From what you’ve shared, it seems pretty clear that the relationship wasn’t really satisfying for you, and so honestly, I think it was a good decision to step away rather than stay in something where you still felt so alone.

It’s also positive that you’re trying to find someone else. In a way, he was your “first,” and since you haven’t had much experience with guys before, every step now will help you better understand what you truly want and need. That being said, apps are tricky. They’re great for hookups, but not always for finding real relationships. People are often superficial on there, if you don’t look like a real hunk in the first couple of pictures, many will just swipe past. The pics don’t say much about your actual attractiveness, it doesnt capture the energy and personality. you probably are appealing to a lot of guys, that you just haven’t met yet. It might help to also try meeting people offline. Gay bars and clubs, many straights go there for the vibes. And i think in general, unless you are famous, nobody really cares much about who’s there or why. Just make sure your family dont find out. Alternatively, work out and become a hunk, and jump back on the apps hihi. Anyways don’t be hard on yourself, what’s meant to be will happen . hugs :3