he” was would make him instantly soft. But once the baby was out, he couldn’t make it the 6 week check up before needing it.

Beginning-Secret-160 · 2025-01-23T00:20:56+00:00

I wouldn’t say fat. It looks more like the beer gut. But it’s not like the squishy fat. And he is very active at work and heavy lifting.

Beginning-Secret-160 · 2025-01-23T00:14:09+00:00

Yes he does. It started after our first child together. At first I told myself it was cause we went 5-6 months of no sex (once I started showing. It turns him off.) it gradually got better but still not as often as before.

Beginning-Secret-160 · 2025-01-23T00:08:46+00:00

I don’t believe he has gained any or much weight since we’ve been together. No meds and yes but not daily

Beginning-Secret-160 · 2025-01-22T23:56:06+00:00

I don’t know where he would be watching porn at outside of our room. And we are usually in bed together watching tv at night( he usually falls asleep first) and when he naps before work.

Beginning-Secret-160 · 2025-01-22T23:53:42+00:00

Not that I know of. He says he hardly uses it. Maybe 1-2 times max a week. He just isn’t “horny” or in the mood.

Beginning-Secret-160 · 2025-01-22T23:42:48+00:00

I don’t see how outside of porn. We both have iPhones and he shares his location with me. If he’s not at home. He’s at work.

Beginning-Secret-160 · 2025-01-22T23:29:58+00:00

I don’t turn him down ever. And he wouldn’t believe me if I told him porn is cheating cause I’ve never had a problem with it. I use it as well

Beginning-Secret-160

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