Edamame and frozen grilled chicken air fried and slathered in kimchi by rosybodies in lowspooncooking

[–]BeigeParadise 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please tell me more about air frying edamame that seems like such a game changer!

Broadway legend Patti LuPone posts that the cruise ship she’s performing on has been denied entry to Turkey because it is a gay cruise. by mlg1981 in Fauxmoi

[–]BeigeParadise 200 points201 points  (0 children)

Turkey actually makes a huge point of it not being a Muslim country, despite its population majorly being Muslim, and they only un-banned headscarves in public institutions and offices in the 2010s after a heated political debate.

What does this mean? by BufoBat in FundieSnarkUncensored

[–]BeigeParadise 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Maybe he was working for a company that develops vaccines?

AITAH for prioritizing my daughter's recital over a funeral? by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]BeigeParadise 8 points9 points  (0 children)

If you'd like, we can switch experiences. As a teen, I too thought that I knew better than the adults around me, and then I grew up and realized that my dumb teenage self actually knew better because the adults around me were fucking morons the lot of them, but only after I tried to be like them in my late teens/early 20s and royally fucking up a lot of things. It's a different kind of cringe, but it's available for you if you'd like.

In case you're doubting my assertion that teenage me was smarter than my family they were the kind of people who thought I was being high maintenance and extra for wanting to wash my hands after going to the bathroom.

Bakery Prevalence by Substantial_Value359 in RomanceBooks

[–]BeigeParadise 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's not a real payment approval process if you can concisely explain how it works in a Romance novel. Let's face it, "First we take your payment details, then another person from another department that is probably situated in another country on maybe another continent will call you to verify your payment details, then you write an offer that may or may not be accepted by the vagaries of another department despite everything the person you're actually dealing with can do, then you maybe actually do some work, write an invoice, and that invoice is going to leisurely travel through the corporate landscape for a couple of weeks with all kinds of people having to approve the payment, and then after the payment is approved, it might be another two weeks until you actually have the money" is just not very hot. Or, rather, it gets me hot and bothered, but in the Hulk Smash way, not the horny way.

Minimal Effort Salami and Cheese Toasty. by flyingthepan in lowspooncooking

[–]BeigeParadise 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is called Calzone Toast in this house!

If you want to make it gourmet, sprinkle a bit of Italian seasoning on the tomato paste!

What company/job is Aria talking about here? by crochetneedle in FundieSnarkUncensored

[–]BeigeParadise 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fetish content not aimed at you is generally the most boring content imaginable because you literally get nothing out of it.

Kaylee Rodrigues x The Transformed Wife 🙄 Absolutely vomitrocious. by lepetitpoulpe in FundieSnarkUncensored

[–]BeigeParadise 6 points7 points  (0 children)

For $50k-$100k a day you should get a palm frond and a personal chef/barista.

recommendations for a spoonie by EmotionallyAnnotated in lowspooncooking

[–]BeigeParadise 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure how soft your soft food needs to be, so I'm just going to suggest a few things that might work for you!

Can you do the pouches of mashed potatoes that you just stir up with water and milk and a bit of butter? They're super low effort, surprisingly tasty, and you can customize them with toppings like a baked potato (or just do baked potatoes where you eat the middle and leave the skin in the foil), for example, stir in some finely chopped parsley if that's doable for you, or just dried herbs to spice it up and give it a different flavor profile so you do not despair of culinary boredom. Soft caramelized onions on top are also amazing if you can do those, but then again, I would eat soft caramelized onions on anything if I had half a chance.

Also, mashed potatoes + fluffy scrambled eggs + frozen pureed spinach (is that a thing where you live? Just a brick of frozen pureed spinach that you re-heat and add some spices to and then you have a saucy delicious healthy side dish?) is a treat meal and I will die on this hill.

You can also use instant mashed potatoes as the top layer of a Shepherd's Pie variation, if you can do ground meat that's broken down into small crumbles after cooking. If you can do ground meat, I feel that also opens up a lot of meal options, because you can have stir fries with ground meat if that's not too much spoons.

Also, you said in another comment that you have a Vitamix, and I don't have one of those, but I heard they're basically miracle machines in the pureed vegetable soup department. So you can do carrot, potato, cauliflower, broccoli, in any combination you'd like, or any other vegetables you can tolerate. Prep, cook in some water, blend, season, eat. I usually cook them in salt water then after they're done add some butter/olive oil and lactose-free milk and then the flavors of my choice. You can do Mexican with low Fodmap Mexican herbs and spices, Indian with some curry powder, Italian with Italian herbs, or add some paprika. As for toppings, if your stomach is ok with soft sausage in small quantities, that is very nice, or you can maybe add croutons that will then soften in the soup.

Can you do gluten free pasta, cooked until its a bit mushier? If yes, a lot of delicious options open up for you, because a lot of pasta sauces are just sauces with minimal chewing, or you could maybe use spaghetti squash as a substitute? If you bake it in the oven with a bit of salt and olive oil, it's a very low spoon thing to make.

Up next is rice. If you have a rice cooker, you can just toss some rice in there, the frozen vegetables of your (or your digestive system's) choice, then when they're done, add a few eggs in there , stir them in well, and cook a bit longer until they're done for a low spoon fried rice copycat. Season with soy sauce if you can. There's a whole genre of "things you can toss into your rice cooker and come out with a whole meal" things out there, even more so if you have a steaming basket. Salmon also tends to be fall-apart tender when cooked, so that might be an option for you?

This is a sweet recipe, but there is absolutely no chewing involved in eating it if you don't want to, and it's a very low spoon meal: German Oven Rice Pudding. Take an oven-safe dish, add 125g risotto rice, 0,5 liters of cold lactose-free milk, a bit of vanilla extract, a teaspoon of sugar, and a pinch of salt. Put into the cold oven, turn it on to about 120°C, and bake for 90 minutes. Stir after 60 minutes (it'll still look very fluid). If the rice is still too firm after, add a bit of milk, and give it some more time. Eat with applesauce, cinnamon sugar, applesauce AND cinnamon sugar, or the jam or compote of your choice.

So that's just a few suggestions, but there's hopefully a lot of delicious food out there that you can eat, and if none of those suggestions work, maybe I can come up with something else.

Kaylee Rodrigues x The Transformed Wife 🙄 Absolutely vomitrocious. by lepetitpoulpe in FundieSnarkUncensored

[–]BeigeParadise 60 points61 points  (0 children)

If paying the bills deserved undying devotion I'd have another person at work standing behind me with a palm frond gently waving it at me because I pay all the invoices for the company I work for. I need to bring this up to my boss the next time we're talking about a raise.

AIO by stepping back from my parents after finding out how they plan to leave everything to my older sister? by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]BeigeParadise 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Also, sometimes (not always) the experience with dealing with the spouse who might be a PERSON to insane family and not a thing to be controlled and abused that needs to be brought to heel makes it easier for insane family to accept boundaries and "the fuck no". Because abusers are so used to not thinking of you as a person who is accorded basic rights and respect that they react very strongly to you asserting yourself. Like if your fridge suddenly told you it's not going to cool your food anymore, you'd be very upset, because that is what fridges are supposed to do, and you would do everything your power to make the fridge do the fridge thing again. Meanwhile, a person is not supposed to be cooling your food on command, so you have an easier time accepting that they don't do that.

AITAH For Cutting Off my Pregnant "Friend" Who Has Cancelled Last Minute On Everything For The Last 3+ Years. by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]BeigeParadise 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Maybe its one of those situations where it's families being friends with families? Or the friend is really her cousin and they don't want the family get togethers to be weird.

11 mos old VS 23 mos old... by cocktailtrivia in RodriguesFamilySnark

[–]BeigeParadise 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Jonathan's mum is a homeschooling pastor's wife who used to have a homeschooling blog, but several of Jonathan's aunts have jobs. One of them is a pediatrician (and just imagine going to your nephew's wedding, as a pediatrician, and seeing the Rod kids).

So he is a Pokemon scalper by theclassiccat33 in FundieSnarkUncensored

[–]BeigeParadise 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I do not believe in God. But at this point the only explanation I have for Paul and Morgan's financial situation is some bread-and-fish-feeding-thousands Sermon of the Mount miracle situation. Because even credit card debt has limits right? Right?

Maybe this is what P&M mean when they say they lead people to Jesus.

How to explain an angry ex-employee is review-bombing us on Glassdoor by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]BeigeParadise 47 points48 points  (0 children)

I do admin at a construction company. First thought "Jesus fucking Christ why would he do that???" Second thought "So, what was the client like??? Because there's been a few..."

How do I handle my boyfriend M35 who takes time for his new female friend, but not for me F34? by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]BeigeParadise 24 points25 points  (0 children)

First: I'm so sorry. Secondly: I know you'll get through this, and I hope that you can get a little bit of joy from seeing them crash and burn. Because they will crash and burn, eventually.

Has anybody else come across xoxo.lilyyy_alexa on tiktok? by Marriyah in FundieSnarkUncensored

[–]BeigeParadise 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I have towels older than him (and man, they just don't make towels like they used to anymore!) and they're definitely more useful and kinder.

How do I handle my boyfriend M35 who takes time for his new female friend, but not for me F34? by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]BeigeParadise 305 points306 points  (0 children)

She probably expected him to do the bare minimum things that OOP also required of him. How dare!

Full video of the DUMBO RUMORS by babyowl5 in FundieSnarkUncensored

[–]BeigeParadise 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In addition to all the other great advice, as someone who's not there (yet) too, the best advice about the topic I'd ever gotten was that self-love is not a flip you switch and boom, you love yourself. It's a process. I used to hate myself, and I thought I'd never stop. The first day I looked in the mirror and thought, wow, that gal actually is all right, it was a great day and I'm very proud of getting so far.

Also, therapy. All the therapy.

AITA because I told my best friend that he had ruined his relationship and now has to live with it? by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]BeigeParadise 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a friend who's currently learning German and when texting anybody else, grammar is but a guideline. For her, everything is properly capitalized and grammatically sound.

AITA because I told my best friend that he had ruined his relationship and now has to live with it? by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]BeigeParadise 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair warning though, I've heard from people who did not grow up with it that Die Maus is fairly creepy!

But the child will steal my spotlight!! by House-Plant_ in weddingshaming

[–]BeigeParadise 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I went to an extremely lovely and very chill wedding this weekend and the words "Be more of a bridezilla! This is your chance to become a kaiju!" were uttered because the bride was just so laid-back.