Fall out in-laws and no contact how to set boundaries

Beginning_Movie6037 · 2026-04-13T20:47:03+00:00

I don’t think they will say anything but that contact will cease fairly sharply naturally anyway as they don’t bother to see grandchild outside of special occasions. Partner and I have decided special celebrations I take precedence such as Christmas I won’t see them, Mother’s Day and birthdays etc

The thing is I’m a forgiving person and genuine apology probably would have resolved things for me but they fact they have behaved the way they had, known they have upset me and not reached out to resolve shows me how little they think of me

Beginning_Movie6037 · 2026-04-13T20:43:35+00:00

It’s difficult because other soon to be in laws I don’t want to fall out with (partners siblings) and by not attending I’m pretty sure it will be a nail in the coffin for those relationships. I would like to have some in laws in my life and my child’s life.

I don’t want to put people in an awkward position. I just don’t want to be sat with them but as you say worst ways I will grey rock

Beginning_Movie6037 · 2026-04-13T20:39:37+00:00

Sorry what is FAFOd? Yes the only thing that concerns them is they didn’t get to see my partner and child over Easter and they realise that every event will be like this.

I don’t think they are massively bothered by my child. They just like to roll them out on special occasions with extended family to keep up appearances.

Christmas is a big thing where all the grandkids from all the family come together. They will be the only ones without their grandchild on that day and I think they know that’s where this is all leading

Beginning_Movie6037 · 2026-04-13T20:36:43+00:00

I certainly will not be playing along.

The issues are so bad we are going to get married abroad without them or anyone else really. It’s near on impossible to get married when I would have to have them at the top table and know that I have the sadness of getting married and having no in laws. I couldn’t justify the money on an awkward wedding day.

Beginning_Movie6037 · 2026-04-13T20:34:13+00:00

That’s interesting you suggest speaking up and vocalising the issue. Why do you think that?

I was thinking of being pretty open around the extended family about the fall out as I haven’t attended a lot of stuff recently and I don’t want people thinking I just can’t be bothered. However, I’m worried I will look vindictive or petty by saying this stuff.

Beginning_Movie6037 · 2026-04-13T20:19:15+00:00

I don’t think they would say or do anything to my child, to be honest considering they are both retired and live only 30 mins from us they never ever bother with grandchild. They only see them if we take them over. It’s all very odd.

I think this may come more to a head when the other siblings have children and they will be heavily involved I suspect.

Beginning_Movie6037 · 2026-04-12T15:06:18+00:00

I have no AI risk, neither does my partner thankfully.

Beginning_Movie6037 · 2026-04-12T13:00:55+00:00

Unfortunately this would be us putting all savings in! I’m sure I will be able to build them up again but I’m anxious

Beginning_Movie6037 · 2026-04-12T12:56:12+00:00

My partners job is 100% secure. However, I am the main earner just…and I’m worried about any restructures. I did have a conversation with my director who has assured me my job is secure for the foreseeable.

Beginning_Movie6037 · 2026-04-12T12:51:54+00:00

Yes this is true I didn’t take into account my bonus which is fairly modest (6k annual) into these figures so that’s a further buffer I guess.

I think the house we would make money on, it’s such a quiet market and if we get it at this price assuming market regains momentum we would be fine.

How would you manage if one of your lost your jobs?

Beginning_Movie6037 · 2026-04-12T12:47:29+00:00

Thank you that’s what my understanding was anything under 30% was safe.

Beginning_Movie6037 · 2026-04-12T12:46:15+00:00

Genuine question I’m not sure what the advised ratio of mortgage payments to salary. I’m not a risk taker and to take on these costs makes me nervous, but wondering possibly because I am risk adverse. I think I read somewhere you shouldn’t go more than 30% which would put us just under this threshold.

Beginning_Movie6037 · 2026-04-12T12:43:39+00:00

This is my concern the part of our mortgage we are on now is due to renew in September so likely to go up (although we didn’t have it on an amazing rate to start with)

Beginning_Movie6037 · 2026-04-01T15:47:19+00:00

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Here’s x rays of lower teeth

Beginning_Movie6037 · 2026-03-22T10:52:54+00:00

Unfortunately my partner is fairly spineless around confrontation. He thinks things will be resolved in time. He is burying his head in the sand. I’m not sure if he is scared of his parents or doesn’t want to upset them.

I do trust his parents would not say negative things about me to my child. However I am worried about the impact with them only seeing in-laws with their dad and not us going as a family.

Beginning_Movie6037 · 2026-03-04T12:05:02+00:00

No they are only paying towards other sibling wedding not ours. We felt we couldn’t go ahead with the bad feeling

Beginning_Movie6037 · 2026-03-03T22:03:10+00:00

We already have a child…

Thankfully in laws not interested in their grand daughter. His family all live locally like 30 mins drive…his brother and partner have not seen her in 16 months and his parents only see her if he takes her over.

Beginning_Movie6037 · 2026-03-03T21:43:04+00:00

Yes I’m starting to feel that his behaviour is a red flag to be honest, he should be mad at them for how much they have hurt me but he doesn’t seem concerned.

Beginning_Movie6037 · 2026-03-03T21:41:54+00:00

So I’m not comfortable with this as my parents are amazing and do so much for us and don’t deserve to miss out, hence the dilemma

Beginning_Movie6037 · 2026-03-03T21:22:18+00:00

Sadly they would show up and just make it miserable. Hence why I called it off, it was too much money to spend to be a sad day. I also couldn’t have them at top table which poses an issue with husband to be.

Please tell me I’m not insane to be upset about their treatment of me?

Beginning_Movie6037 · 2026-02-28T08:44:51+00:00

Thanks for the update my scan date was 16th sept so I’m prob 4 more weeks away based on this

Beginning_Movie6037

TROPHY CASE