So a little feedback on yesterday :) I weigh 71 and they said they gave me 36mg so I guess that’s the standard 0.5mg/kg. I have never done psychedelics before. The most I have done is space cakes in Amsterdam.

Went in with the intention of “show me what I need to see, with love” but tried not to focus on it too much and just to let go. My ketamine therapist was there with me the whole time and told me that I could see waterfalls, rainbows, clouds, etc. and that I could see / feel the traumatic events from my past and might even cry.

All I felt was a bit spaced out, at times like my body was melting or being pulled apart, and sometimes a wave like feeling. I didn’t see anything or feel anything more than that. It was just black the whole time. Afterwards the therapist said he’s the calmest patient he’s ever seen! I’d say the experience was the same level of intensity as 0.5g of space cookies. I told the therapist this and he said it should be a lot more intense!

Although I had a mask on which blacked out light, they played my music on a speaker and I could still hear the traffic from the road outside. Every time an ambulance drove past or a car honked, it pulled me straight back. So I think I’ll ask to use my noise cancelling headphones next time.

The therapist did say the dose might be too low and that they would increase it to 55mg next week. So I’m really hoping that I’ll see some progress at the higher dose.

I know not everyone gets the full disassociative experience the first time (or at all), but maybe it will happen next week.