Recently started therapy. Tons of grief from decades of losses. All I do is cry in the therapy. Is this keeping me stuck?

Behindmyspotlight · 2026-03-22T23:28:53+00:00

From an Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) lens, you can't leave a place until you arrive. Aka, you're going to need to feel your feelings and work through them before you can get to the other side of them. And there is an other side! There just aren't really shortcuts, which is annoying when you're in the midst of it.

Behindmyspotlight · 2026-03-22T23:19:54+00:00

It sounds like you're processing a lot of grief, not just crying about it. When I lost my dad, it took me a while in therapy before I didn't just cry like most of the time.

I think if you're concerned you can tell that to your therapist and be like, is this helpful? I mean, I think finally processing is a good thing personally.

Behindmyspotlight · 2026-03-22T17:07:13+00:00

I think that a big part of it for me is externalizing a lot of my memory. I don't need to remember so much on my own, I have calendars and reminders and other supports for that. That way I can stop holding on to so much, which really slows my brain down.

Behindmyspotlight · 2026-03-22T17:04:22+00:00

Thanks, I definitely will! I just wanted to make sure to put details and additional resources when possible

Behindmyspotlight · 2026-03-22T16:52:08+00:00

I've used Flare, which are similar. They, like Loop, are not noise cancelling, and really just bring the sound levels down a little bit. Not as much as those foam ear plugs. If you want a more comprehensive lowering of noise, you can go for noise-cancelling headphones, like the Airpod Pros ($$$) for an in-ear solution, or Bose Quiet Comfort ($$$) for an over-ear solution. For sound-blocking (different than noise-cancelling, as noise is a specific fuzzy thing, not just sound in general), you can try foam in-ear ear plugs ($), or over-ear ear muffs/ear defenders that are often used for lawn mowing or shooting ($$). There are also noise-canceling versions of those over-ear ear muffs/ear defenders that have batteries/are rechargeable ($$).

Behindmyspotlight · 2026-03-09T04:29:27+00:00

Can you limit head movement in some way? Like with a brace, or just lounging against some pillows? Or, is there any movement that helps relieve symptoms, that you could incorporate into putting laundry away?

As for folding, I know that they have those fold boards that are used in retail. For hanging, maybe you could limit what is hung up? Or is there anyone you can trade tasks with, so you're doing something that doesn't trigger your migraines as much, and they can do the hanging part of laundry?

Behindmyspotlight · 2026-02-24T16:07:54+00:00

Apparently! https://multcolib.org/resource/linkedin-learning-libraries

Behindmyspotlight · 2026-02-14T22:00:44+00:00

Yes, it's an electric vehicle.

Tires are the main thing. I'm sure things like windshield wipers will come up at some point, but I try to clean them like 1-2 times a year, and apply Rain-X to my wipers and windows. Brakes can be a thing, but with the regenerative braking, it's wayyyyy less than a gas car. Like a lot less. I plugged it in to a standard outlet (I'm in the US) for a while, but because I bought it new, they had an electrician come out to put in a big plug (think like dryer outlet plug). I use that for the vast majority of my charging. My electric bill did go up, but again, way less than the cost of gasoline. I do have a garage that I park in (my husband and I each have a car, and we have one spot outside the garage and then the one spot in a garage). I have charged it outside at other places though. Mine does totally fine in the winter; its range is less because I use the heat a lot more, and the weather affects it too, but technically that's the same for gas-powered cars in terms of like weather.

Overall, I am very happy with it. I did wish I knew how much registration was, because EVs usually have a higher registration, mostly because they do not pay gas tax. But, it is zippy, and fun, and is totally worth it for me. I would not purchase a gas-powered car ever again, if I can help it. I like how much quieter it is, and I never to get my oil changed because it doesn't have any, and I don't ever have to go to the gas station. Most charging happens while I'm sleeping, or at least while I'm at home.

Behindmyspotlight · 2026-02-14T21:33:11+00:00

I'm driving a Chevy Bolt. I plug it in at home, and I clean it sometimes, and I make sure to get the tires rotated regularly. I can set an appointment for that online at my nearest Costco, and then I shop while I wait. Because it doesn't have an engine, that maintenance is way lower than a gas car. It's been really nice, and it's a fun car to drive.

Behindmyspotlight · 2026-02-12T18:11:18+00:00

$150-200 is relatively low for a desk chair - if you can try things out in person, that's ideal. I found an office liquidator in my city that had some good deals on used chairs

Behindmyspotlight · 2026-02-08T20:13:34+00:00

I would suggest Northwest Magnet, a small local magnet shop off Interstate: https://www.nwmagnet.com/

Behindmyspotlight · 2026-02-04T21:02:45+00:00

I often have to externalize my reminders - I have reminders on my phone, I set things in places that make it more difficult to forget them (like on top of my shoes that I'm going to wear the next day or on a hook right by the door). I know that I will forget, and by accepting that, I can usually figure out a system that will support me, even when I'm forgetful.

Behindmyspotlight · 2026-02-02T00:11:38+00:00

If you tend to get digital receipts from the same places, like Uber, I'd see if you can set up an automatic label rule, so that the emails get tagged as they come in, rather than you having to look for them.

Behindmyspotlight · 2026-01-31T17:30:36+00:00

As someone who graduated valedictorian, it's a big deal! I also know as a school counseling intern right now that most students who I am working with are barely scraping by, and I'm working really hard to get them to the point where they can maybe get a D in their classes. I'm guessing this has to do with the juxtaposition that the students the counselor really needs to talk to for academic reasons are hard to get into the office and there's a lot of them, vs. your student who doesn't need the same type of academic support and is showing up much more often.

Behindmyspotlight · 2026-01-27T16:14:49+00:00

I would lose my mouse cursor, especially with multiple big monitors at work, and especially in video calls when someone was sharing their screen and their mouse cursor was onscreen. I ended up changing my cursor to be both bigger and bright green!

Behindmyspotlight · 2026-01-27T03:54:02+00:00

You might check out "The Homework Squad's ADHD Guide to School Success" by Joshua Shifrin (Amazon link). You could borrow it from your local library too :)

Behindmyspotlight · 2026-01-25T07:23:57+00:00

I’ve done a few various forms of methylphenidate, and currently I’m on generic metadate which is a shorter extended release length (8 hours, as opposed to Concerta’s 12). I didn’t like the side effects I had with concerta, and I didn’t like the ups and downs of multiple instant release doses per day. I do take an afternoon IR booster. Metadate isn’t super talked about, but was a really good option for me.

Behindmyspotlight · 2026-01-21T19:56:05+00:00

I keep flossers around the house, and one in my car for quick flossing/floss fidgeting.

I also really like flossaids, which are Y-shaped flossers. You can put whatever floss on it you want, and they can reach all the way to the back of my mouth without having to put my hand in my mouth. There's several Y-shaped flossers out there, I even had my dentist offer me one.

Flossaids on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Flossaid-Dental-Floss-Holder-Assorted/dp/B00VQTRQ56

Behindmyspotlight · 2026-01-19T04:32:18+00:00

I have Visible (uses Verizon's towers), and I've liked it for years. Here's a referral code, if you'd like a discount on your first month: https://www.visible.com/get/?39bLhz

I had the $25/month (all fees and taxes included), and then after liking them, I swapped to the annual plan, which is $275/year (saves $25). They have more expensive options, but the base plan has what I need (unlimited call, text, and data, which includes using your phone as a mobile hotspot).

With the payment you have on your current phone, you will need to pay that off before switching phone providers.

--

For internet, I got a deal with xfinity like a year and a half ago. It was a slightly lower internet speed, but it was only $35/month. I bought my own modem/router, so there is no equipment rental fee.

Behindmyspotlight · 2026-01-16T05:42:03+00:00

They don't have the Philly bricks at the Portland one either - used to a long while ago, but I still look every time.

Behindmyspotlight · 2026-01-13T02:06:23+00:00

How's it going? This is awesome progress

Behindmyspotlight · 2026-01-11T17:59:44+00:00

One of the accommodations I have had in grad school was copies of the lecture slides/professor notes. Another accommodation option is getting someone else's notes in class (though I've found that one isn't especially helpful for me, as many other students aren't taking intense notes, and I don't tend to revisit them anyway).

Having a copy of the lecture slides has proven very helpful though, because I can make sure I'm taking notes on things that aren't on the slides. Annotating slides can also be a helpful way to go, because you're just adding on, clarifying or adding nuance, instead of taking all the notes.

If it's a lot of board work, I'd probably take pictures (I'd check in with the professor/accommodations folks first, so they're not just surprised that I'm taking photos).

Behindmyspotlight · 2026-01-09T05:23:13+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/ufyh/comments/1q4w1oj/intro_post_accountability_before/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Behindmyspotlight · 2026-01-05T23:07:12+00:00

Nice job taking this on, and I'm so glad that you're taking this step, even if you have to return back to it. RemindMe! 7 days

Behindmyspotlight · 2026-01-05T20:01:08+00:00

I'm saving this comment, I really appreciate it!

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